Everyone always leaves the judging of naughty or nice to Mr. Saint Nicholas, but has anyone ever questioned him? Today we are going to peek behind the false holy veil that this fat man wears.
All year round boys and girls are forced into behaving well in hopes of getting a present from Santa Claus. According to burgchildrensdentistry.com (which is the first result to pop up when you google “what do you need to do to get on the nice list”), there are 10 steps to get into Santa’s nice list those being:
Be Kind to Your Siblings
Offer to Help Your Mom or Dad do Household Chores
Clean Up After Yourself
Eat All of Your Dinner
Do Your Homework
Say Thank You
Make a New Friend
Share Your Things
Make Your Bed
Don’t Complain
Each of these requirements doesn't seem hard to do, but being pressured to do selfless acts, chores, and homework day after day all without a slip; that's impossible. What if I forget to make my bed one day? Am I labeled as naughty for the rest of the year? I don’t always eat all of my dinners and I’m sure there are many people out there who don’t share all of their belongings or forget to say thank you occasionally. Due to these honest mistakes, all we are worth during Christmas - the day of giving and love - all we are worth is coal. Who cares if you gave charity to the homeless or helped a kitten down from a tree, if you don’t make your bed one too many times, you’re naughty - A foul and disgusting human who only deserves coal. To compound the damage, all these requirements are pushed onto young and impressionable children, teaching them their efforts will only be rewarded if they’re perfect, and only to strive to be good to receive materialistic items in return.
Who even is this Nicholas guy to tell people how to behave? Who is he to be the judge, jury, and executioner of kindness? Always watching us all day every day and our each and every move… What a creep. Santa needs to get off his high horse (or reindeer) and see the monster he has become. Telling us to clean up after ourselves, when was the last time he cleaned that horrendous coat of his? And telling us to say thank you? Please, he doesn’t even say thank you to all the children who leave out some milk and cookies for him. What a hypocrite. Don’t even get me started on how he’s committing animal cruelty and somehow convinces the world to praise it. The poor reindeer worked to the bone all night long traveling all across the world. It must really take a toll on them. And what about the elves? Santa’s elves work ALL year long, slaving away to meet their 8 billion toy quota to give to all the people in the world every year, all to not even get paid a dime. Santa’s toy-making workshop is nothing more than a glorified sweatshop. And remember these elves are a little about 2 feet tall. Imagine having workers smaller than the average 4-year-old having to work excruciating hours and having to build billions of toys for NO pay.
And what really is Santa Claus anyways? Nothing but a whore to corporate America used as a cash cow during the winter season and then tossed aside when he’s all used up. What does one see as soon as November starts? Christmas decorations; for a month that Santa isn’t even present, these greedy slobs that control marketing shove Santa Clause’s image down our throats all November and December long. Anything can be used as an exploit to milk the wallets of those who are in the Christmas spirit, just simply having to slap Santa’s face on any of their products to have them sell. From the biggest companies like Coca-Cola to small companies like everyone’s favorite corner store, Mr. Kriss Kringle is everywhere. For years and years, Santa has been just another white guy the world and children have been brainwashed to look up to. Glorifying him as he plays God judging people as if he is the image of perfection, but in reality, he is nothing but a once-a-year Amazon deliverer.