Post by Ethan-Pio Ho Cheng Yi (8 August 2020)
Ostracism refers to a group of people ignoring/leaving out someone intentionally/purposely, giving none/little attention to the person being ostracised. It originated from Ancient Greece, when a citizen (who was unpopular/over-powerful) was banished from a city for five or ten years by popular vote.
(Adapted from Magazine Pro Theme)
Ostracism is a type of social exclusion and can hurt anyone - regardless of physique, gender, race or age. More importantly, it affects the psychological part of an individual and cannot be seen from the outside. The hurt inflicted by it also differs from person to person. Therefore, it is of utmost importance to check if you are being ostracised, and know the ways to cope with it tactfully. Here are five ways for you to cope with this problem:-
Take It Seriously
It definitely hurts to be bullied and left out intentionally. However, we should never bottle all these feelings inside us and instead face it head-front. Do take deep breaths and calm yourself down - never transform to be another bully. Think of it in an optimistic way - do you lose anything or gain anything when you are ostracised? Perhaps the person/group is ostracising you because they are jealous of you? Think about the matter in a different light and you would feel much better.
Put yourself in the other side's perspective
Do give this a serious thought - he/she might be ostracising you because he/she was being triggered/provoked by someone else? Perhaps he/she is undergoing a lot of stress? Perhaps he/she needs more praise and comfort than you do. Therefore, while protecting yourself, do try to understand the other party's circumstances and extend your help if necessary.
Stand up for yourself
If things really get too far and you can no longer take it anymore, do stand up and remind the other party of your existence. This might cause the other party to go on a journey of soul searching and change his/her attitude.
Approach a teacher, parent, sibling or school counsellor
If the above methods doesn't work, do talk to someone around you and talk about your troubles. Although he/she might not be able to help you, you would feel much better to move on in life.
Connect with yourself
This is the last resort - if you find that you can't reconnect, focus on the moment when you felt most loved. From there, relate to yourself as you would to a best friend. This is a way to self-help and do find meaningful things to focus on in life. Stop thinking about the ostracism and you would be much better :)
(Adapted from Psychology Today)
To conclude, being ostracised does not mean the end of your life. Instead, finding out ways to work around this problem is crucial to your life, and might help you to enrich and empower your life. To know more about stress, stay tuned and do visit our website regularly for more updates! :)