How about you... what? You're in a very unfortunate situation right now. Not only is your door blocked beyond comprehension, now your sprinkler system is drowning out your room. Oh boy!
Oh yeah, introductions.
You are the PENAL INQUIRER. You are in charge of the Prospit prison system. You've had this job for quite a while now. The previous PENAL INQUIRER went crazy at her desk and hung himself about where you're standing now. She wrote in her suicide note that you would take over her job. You had never heard of this job before you got the letter in the mail. Originally, you were being trained to be a pickle maker, but then you are now here. Fortunately, the previous INQUIRER was generous to leave a set of instructional videotapes in the event in her death. You were keen enough to patch together an idea of how a PENAL INQUIRER's supposed to do his job. Today, you have two neighbors who both have a great deal of influence in the Prospit solution network. However, yours is the most important. You actually get to go out into the world and meet lots of interesting people. You were instructed to make lots of contract deals with companies in the kingdom in order to incentivize better performance, but you've noticed that this only leads to incarpasciane conditions for the people in the system, so you have tried to stop this from happening.