Never Ignore a Speed Limit

It was when I was jogging to Spanish, with 20 seconds to spare, that I got stopped in the 700s. A tall man dressed in all black with “Hall Monitor” pasted across his chest handed me a white slip of paper that read “Your violation of exceeding our 5mph limit in hallway 700s has resulted in detention this afternoon 4/1.” I took the slip, and entered my Spanish class, confused and distressed, only to see that two of my classmates received similar slips. One slip was pink and the other was orange. I wondered what these different colored papers meant, but I didn't have time to ask. 

After Spanish class, I waited in the hallway for my friend to meet me, and was stopped by another tall man dressed in all black. I wasn't even moving, what could he possibly be troubling me for? He handed me a pink slip that read “Your violation of parking illegally in hallway 700s has resulted in detention this afternoon 4/1.”  I stared at the slip, baffled by the words parking illegally in the hallway. Did they really expect me to follow painted parking lines between lockers? Were there tiny “ no parking” signs I had missed? Before I could ask, another monitor appeared with a clipboard in his hand, muttering something about “ loitering with intent to socialize.” My friend and I exchanged glances, wondering how even standing still was now a criminal offense. 

By the end of the day, I had received three more tickets: jaywalking in the cafeteria, failing to yield to a passing sophomore, and not using my hand signals to indicate that I was turning. I began to wonder if the 700s hallway had secretly declared its own traffic code. Throughout the day, walking through the hallway felt less like a way to transport to class and more like weaving around an obstacle course designed by “Hall Monitors” in black suits. If you ever have to travel in the 700s hallway, I warn you to walk slowly, never stop moving, and be aware of your surroundings as your high school career and survival depends on it.