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Boy, am I glad to type some player's name in that slot other than Meowrage. Nothing against meowrage, it's just that Mew Mew hadn't been named yet, and that Syb was coming through on her side of the story, and stuff like that.
You enter your bedroom.
I will explain it all from left to right (on the reader's side) and I will explain it all in most vigorous detail.
On the furthest left we have some pizza boxes. They are empty and have been for a long time now. This is because you have a strict, "no butlers in the room" policy that you employ to keep the butler out of your room. Your mother allows this as she too had the same thing growing up, and she respects your right of privacy (the pussy). And so, you come into this room to eat pizza, watch naughty television, plan your suicide (which you leave purposefully ambiguous when making threats if you actually want it or not), and to do other devious things. Normally, your mother doesn't allow pizza, but you have specifically trained birds you keep in an aviary to pick up the pizza at the store and bring it to you.
Was that last sentence true? Fuck no, yes, you have an aviary with tons of trained little birds, but you don't have any of them trained to bring you pizza, no, you just order it online like the rest of the people.
Now, for Silence of the Lambs. You watched that movie when you shouldn't have when you were about 10 (your 14 now) and you've loved it ever since. Anthony Hopkins does such a great job at portraying a serial killer. Not that there are bad ways to portray a serial killer, or even a necessarily good way, just that his performance killed it...
pause for laughter and- You like to watch movies and TV shows about serial killers because you also like to watch true crime documentaries. You love to see what kinds of conditions people have to go through in order to be a murderer. Your Dexters, Dammers, Simpsons, Sweeny Todds, Batemans, Kramers, Holmes, Bundys, and your Shipmans, all give you a special feeling when you see them on screen, and you aspire to be just like them. Well, I say this in that you do it in an ironic way, in a sense that it makes fun of actual people who see things like that in the media and are stupid enough to attempt those same things in their lives, but also in a sense that you want to jokingly scare your mother and potential friends. Your current friends made it into your circle before you employed this strategy of jokingly aspiring to be a serial killer, but as you are a princess of one of the major business empires in the world, you get lots of dorks and self-proclaimed suiters who try to get in with you, but you push away, especially with this serial killer kind of attack.
This is also in line with all the weapons you keep in your room too. They are extents of your willingness to pretend to try to kill yourself that you keep around just to make the joke-that much funnier. Because it is a joke... Or is it?... You keep that secret locked deep into your subconsious, along with names of all the random people you pretend to be your friend, and with all the cheat codes for GTA 5, which somehow wasn't made by the major game developer. You also keep them in your room as a defense against anybody who breaks in. You can use them, not only as weapons (your strife specibus is set to scidekind) but also as throwing items in your inventory, as your fetch modus is set to asshole type. Asshole type fetch modus is where you put your sylladex cards physically into a set of assholes. Whose assholes? is not the correct answer, why you chose it? is a better one, but the one I'm most concerned with is- Do you have protection? And for these answers, you have no idea, you chose it because fuck the haters, and you do what you want you can always just pull out.
Now, keeping in line with your traps of concerning, you have your poster of Schindler's list. Excellent movie, great plot, excellent execution of roles (take that as you want), you use it to bait people into asking, "oh, you saw Schindler's list? That movie was awesome, how'd you like it?" To which you'd respond with, "oh it was awesome!!! I kinda thought the ending was a little bittersweet" and the person would respond with some sort of "oh yeah, that part of the story" kinda thing and specifically call out something actually bittersweet about it, but you'd say, "no, not about that part, Amon Geöth shouldn't had been killed" and you'd spark a match in that person's brain that you were no good, and that you were a neo nazi. You aren't, in fact, a neo nazi, just make that clear, you do this kinda thing to make people touring the yacht, the billionaires and such, not want to stay in your room, and with the added benifit of making them want to leave as soon as possible, as you do most of your things ironically. (Also, you can't help but laugh at a character literally named amongus)
Speaking of ironic things, your voodoo doll you bought a year ago is one of those ironic things. You bought it to kinda make fun of Mew Mew and their nonsense about the occult. You bought it, along with a request for a bit of Mew Mew's hair to make the voodoo thing work, but it didn't work, not very well at least. You'd dowse it in water, but it didn't make Mew Mew wet at all. So, instead of doing horrible things to Mew Mew, you pulled a few feathers from Syb, and started messing about with things. You'd poke needles into him, pull a limb or two a little more than they should, and also dowsing him in water. One thing you are private about, and very much embarrassed about is that you kinda used it to wet the bed so to speak. You know you shouldn't have, which is exactly why you did it, but it felt somehow so good. You've sworn to never speak of, do, or even recollect about the event as it was too freaky, even for your twisted up mind. You don't feel anything towards Syb himself, or maybe you do, it's just if you do, it's not how people describe it. You don't like to dredge on buried things, so, you move onto one of the other things in your room.
Gloom, is a card game you like to play with your friends, usually through Encore's built-in video call, but in recent times in person. It has a basic concept of being a game where the goal is for everything to go wrong, and the person with the most wrong things on their family wins. You're kind of an expert at this game. You bought it at a, ugh, comic convention, that you and your friends attended a few years ago and the concept intrigued you enough to buy the game for yourself.
One thing you should know, I mean, you already know this, but you hate anything nerdy. You find all things nerdy, like comic conventions, fighting tournaments, speedrunning, talking to anyone on tumblr, and your mom, all to be very gross and overinclusive to you, and to be without an edge, which is exactly why you find it very self-deprecating when you find yourself in the liking of one of these nerdy events. You strive for a world of edge, but for some reason, a lot of people don't like edge and prefer a world where nobody feels anything.
Speaking of not feeling anything, your virtual reality device is a WDG issued device that completely allows you to enter the internet and actually feel that way. Your mother designed it so you could experience things you couldn't have when you were still in the forest, but you mostly just use it to talk to people online and watch YouPoop and stuff. Oh, don't think I forgot about YouPoop, the videoshitting website which you spend hours of your day watching. "Shit ain't for flushin'" is its slogan and it shows. You've watched as the site has changed from having rating, a la yelp, to not even having a way of disliking a shit. And yes, this does imply that you were watching YouPoop before the monsters broke the barrier, it was a wasteland before WDG fully implemented the proper technology for it to work. Besides YouPoop, you watch Prod streams like Mew Mew from time to time. It's good fun, and you'd suggest it to anyone who doesn't already know about it.
Now, last, but not least, your cart of dresses. Your mother ordered you so many dresses to fill your lacking wardrobe, that if you even see a dress, beit in a store or online, or even a few times on some person, your mom will buy it and put it in with the rest of your clothing. And what's worse is that it's everywhere you go. Her logic is that if you were to be in a zombie apocolypse, or if you were to strand on an island, you'd have all the clothing you'd need to get you at least a year and a half (all without laundry). You aren't too fond of them, that's why you leave them hanging, but there is one you do like, the one that you're currently wearing.
When Alphys first met you, she offered this dress as one of the gifts to set up a relationship. And you wore it often in the shack before you were adopted, and so it reminds you of a time in your life before it became insane, when it was just a little crazy.
And with that, you've gone full circle. How was that, enough info on you? What should you do next? Explore more? Find and kill the butler? Threaten to commit suicide, again?
Tune it next time, on Starstuck
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