By: Anonymous
A note from the editor: For the privacy and protection of the author (who still wants boxer points and fears repercussions in the form of detractions) this story is being run anonymously.
Boxer Points, the Neuwirth currency that teachers give out to students as a reward for good behavior, academic achievement, and emotional maturity, while at the same time being doled out as a form of punishment, are commonly misunderstood and ridiculed; but have you ever stopped to realize how in shambles our economy is?
Most of the points students get or earn are just from being present. Each week, students get paid their salary of 100 points. As long as a student isn’t late or tardy, they keep that cash in their Boxer Bank. Meanwhile, teachers can give out 2 points per positive action. The system rewards you for just being here and not much if you are really paying attention, participating, helping, and being a scholar. The Neuwirth Boxer Point system is honestly hysterical. How is it that most of our points we get from just being in class everyday and when we participate in class we get 2 points per participation, the math isn’t adding up. It's like if I were to go up to the homie Bill Gates and I PayPal him $5, he doesn’t care because he would make way more than $5 by just existing. The $5 wouldn’t even register in his billion-dollar bank account. The positive points for showing Boxer spirit, being a supportive peer, or helping a teacher are as useless as the $5 in Bill Gates’ account - why even bother?
This makes it complicated for teachers to make an impact in students' bank accounts. So what's a teacher to do? Many stop giving out points all together. It’s frustrating, but I don’t blame them, as it is time consuming and not the most important part of their job, often falling victim to forgetfulness.
But then we have Mr.Lu, who somehow manages to keep his Freshmen advisory miles ahead of his competitors, like they really are the outlier here making the other teachers look kinda whack? Speaking of whack, HOW ARE THE FRESHMEN GOING TO BE EARNING MORE POINTS THAN US (seniors), THEY’RE FRESHMEN FOR CRYING OUT LOUD! How is it that Mr. Lu himself can manage to give out a total of 5940 Boxer Points in the second week of this semester? The semester just started and this man is out here giving out close to 6000 points to the freshmen. According to economics expert, Anonymous “If this democrat continues at this rate, the value of the Boxer Points will be lost. Similarly to our actual economy, the more money—in our case Boxer Points—in circulation, the less the money is worth. If Mr. Lu continues to hand out Boxer Points at the rate that he is, the value of Neuwirth currency will continuously decrease. The prices of items in our Boxer Bodega will increase and in turn, students will scramble to gain points to buy what their hearts desire. Unfortunately, not everyone has Mr. Lu as a teacher and thus not everyone will be able to afford the things in the store.” In the long and illustrious history of Neuwirth, has there ever been a teacher that has exploited the system more than Mr. Lu? For the sake of the other grade levels, and the Neuwirth economy as a whole, this injustice must come to an end.
Let’s move on to the purchasing power of the Boxer Points. Can we be real for a second - what can you actually purchase with Boxer Points…exactly? Yeah there was the Boxer Bodega, for what seemed like 3 weeks, but it appeared to have gone bankrupt. It’s too bad because I was really saving my points to get the “top tier” items like getting permission to order Doordash that I will have to pay for and get to play video games. (totally unlike the after school club!) I swear I could find a way to get myself Doordash without needing to waste my hard-earned Boxer Points. There must be a hole in the bottom of the piggy bank, because any points accumulated in a given semester seem to magically disappear at the start of a new semester. Boxer Points should have more use, we should be able to get food rather than get permission to order food Boxer Points should be cashed in to attend fun field trips like advisories do when they have good attendance.
Despite the many flaws it has, there are conveniences to our closed economy. The Neuwirth Times spoke to the greatest on-grade level English 11th teacher and Film as Literature expert, Mr. Paranjpe. He finds a way to implement points in his classes and really uses the Boxer Point system by rewarding participation and doing fun competitions between his classes. Paranjpe feels as if this school year, people have been gossiping more about Boxer Points than ever before. Teachers as well as students have been talking more about Boxer Points. Students are saying “Can I get Boxer Points for that?” There are students that are putting up chairs of others who didn’t and asking for Boxer Points jokingly (or not) but they are still helping out.
In the eyes of some, these points are having a positive impact and I have to admit that perhaps they are. However I believe that we should be able to have more opportunities to use them. Senior Ashley Avila mentioned “it would be better to sell during lunch or nutrition instead of after school…” referring to the Boxer Bodega. Having better rewards such as a field trips, Doordash, or Chick-fil-A would be nice to prevent them from remaining useless points that just sit in our bank accounts collecting dust. But most importantly stop Lu and all his handouts being given to freshmen.
As of the publish date of this issue the Boxer Bodega is back. Someone must have leaked the story, which shows the power of the media. Now we wait to see for how long until the Freshmen bankrupt them once again.