A few notes before we begin:
1. What you are about to read is an opinionated yap, not a formal article. (This is basically just a blog post scattered with my [Sarah Crittenden's] personal commentary on what y’all said)
2. You will get to hear many of your peers’ and teachers’ “shower thoughts,” perspectives, and stances regarding some controversial topics; ex: does the milk or cereal go first? The inner workings of your fellow lads’ mortal minds may shock or muddle you. Be warned!
3. Everyone in this very reliable and totally unbiased piece of journalism will be named. This is to provide you with an opportunity to confer with each person about their somewhat mediocre and somewhat true opinions! (It’s also good to socialize! Talk to someone new!) But please proceed cautiously, as reading this article (and socializing) may be too much of a new and enlightening experience.
4. The opinions I received have been separated into three categories. “A lot of people at STU would probably agree if we just talked about it,” “Unpopular but understandable,” and “Uhhh”
4.5. Opinions are underlined :3
5. All of the opinions I didn’t get to cover are listed at the bottom of each section I would categorize them in (Anyone who submitted more than one may not have all of them included).
6. I wish you luck on your journey of consuming the somewhat comprehensible piece of art I have written and thank you for (presumably) reading this far.
A LOT OF PEOPLE AT STU WOULD PROBABLY AGREE IF WE JUST TALKED ABOUT IT:
Some opinions can only be appreciated by the realest of people, including these next few. “Listening to underground music artists does not make u better than everyone else (mainstream artists are popular for a reason),” states Libby G. As an avid Swiftie, I agree. It’s cool to like the music you like and not be hated on for it. The culture of hating popular things for no reason is lowkey not cool. To go with that, Lila S. says that, “Being a girly girl is fun.” I mean, how many people here don’t like to dress up, look their best, and maybe even obsess over skincare every once in a while? Is hygiene and moisturizing really something we should be hating on? Also, we’re told quite often that social media is just brain-rot material that fuels our want to be perfect and look perfect and moisturize, which CAN FULLY BE TRUE sometimes. But it can also open our eyes. I’m sure Lila isn’t the only person to think that, “Social media is more helpful than most adults say it is.” It’s a way to connect and learn about global concerns in a way that’s designed for people our age. It provides us with new knowledge and understanding of the world, even if we have to obtain this information by watching 30-second videos of some dude doing Minecraft parkour.
Moving on to possibly less controversial topics, Mrs. Layne thinks that, “Not all babies are cute.” Ok, it’s still kinda controversial but honestly, though, some babies are cute and others can be a little crusty. You know what else can be a little crusty? Mayonnaise. It’s just weird because you’re not sure what it’s supposed to taste like. Bug R. disagrees with me because they, “Think mayonnaise is good.” I can see that, but I’m just not a mayo person. It looks too much like a Chick-fil-A frosty which gives me a false sense of glee. A lot of people may not be so gleeful when they see a Chick-fil-A frosty, however many people, including Mrs. Bartley, think, “Chick-fil-A is overrated. It's not that good. And it's expensive.” As much as I looooveeee me some good Chick-fil-A ice cream, this is fully understandable and at least a little true. Arguably the best thing from Chick-fil-A is their chicken nuggets, which can also be distasteful at times. I mean, “Almost all meats are disgusting when you really think about what you are eating,” says Lila, along with probably a good chunk of the STUdent body.
LEFTOVER OPINIONS FROM THIS SECTION: “The beach is only kinda fun." "The best part of a brownie is the corner piece." "E-books will never compare to prints." "Not everything is an ‘era’." "Retail therapy is extremely real." "The age requirement to run for president is too high.”
-Lila S.
UNPOPULAR BUT UNDERSTANDABLE:
Ms. Parisi thinks that, “Ketchup is overrated.” I personally agree because it’s essentially just sweetened and beat-up tomato. It’s just weird pizza or spaghetti sauce, which makes it even more disagreeable, especially for people who don’t like pasta or pizza. Lila says that, “Pizza is overrated,” which I think is partially true. Some really good pizza is worth it, but most pizza is just a throwback to 6 year old’s birthday parties and Chuck E. Cheese. Almost anywhere you might smell pizza is somewhere you would smell some other and nastier scents too. Speaking of nasty scents, Lucy G. doesn’t like the new car smell. What even is the new car smell? I think that it differs from car to car, and factors such as leather vs. cloth seating can change it. Generally, it’s just the smell of manufactured metal and Henry Ford’s assembly line legacy.
I wasn’t sure how to segue that into this next thought, so I’m just not going to. Libby says that “Handwriting is better than typing.” This is definitely a controversial statement. In a few different ways, handwriting can be more helpful. The process of actually writing down each letter makes whatever you’re writing stick more in your brain and engages your fine motor skills. Handwriting can also be aesthetic and maincharacteresque, so that’s cool too. With those things noted, I think typing can be more helpful in a fast-paced setting. It is quicker because it doesn't require time to sharpen pencils, get new paper, or struggle to find your eraser. It can look cleaner too, especially in instances where you can simply delete instead of leaving eraser marks and smudges all over your paper. I also didn’t know how to lead from that into this, but Izzy Snyder thinks that, “Weezer is amazing and everyone should listen to them.” I actually have no comment on that. No comment.
LEFTOVER OPINIONS FROM THIS SECTION: “Ranch dressing is disgusting." "Bread with oil is the worst thing on planet Earth." "Pretzels are better than potato chips." "Living in Los Angeles is EXTREMELY overrated." "Lactose free milk is better than regular milk." "Low rise jeans are super cute.” -Lila S.
“Drunk elephant is the worst brand.” -Izzy S.
“The cookie is the best part of an Oreo, Pancakes are better than waffles.” -Libby G.
UHHH
These are the opinions that are kinda funky. Brain scratchers. They provide the community with awareness of who pours the milk before the cereal. They make everyone wonder how you even got to the conclusion that you got to. They may be politically correct, but they’re just weird. To prove that, we’ll start with Ms. Parisi, who says that, “Cottage cheese is essentially just a thick cheese cereal.” Ok I’m not saying that she’s wrong, but I am saying that that is an...interesting way to look at the world. By her standards, what isn’t cereal? Are we all truly just cereal? Ms. Parisi, you’ve confused my soggy brain. I think I only know one other person who may view the world like you do, and that is Izzy Valenzuela. She says that, “Milk goes before the cereal.” She’s got everyone going “WHAT” too. What if you pour too much milk in and now the milk to cereal ratio is thrown off because you have to pour eight cups of cereal for it to be proportionate to the amount of milk? What if all of your cereal sloshes all of your milk around and you make a huge mess? Some things aren’t supposed to be messy. Ahem, JULIET.
Our dear Stuart Hall citizen, Juliet R. says, “The best thing to put on fries is applesauce.” Not only is that a physical mess, but also just a theoretical mess. I mean, in how many situations are you going to have fries and applesauce available at the same time? That combo is crazy. If I needed a crazy food combo, I would just ask Izzy S. or Mr. Arnold for suggestions. Izzy thinks that, “Rice and mayo is delicious,” and Mr. Arnold asserts that, “Peanut butter sandwiches go better with tomato soup than grilled cheese.” I don’t want to judge, but I just want to know how you got to those conclusions.
I again don’t know how to segue this, so Lila says that hamsters are better than cats and dogs. The main reason I can’t agree with this is that I don’t know anyone who has had a hamster die of natural causes. It feels like a lot of kids could live without the trauma of knowing their furry friend accidentally got flushed down the toilet.
EDITOR'S NOTE: If you would like more of this kind of article, please tell us. Please. Pleading face emoji. If you have ANY ideas at all, tell us please.
Sarah Crittenden