November 2021: Regulating Emotion is a Family Affair
November 2021: Regulating Emotion is a Family Affair
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Regulating emotion is a learned skill. As we become more aware of how our emotions affect others, we begin to make choices about our behaviors while experiencing certain emotions. When we experience how other’s behavior affects us, we become more reflective about how we want to treat others. Children watch their caregivers handle and manage their own emotions and learn family expectations for handling emotion. Think of the old verbiage “do as I say, not as I do.” That has never worked out quite as well as caregivers may like.
The strategies we use to regulate our emotions are systemic. The way you, as the caregiver, regulate your emotions is likely the way your children regulate. Kinder and first grade students at Erie Elementary school are learning to regulate emotion using a program called ZONES of Regulation. As they bring home materials, let them teach healthy regulation strategies to the whole family. Practice together. Use the language.
I like to think of our experience with emotions like a energy thermometer. The Blue Zone feelings are low energy feelings. As we move up the thermometer we experience more energy, bringing us eventually to The Red Zone feelings. This is where we can feel out of control. It’s very hard to make safe, productive decisions when in the Red Zone.
All feelings are okay, it’s how we handle them that matters.
Students will begin to recognize clues that their bodies either need to calm down or energize to optimize kindness and learning.
Practice using various tools at home to determine whether these tools give energy or take it away. The results may be different for everyone. In some cases the tool may even do both. You may consider creating a calm space for regulation in your home. See some examples of regulation tools below.
Rice or sand tray
Playdough or clay
Exercise
Stretching
Deep breaths
Listen to quiet orchestra music
Fidgets
Cuddling with another person
Cuddling with a stuffed animal
Giving self a tight (not hurtful) hug
Headphones to block noise
Plank or wall sits
Coloring or drawing
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