There is no Alchemiter. You're certain that there never was an Alchemiter nor will there ever be an Alchemiter. The very concept of an Alchemiter perplexes you beyond explanation. You're telling me that you can combine items just by putting them in a machine and cutting a tube in half? What poposterity!
All joking aside, the alchemiter turns into a pumpkin. This seems very useless.