Before you go outside, you look to the westward side of the hallway.
This is where your mother's urns are held. Your mother died shortly after your own birth and was then cremated by your grandma. Your father hasn't told you how exactly she died, you just know that she dies. This has been the stage for the forsaken event that you don't want to talk about. You've spent several hours just sitting here, or in the study wondering what she was like before she died, it would've been nice to have met her, but the past is in the past and you couldn't bring her back, so why try now, right?
After thinking about it for a bit, you head to the door to the left, which is the one to your outside patio.