I started this project with a clear idea of what I wanted to do for my FMP, however, I was not quite sure on how to execute it. My concept is to create a psychological short film revolving around the 5 stages of grief. It would involve one person undergoing each stage after blaming themselves for the death of someone close to them in a car crash. All this would happen as they face their sociopathic inner conscience or inner voice. This conscience would create issues for the character as they mock them about the car crash and further escalates their guilt and emotions throughout each stage.

This week, I had to complete my proposal for my project, in which I completed it fairly quickly as I had already done most of it the weekend before. Along with this, I began to research the 5 stages of grief and finished it later on in the week. As I did this, I had another document open where I would paste every link I used for the research. So when it comes to the bibliography, I can find each link quickly and Harvard Reference it without the hassle of having to remember each site I used.

Throughout this week, I carried out my research on the 5 Stages of Grief and Sociopathic behaviours. While writing, whenever I used a website, I put the link of it in a “Link Disposal” document. This helped massively when forming the Harvard referencing as I had a place where I had all the links rather than having to try and find the links as I went on, therefore making it a much longer process.

Straight after, I began working on my script. Creating a brief story plan the week before really helped as I could refer over to it so I knew what was going to happen next and how I would write it. With the script, I think over the course of the next few weeks, I will try and improve it before my main filming date. One thing I'd do differently is going into more detail when writing the story plan, just so when it comes to writing the script, I can clearly and quickly decide how I'd transition from scene to scene as well as how long each stage will go on for.

After I completed the script, I started creating a storyboard and an excel shot list to accompany it. In terms of the storyboard, I feel that some of my drawings could have been a bit clearer to show the background and the approximate camera positions. Next time, I have to sort out my location before I start to create the storyboard because the location I had in mind and based the background on - Downley Memorial Hall -wasn't available to book or some terms and conditions just didn’t suit what I wanted to do. 

Continuing on the location, the 2nd choice was Downley Community Centre, which ended up being problematic because I was not able to see bookings per day in April but rather for the whole Spring. On this timetable, there was no suitable time I would be able to film so I had to try somewhere else. My mum suggested a place called St James’ Church Hall, which looking into it more, turned out to look suitable enough for filming as it could capture a creepy atmosphere. We proceeded to try to book here and as of the 2nd, I am confident that we would be able to book it for Thursday 13th April, during the half-term. When researching locations, I should have looked more in-depth with the initial planned places such as the terms and conditions, in addition to trying to research a much broader area and places, just so I have “back-ups” in case something like this happens again.

I spent this week preparing for my filming date. This meant that I was making sure that every document was ready and clear to read so that on filming day, it would go smoothly and I am able to produce something that fits my initial vision. 

I can't express how disappointed and frustrated I am. This week has become a total nightmare, to the point where I feel it has jeopardised all the hard work I have done throughout the whole project.

As it was the week of filming (Thursday 13th) a lot of time beforehand was making sure I had everything ready and planned so filming would go as perfect as possible. At this stage, I was incredibly confident that I would be able to produce near exactly what I had envisioned in my story and characters.

Unfortunately Wednesday is where it all started to go downhill. I asked Ben on Tuesday if I can collect the camera equipment tomorrow and got a "yes" in a reply. Then on Wednesday, I asked again about what time I should pick it up, to which he said that he is out all day so I wasn't able to collect the equipment. This was majorly frustrating as I was now unable to check the equipment and make sure its alright for filming. 

On top of that, as he was also coming over to help, I asked whether he could make it for 10 (the time I booked the hall out for), but he could only make it for 11, therefore wasting an hour of booking, limiting the time and roughly £10 down the drain. I will take some responsibility for this issue as I feel my communication was lacking and I feel like I should have made clearer and earlier the specifics of the filming date.

Continuing on, the day was made severely worse when my main actor pulled out at 9pm due to a family emergency. This led to me having to scramble to get replacements until I had Ben and Lewis helping, with Ben acting. This was finalised at around half 11 at night. In all honesty, the 2 hours were incredibly tough for me, I was stressed and at one point broke down due to the pressure of it all. The idea that everything I worked and planned for had collapsed in a matter of hours, hurt me very badly. Every bit of confidence I once had going into Thursday had drained. However, on the positive side, the fact that Lewis and Ben were able to help at the last minute is something I have to be massively thankful for. 

I'm not too sure what else I could have done if I were to do this again, I had everything prepared in depth, only for it all to fall apart the day prior.

Now onto the day of filming, I wasn't able to get much sleep due to stressing out about the situation. Upon arriving at the location, it started off surprisingly well and when entering, it fit my vision of the film well and I began to get my hopes up. But soon led to me having to wait an hour before doing anything due to having no equipment nor helpers. 

Once everything arrived, I found out that we had the only camera given out to have no charging cable packed with it. So therefore there is another bit of unnecessary stress that has been put on me due to the fear of it running out of charge before we had completed filming. 

When we started filming, I realised that Ben is not that strong of an actor and we would have to do many takes before we were able to get one where it was somewhat usable. However I knew I couldn't be too hard on him due to his dyslexia, so I had to be patient and use what I could. This was of course made harder by him seeing the script for the first time.

Adding to this, throughout filming the batteries for the lights kept running out, to the point where I was left with two lights as 4 out of 6 had run out. This obviously led to differences in the lighting in the shots. On top of this, one of the lights would keep flickering everytime we moved it and quickly became quite annoying having to keep adjusting it so it worked. 

Additionally, the battery icon on the camera was running out and labelled as having 1 minute remaining for over an hour. This again caused me a ton of unnecessary stress as I was trying to rush through and get shots, where in hindsight, I could have taken more time with them. 

And lastly in terms of things going wrong, due to the waste of one hour, it meant i had less time to film. In the end I ended up having to cut a few scenes as we were getting very close to the 2pm deadline. And yet again, this caused me a lot of stress.

Overall, this week in my eyes could not have gone much worse. It hurts me so much to experience everything that has happened. From being so prepared and ready for this shoot for weeks, making sure every bit of paperwork is completed to the best of my ability, only it to fall apart in hours. I try to think of ways on how I would approach it differently but I honestly don't know. I'm so passionate about this course and filmmaking in general and because of this I want to push myself. This film is supposed to be a showcase on my skills and everything I have learned over the past year, and I just feel like I wasn't able to show any of that due to problems out of my control. And on top of that I am extremely confident that what I have written and proposed is something great and to see it become this, is genuinely tough to me.

However despite all this, I am determined to salvage something out of this and create something that I can be proud of considering all the circumstances that I have faced. And through the next month before the deadline make sure that every bit of paperwork is completed to the best of my ability.

After the events of last Thursday, I took a few days off working on the project due to me feeling a little demotivated. That meant that this week, I didn't do too much. Over the week however, it gave me time to reflect on the past week and how/what I wanted to do moving on. I was pondering whether to stick with the footage I have and make sure I have enough time to fully edit and go over it, knowing that I will most likely be disappointed by the end result. Or whether I reshoot the whole thing again at a later date, therefore giving me less time in post-production. 

It also gave me time to reflect on what actually went wrong in the lead up to Thursday and how I could have done better. A few things were not checking the equipment when initially booking it out and underestimating how long filming takes so not booking the hall for long enough. As well as not always sticking to my shot plan, which in hindsight, did affect the shots a lot.

In the end, I decided to attempt reshooting it with my original plan with the actor, but this time take in everything that I could have done better in account and mitigate what had gone wrong before. I booked out St James’ Church Hall for 6 hours, compared to the 4 I had before (3 used) and when booking out the equipment, I'll make sure I check it so that there won't be any problems when it comes down to filming.

In hindsight, having that few day break enormously helped me in developing this project. It helped me reflect on what had happened the previous Thursday and helped me plan out what I aim to do in the next month. One of the only downsides of this, is that upon the deadline, it could be a lot of time wasted and instead could have been used to work on the film more. In the future, I think I would need to make these decisions much quicker.

At the halfway point of the project, I feel slightly more confident than I was a week or two ago. Everything to do with pre-production went smoothly and meant that I felt prepared for shooting the film. I was able to complete my script and shot list to a degree where I felt confident in the filming going well and producing something near exact to my developed idea. 

My idea at first was, in my opinion, vague and simple. Over time as I underwent my research on the 5 stages of grief and sociopathic behaviours , I realised that what I wanted to do had to be a lot more complex and thought provoking to fit with the overall dark, depressing tone to the film. I used this and implemented it into writing the script and drawing up the storyboard. Within this, I had to make sure that I use manipulative and mentally violent language as well as particular camera angles/ shots to really portray the dynamics between the two characters. At this point, I am happy with my idea but also understand that it may have to be altered depending on the results of the reshoot. 

In terms of production/the first shoot, as mentioned before, went horribly wrong and dramatically changed how I viewed my project. It near destroyed my confidence and I started to view the idea in a negative light. However, by having that few days break, it allowed me to really think about the situation and move on to how I can recover it and make it better. 

By deciding to reshoot it, it allows me to mitigate any of the problems that had occurred previously and use that bad experience to develop the production and in return, hopefully improve the quality of the final film. 

On Friday, I woke up with a message from my actor saying that he would not be able to make it again. This initially made me more frustrated and disappointed but unlike last time it gave me a few days to try and get a replacement in. Luckily I was able to get Max and Reign to help me on the 1st. 

Until then, throughout this week I was concentrating on updating my pre-production documents in a way so upon recording I would not make similar mistakes to what I had done previously.

This week, I conducted my reshoot and it went a lot better than the previous time. I was able to use some of the mistakes from last time and improve on it. Having more time allowed me to take more time on the shots and make sure that I had multiple takes of a scene from different angles. In terms of pre-production, I was much more prepared and edited my script and shot lists to be coloured to signify the different characters, enabling it to be clearer and allowed me to organise filming easier. 

My biggest mistake was to do with the split-screen scenes. What I did was film the Man’s scenes on the table etc last, then move on to the Conscience scenes and filmed their split-screen scenes last. In doing this, it meant that the shots weren’t lined up and would end up making it impossible to match them together, leading me to decide to scrap the scenes. This is particularly frustrating as part of my idea was to use split screens to showcase the change in development between the characters.

Before editing, I completed my recording log and graded the clips based on the description, audio and overall. One thing that went somewhat wrong is that on some clips, the audio didn’t play loudly when viewed on VLC Media Player unlike normal when on premiere pro.

I began to edit my video and discovered that the audio would only play out of the left speaker, however this was easily fixed by an effect that copies the audio onto the other speaker. 

Having two different angles for the dialogue helped massively as it allowed more flexibility with the visuals instead of boring still shots the whole way through. They also create a sense of dynamic, something which I didn't plan for this, which helped cover the loss in dynamic shots through the split screen.

I edited throughout this week. I finished structuring the film early on, so most to do was colour grading. I chose to use a colder colour scheme to create an uncomfortable atmosphere mirroring the seriousness of the film and characters. I used Youtube videos to help me get used to the workspace and understand the elements that go into colour grading a film. Using these, I managed to slowly get used to the progress and attempted to match each shot with each other. I aimed for a dark, eerie look to the film and feel like I have managed to get that effect. Most of this was achieved through the shadow and highlight effects. Decreasing both, increased the shadows and darkened the environment, so I adjusted this for every clip to make the shot reflect the emotion and events going throughout the film. 

In the meantime, at college I used that time to finish and improve some of the research and other documents I had. This would benefit me in the sense that it makes my research much clearer and made sure I hadn’t left any important bits of research out. This included starting to write my evaluation.

As the final week in the project, I had to make sure that everything is complete and up to date before handing the project in. All I had left to complete was the final edit of the film, my evaluation and getting feedback from friends and family. 

I began by finishing the final edit and exporting it out to send off for feedback. Upon exporting I encountered a problem as the colours felt washed out and the colour temperature didn’t have the same effect as it did in the preview. After doing a bit of research I found that I needed to install a Gamma correction LUT onto Premiere. I did so but found that it darkened the film and made some scenes and the shadows very dark, so I ended up having to stick with the original export.

While working on my evaluation, I created a feedback form and sent it out to friends and family for them to respond to the film about. Once receiving feedback, I spoke about it in my evaluation and finished it. Meaning that everything had been completed. 

Overall, I am proud of the work I have done over the course of the last few months. The final film obviously isn’t perfect but through the experiences and feedback I’ve gotten, I can understand ways in how I can improve upon it and develop my filmmaking knowledge and skills in future projects.