Betrayal Trauma.
Betrayal Trauma.
When someone we love and depend on breaks our trust — through infidelity, secrecy, or dishonesty — the impact goes far deeper than heartbreak. This is called betrayal trauma, and it can affect not only our emotions but also our nervous system, sense of identity, and ability to trust others in the future.
What Makes Betrayal Trauma Different?
What Makes Betrayal Trauma Different?
Betrayal trauma is unique because the pain comes from someone we rely on for safety and connection. Dr. Jennifer Freyd, who first introduced betrayal trauma theory in the 1990s, explained that when a trusted relationship becomes unsafe, the brain may struggle to process it. Sometimes we even “block out” or minimize the betrayal as a survival strategy.
Nervous System Reactions
Nervous System Reactions
Research shows that the fallout of betrayal can look very similar to post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) (Gordon, Baucom & Snyder, 2004). Some common symptoms include:
Intrusive thoughts and mental replaying of events
Anxiety, panic, or hypervigilance
Difficulty sleeping or concentrating
Feeling emotionally numb or disconnected
Struggling to trust others or even yourself
Why It Impacts Attachment
Why It Impacts Attachment
Attachment research (Mikulincer & Shaver, 2007) highlights that secure bonds give us a sense of safety. When betrayal occurs, it strikes at the very foundation of our attachment system. That’s why the effects can feel overwhelming, destabilizing, and even physically disorienting.
The Good News: Healing is Possible
The Good News: Healing is Possible
Though betrayal trauma shakes us at our core, healing is possible. With therapy, support, and nervous system regulation, people often find themselves not only recovering but also reconnecting with their inner strength. Future posts in this series will explore how betrayal affects mental health, children, and relationships — and what healing can look like, whether together or apart.
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