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You love receiving gifts. It's an open invitation to hurt people's feelings by purposefully looking disappointed when you open it. People will just hand you this beautiful broach, or bracelet, and then you just look disappointed, and then they start to cry. You may love the gift but giving them pain gives you more pleasure.
Your mother has learned this fact about you so that she doesn't give you any more gifts in person. Although, she does still love to give gifts to you and the other people in her life. That's one of the things you both hate and love about her. You hate that she's so nice that she gives everyone gifts all the time. But you love that some of those gifts are more pranky than sentimental. A lot of the execs in her company are gifted bombs that they need to diffuse or else they'll explode with ink, glitter, and stink.
You love going to the offices after Christmas and smelling the pain. You love seeing these huge human and monster guys in their big suits all covered in sparkling ink. You love going up to them with your mom and insulting them on their reaction times and their new look/smell for the next month. Because you can't get that smell and ink out for a month.
"Hostile work environment"? No, it's just being silly. And besides, if they didn't want to be covered in stinky gay ink, then they shouldn't have been top-level executives at the largest company on earth. They shouldn't have had 8-digit salaries. They say, money gives you happiness, so all that money should cover it for them.
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