Domestic violence

• Although the way a person is held in a domestic abuse situation may be different if a person is of different immigration status or has a disability, for example in the case of having different immigration status a person may be prevented from assimilating into the country or learning the language of said country, to stay in control of their partner. Regardless you can find more information on domestic violence for disabled and immigrant victims here (https://www.thehotline.org). The following lists common signs of domestic violence among victims.

Behavioral signs of domestic violence

• Partner makes baseless accusations.

• Tries to control your/someones life ( clothing, friends, financial transactions).

• Person feels more insecure about themselves due to constant criticism by their partners.

• Partner deprives person of basic needs or deprives financial help in obtaining basic needs, such as clothes and food.

• Partner purposefully embarrasses a person in hopes of isolating them from friends/family.

• Person consistently gets medical care when seemingly only being at home.

• Partner gets physically aggravated towards their partner or surroundings.

• Person seems very apologetic, anxious or meek.

Physical signs of domestic violence

• Person has signs of self harm or discusses attempting suicide while in a relationship.

• black eyes.

• bruises.

• broken wrists or ankles.

• Marks on neck or wrists.

Additional sources

• https://www.webmd.com (behavioral signs)

• https://www.verywellmind.com (behavioral and physical signs)

• https://www.helpguide.org (identifying an abusive partner)

HOTLINES

• Call 1-800-799-7233 (National domestic abuse hotline)

• Text LOVEIS to 22522

• Call 1-800-978-3600 (LA county domestic abuse hotline)

• https://www.cpedv.org/los-angeles-region (source to other domestic violence hotlines in the LA region)

• Call 213-626-3393 (For Central LA r*ape and battering Hotline)

• Call 310-392-8381 (For South LA r*ape and battering Hotline)

• Call 626-793-3385 (For West San Gabriel Valley r*pe and battering Hotline)

Donate

During the pandemic of COVID-19 not everyone is safe in their own home and are desperately in need of help. Here are some places where you can donate to help survivors of Domestic violence.

• Donate to https://www.gofundme.com/f/support-victims-of-domestic-violence they help shelter survivors nationally who are in need of a home.

• You can also donate to https://www.gofundme.com/f/safety-fund-for-survivors-of-domestic-violence the donations is given to an organization called FreeFrom. This organization also focuses on sheltering survivors, giving them compensations to help them with medical bills, property damage or any other needs they may have.

• An option is to donate to https://www.thehotline.org/donate/ , the national domestic violence hotline that ensures their is someone ready to help a caller/ texter 24/7.

• https://www.domesticshelters.org/fundraisers/domesticshelters-org/donate#one, an organization that helps donate to a domestic violence shelter across America.

Show up

• If you feel that a loved one or someone you know may be in an abusive relationship, it is important that you assure them they have your support.

• Understand that they are in a difficult situation, believe them, listen to them with a caring heart if and when they are ready to speak about their abuse.

• Do not judge when a person leaves their abusive relationship and later returns, or decides not to leave the relationship. In some cases of domestic violence it is not easy for the victim to escape because they may face threats from their partner.

• If they decide to leave the relationship, it will take time for them to heal. Show your full support during their time of mourning.

• Other ways to support: encouraging them to engage in physical activities, either by themselves or with friends and family, encourage them to talk to a domestic violence counselor.

• You can also help them make a safety plan when they are in a abusive relationship, are planning to leave one, or has already left that relationship. For more information about making a safety plan go to https://www.thehotline.org/help/help-for-friends-and-family/

Be Mindful of your words

When one has experienced hurtful and traumatic experiences it will take them time to heal. It is not your place to tell the person when their time of healing is done. Here are the worst things to say to someone whose trauma has been triggered. Remember healing takes time, even if you think the incident took place a long time ago, the person who was directly affected may think differently.

• "You're overreacting"

• "It happened ages ago, get over it"

• "It's all in your head"

• "Iv'e been through something similar but you don't see me acting like this"

• "people have been through worse"

• "you're just using it as an excuse"

• "you're faking it"

• "it wasn't even life-threatening"

• "you're ungrateful-why cant you focus on the good"

• "you need to move on"

• "you're being negative-there's so much positive and focus on that incident"