January 2022: Big Problem VS Small Problem - Does Your Reaction Match the Size of the Problem?
January 2022: Big Problem VS Small Problem - Does Your Reaction Match the Size of the Problem?
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Do you, as a caregiver, ever overreact?
Why do we notice overreactions in our children more easily than we notice overreactions in ourselves?
We expect our children to have reactions that match the size of their problem, and yet, we know how hard that is sometimes. It can be especially hard when we’re already feeling frustrated and overwhelmed. That’s when a small problem can feel huge!
1st grade and kindergarten students at Erie Elementary School are exploring the size of their problems. They are assigning emotion to those problems and considering the appropriate response. They are learning to stop and think before they act.
Even if we’re having a YELLOW ZONE feeling about a problem, we can have an appropriate GREEN ZONE reaction.
Consider this – Problem: My sister won’t share the Legos. Feeling: frustrated, sad. Reaction: Use a different toy.
In this situation, the feelings were BLUE and YELLOW ZONE feelings. The reaction was GREEN.
Just because we’re feeling RED ZONE angry, doesn’t mean we have the right to have a RED ZONE reaction (hitting/screaming/ruining someone’s property). Our super power is self-control!
Being a great example is the best gift you can give your child. Next time you spill milk say, “oh well, small problem. I’ll just clean it up.” Verbalizing your thoughts and actions help children process their own challenges.
When your child is experiencing a small problem help them verbalize it before it feels too big. “No big deal, we’ll just find some other socks.”
But what if you, as the caregiver, overreact. No big deal! Small problem. You can say to your child later, “boy, I sure overreacted at dinner. That was a small problem. I could have handled it differently. I’m sorry.”
But what if my child is reacting to a small problem as though it were a huge problem. Wait until your child has calmed down before reviewing what happened. “I’m sorry there were no cookies in your lunch. I could see you were really upset about that. Do you think your reaction matched the size of your problem? How could you react next time, so your behavior matches the size of your problem?
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