"For me the biggest struggle of my social media experience has been FOMO. Like many of us, I've had my fair share of friendship issues throughout high school. There has been many times when I have sat at home on weekends and watched my friends through my screen at a sleepover together and knowing that I'm the only one not invited. Then, coming to school the next day and having to listen to inside jokes and funny stories from the night before.

Whether the intentions were innocent or not, this had a big impact on my mental health. I felt isolated and alone at school. It really knocked down my self confidence and it took me a while to learn that this wasn't my fault and that you shouldn't have to change yourself in order for others to 'accept' you.

So if this is you or your child, what can you do? Well for me, talking to my parents and my siblings helped me to get things off my chest and knowing that I was surrounded by people I could trust made me feel more supported. Also, as hard as it was, I challenged myself to not stop doing the things that I love just because others thought it wasn't "cool".

If you want to join the choir, then join the choir. If you want to go to club meetings, then go. It's important to know that when people make a nasty comment to you or put you down for doing something you love, it's a reflection upon them, not you.

You also have to consider that if people are doing this to me, are they really my friends? You deserve to be treated with kindness, so surround yourself with people who appreciate who you are and genuinely care about your wellbeing. I know that changing friendship groups is a scary thing to do and sometimes it seems like the end of the world, but it's the right thing to do for you and for your happiness.

You might be thinking, "but I have no where else to go?" but there are other places. You're not alone!! Remember you can always talk to the Kulilla staff, teachers and me if you ever need more support.

So my biggest advice for someone who is going through similar things that I have gone through, is stay true to yourself and don't let other people make you feel bad about who you are or the things you love. "

"Whilst social media creates many opportunities for teenagers and people around the world to express themselves and connect with one another, it also presents a dangerous space, where if not moderated and filtered can become overwhelming.

My experience with social media is generally a positive one, however I often find myself in a cycle of continuously scrolling on TikTok and forgetting about the world around me, and I think it's important to recognise those patterns.

It's crucial to regulate the time spent on social media because one minute it's 4:05 in the afternoon, and the next, your parents are yelling out “dinners ready”! It can be quite scary how fast the time goes by when you're caught up on your phone. I find it equally as important to balance who and what posts you are seeing, and that's the advice I would give to young people using social media. To follow accounts that are not only reliable, but that inspire & advocate for the people and earth around us. That way while perhaps separating ourselves from reality on social media, we are still motivated by and reminded of the good in the world."

“My past experiences with social media were negative majority of the time. In my younger years of high school I was introduced to the negatives of social media, such as cyberbullying, and body image issues.

As little Year 7 Ebony, I would scroll through Instagram feeds, and would constantly see models posting photos, where at the time I thought this is what I needed to achieve. During this time I gained a negative sense of self and body image. As a young teen, it took me a while to realise the unrealistic standards that are proposed by social media, but in time I realised that I didn't need to look like the model that probably spends 10-12hrs editing her photos. Looking back at these experiences now the advice that I would give my Year 7 self is to keep in mind that photos on Instagram are fake and should not be seen as a true reflection of reality, I would encourage the girls to limit their time on social media and to find a sense of self elsewhere, because you are beautiful no matter what you look like, and comparing yourself to others on social media will only make you feel less about yourself. The only person you need to measure yourself against is YOU.

In regards to cyberbullying on social media, it is not something that can really be avoided in the society we live in today, but it is something that you should never tolerate. By not letting someone know, then you are letting these people get away with it. They really need to know that what they are doing is not right. I found that by Year 8 it was no longer an issue that I had to deal with on social media. But one of the best ways to deal with it is to talk to someone about it. I would always recommend students to talk to friends, captains, and coordinators but especially KC. I know that as parents in the situation of cyberbullying you would probably advise your child to stay away from social media and their phones, which may sound easy but in reality, it is actually a really difficult thing to do. So I would just suggest giving your daughter a safe environment where they can talk to you about the struggles that they are dealing with. 💗”

“I have learned many very important lessons about social media the hard way and hopefully sharing my experience will teach you these very important lessons the easy way!

Lesson One: Keep your location private to yourself and people you know

Social media is a wonderful way to interact with people you wouldn't normally meet in person (assuming you know they at least exist and aren't a random 40-year-old man living in his parent's basement). I have made so many close friends who I talk to every day on social media. These friends may be from different schools or even different parts of the country who have been involved in the same programs as I have.

I was once talking to someone I knew through my friends at school. They seemed very nice and funny and I was enjoying talking to them everyday on social media. However, one night this person asked me to do something quite absurd. I politely declined and in response I received a screenshot of my location (my home address) and a threatening message. I wasn't aware my location was available to this person and as a fourteen year old girl (at the time) I ran to my mum petrified.

A situation like this is easily preventable. I encourage parents to assist their daughters to be mindful of what personal information is being shared on social media.

Lesson Two: Tell a trusted adult if someone has reached out to you

Adolescence is a very difficult time for many girls and is often accompanied by very strong emotions. I know the lovely girls of St Mary's girls are filled with compassion and will always try to help their friends through these tough times, which is such a wonderful thing.

However, it is important to recognise when too much pressure and responsibility is being placed on your daughters.

In Year 9 I was talking to a friend on social media who was struggling with their mental health. Every night I would try to help my friend through her tough situations. One night this friend told me she was considering ending her life. This put an immense level of pressure and concern on my shoulders and the next morning I came into school crying. Thankfully, the teacher I was with first period asked me to go to Kulilla. This allowed me to open up about the situation to a trusted adult who was able to help my friend in a professional way.

My friend received the help and support they required and I was reassured that serious situations where someone has reached out to me are not solely my responsibility.

I would encourage the girls of St Mary's to recognise when to make a trusted adult aware of a friend's mental health, to not only help the struggling friend, but also the girl who has reached out, getthe support they need.

Well, there are my two lessons that will hopefully keep you lovely girls safe! Social media can be a really wonderful and empowering platform for interaction and education if it is used correctly and safely. Stay safe girls! 💕💕"

Here is a video interview of social media experiences from a few Year 12 students.

https://youtu.be/l_Ec3-CJQcc

Ever wondered what your teen really wants you to know about social media and wants you to teach them? Well, here it is. A brilliant and insightful piece by one of our Youth Advisory members. - Gigi, 17yrs.