Chameleon

Written By Alex Burnham

English has always fascinated me for a plethora of reasons. It's complexity, regional variation, and the fact that "Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo" is a grammatically correct sentence. I was raised speaking English, and still do to this day, only knowing scraps of Spanish from high school classes, but even then, I speak different colors of English. What do I mean by colors? I'm glad you asked. 

People often change the way they speak depending on who they're around, things such as syntax, grammar, and vocabulary to name a few. The changing of your tongue based on your environment. Sounds close to what a chameleon does, right? We speak differently to fit in, to match the color around us. I used to think it a strange concept, but here I am doing it myself at this moment. I'm cleaning up my grammar, making full sentences, and using more complex words to sound smarter than I probably am.

I feel that everyone is born with or grows into a dominant color, being what is the most natural to say. An easy way to find this? Get your wisdom teeth pulled. When you come to, practically all filters are off, and you'll say whatever comes to mind. I know when I got mine pulled, my mom heard way more than she wanted to, but that's beside the point. From the recording of the car ride home, the color I learned I was using was a slurred together spin on what I use around my friends. That actually makes a lot of sense. I'm much more lax with them, and It's probably my most unprofessional color, being an overwhelming amount of sarcasm, incomplete sentences, and using words such as poggers, dope, and swiggidyswoogy. I'll give an example sentence of how I'd ask my friends if they'd want to go to a movie after school. _"Hey, y'all wanna go see a movie after we get outta here?"_

Things clean up a bit at home. I grew up in a military family, responding with yes ma'am and yes sir, and responding to elders with a fair bit of composure and cleanliness. My sentences become more complete, I use real words, I don't swear near as much, and my diction even becomes clearer. Even though it's how I was raised speaking, I don't consider it my actual color, due to the fact that I'm still restricting what's said and how it's said. When I was younger, It didn't feel that strange, but as time went on and I was exposed more and more to things outside my home, I became comfortable in something completely different. I'm not saying that's a bad thing, but it's for sure something that's happened. I'll once again bring back the movie example. "_Hey, does anyone want to see a movie after school?"._ A Fair bit different, yeah? I replace my more lax and rough speech with the original words. If you think that's a drastic change, you haven't seen anything yet.

Suffice it to say, most people that work in customer service find themselves putting on a more professional and clean color than they ever so. It's like if our little chameleon was wearing a suit and tie. My tone is wildly different from anything else, being more high pitched and cheerful to appear helpful and friendly. My diction becomes crystal clear, as a lot of customers I work with are elderly, and they need that to be able to understand. The words I use are fairly bare bones and as close to the roots as you can get, and my sentences are filled with much more context so it's clear what I'm referring to when I speak. I'll bring back my movie example once more. "_Would anyone like to go see a movie after I get out of school today?". _There's a lot more basic of words, and to make up for that, more of them. All of this for the sake of seeming as kind and welcoming to the widest demographic of people that I can. I'm trying to fit in the crowd. Blend in. Change my color to match everyone else, like a chameleon.