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You go to answer the phone. In a haste, you leap out from under your desk, and in an instant, you find yourself right in front of your phone. You pause for a second to think of how cool that would've looked in a poorly animated GIF...
that's enough thinking, where you're going, you won't need thinking. You pick up the phone and say your unbearably stupid answering phrase
"Wewcomew two thwa mweowawage mweowawosa pwivate *moan* invwestigwatow hotwine *moans* howw mway I, hewp youwwe *moans even louder*"
This, unbegrudgingly, is the outcome of a bet you had with one of your friends. It started as a joke through email, but eventually, that mweat turned into a contest, and you lost. Now, you must answer the phone just as that until the next time you two meet in person.
Non-unexpectedly, quite, the person on the other end makes a few disgusted grumble-remarks, but then pulls themself together, through a slue of unfunny puns about dogs and bones, and hysterical antics, you discover that this bonehead lost his brother when he (the brother) was playing a videogame, you didn't pay too much attention to the name of the game, maybe sbub? -anyways, you learn that the brother started playing when he (the bonehead on the phone) went out to go buy some milk from the store (get your mind out of the gutter, their literal skeletons, Milk is the only thing they can drink, and getting it from the store is the fastest way to get it), and when he came back, his house was destroyed in a meteor crash. You learn he quickly ran to call the police, but they thought he was crazy, and so, he called you instead, seeming that your business is the craziest PI out there.
After accepting the offer to investigate and hanging up, you pass it off because you have more pressing matters: trying to figure out who you are. And one of the best ways to figure that out is to look around your room and remember the objects inside.
What do you do? (and I completely suggest the thing I just said)
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