Sailboats

Why does everyone get things from the people I love but me? I pour my

heart and soul into a page, 

With no sense of relief, 

Cause the second my pencil, 

Lifts from my tear soaked paper, 

I look to see my own loneliness staring back at me, 

Late night and rambling thoughts, 

With no breath in between, 

No one to lean on. 

Not even myself, 

Cause if I don’t know who I am without someone else telling me, Then who am I at all? 

Unanswered questions? 

An embodiment of what-if? 

A vessel of worry? 

Perhaps I’m a sail boat, 

Just made of twined and tied together driftwood, 

On a lake, 

Waiting for a wind, 

A push,

A friend. 

Something to cast me toward shore 

I’m surrounded my water, 

Yet I’m the most thirsty I’ve been, 

Thirsty for love, 

Thirsty for care, 

Thirsty for everything that is and yet isn’t there. 

My head is a maze that no one cared to go through, They’ll burrow and

butcher holes in the side just to get out, Just to get away, 

Yet I’m stuck. 

Even now my thoughtless, 

Yet thoughtful fragments of passing by wonder Scamper across through words and lines, 

They carry no meaning, 

Yet they raise flags of caution, 

Though I know no one will bother to notice,

I’m begging for understanding, 

But wish to remain misunderstood,

I find beauty in my confusion, 

Yet scream when I’m confused. 

I want someone to read me, 

And rip out their favorite pages, 

Yet after everyone’s had their share, 

I’m a spine with nothing to hold together. 

And when I’m full of nothing, 

There’s nothing to find, 

And when a book is pageless, 

There’s nothing to bind, 

And if I’m not even a story or something to be told, How can I 

be anything that someone would hold? 

So I give to you what I have left, 

A boat, a book, and a body. 

I’ll always be a nothing, 

Yearning and waiting for something, 

Yet something is a someone, 

That I’m afraid I’ll never find.

Kenna McDonie is a 9th grader in the Literary Arts program at SCAPA. She enjoys music, concerts, and obviously poetry. The main themes that Kenna likes to explore within her writing is nostalgia and mental health mixed in with some horror stories as a sidequest.