Growing up, blessings were a daily and integral part of my family life. In line with a long standing custom from Latin America, my mother would bless us every night before we went to bed, as well as on significant moments, such as on the first day of a new school year. On these occasions, my siblings and I would line up, and one by one she would give us the traditional blessing, composed of five crosses. First, she would align the fingers of her right hand to make a cross. Then, with that cross made by her fingers, she would trace a cross on our forehead, followed by the second and third crosses on our lips, and our hearts. The fourth cross was traced over us, just as we normally would do when making the sign of the cross. And the fifth and final cross would be the one made by her fingers which she would hold up in front of our lips, for us to reverently kiss. 

As children, the meaning of these blessings were clear. We never saw our mother as someone usurping the role of the priest who would bless us at Mass. This was a different type of blessing. It was a constant reminder that God walks with us every day of our lives, both in the mundane and extraordinary occasions that life often brings. And it didn’t matter how well behaved we were, or how impious we may have been earlier in the day, we got the nightly blessing nonetheless, not as an approval of how our day went, but rather as an acknowledgement of our need for God’s aid for the following day.

Regrettably, once my siblings and I entered adolescence, we became more rebellious of some of my family’s traditions, including our daily blessings. As they became infrequent, we naturally lost a sense for the grace they imparted. But, after many years, at the age of 25, the beauty of this tradition came flooding back to me. I was visiting my parents on what would’ve been the last time I would see them before I was to be ordained a priest. As I stood up to take leave of my parents, my mother made the shape of the cross with her fingers, and once again blessed me, as she had done countless times before, but this time adding at the end, “now, you belong to God.” 

On December 18, the Vatican issued a Declaration, titled, Fiducia Supplicans, on the pastoral meaning of blessings. In this Declaration, a distinction has been made between two types of blessings: sacramental or liturgical blessings, and pastoral or spontaneous blessings. This distinction makes the case that, while maintaining the church’s doctrine on marriage, which is ritually celebrated through sacramental or liturgical blessings, the expanded understanding of pastoral or spontaneous blessings made by Fiducia Supplicans would, under specific and quite restrictive circumstances, allow for the blessing of same sex couples, and what the church calls “couples in irregular situations,” i.e. divorced and remarried couples. Such an allowance recognizes the need that all people of faith have for accompaniment, help, and grace from God and the church, without the endorsement of any human activity not in accordance with church teaching.

While the Declaration is not lengthy, or difficult to read, it does take at least two if not three readings to fully understand the philosophical and theological arguments being made. I would encourage everyone to read the Declaration for themselves. It can be found here:

 https://press.vatican.va/content/salastampa/it/bollettino/pubblico/2023/12/18/0901/01963.html#en  

Unfortunately, what has been inaccurately reported in both the secular and religious media has been that Pope Francis had authorized a change in the church’s doctrine on marriage. A thorough reading of the Declaration though reveals various affirmations of the church’s teaching on marriage.

So, what will this mean practically for Saint Andrew Parish, as well as most Catholic parishes? In essence it will mean a lot, as well as not much. There will be no discernible changes at our parish, as the Declaration does not allow for any public, or liturgical blessing of same sex couples, or couples in irregular situations. So, in that sense, not much will change. But, much will change for the aforementioned couples who may request a blessing after Mass, or within the context of a pastoral consultation in the rectory. Beforehand, this simply was not allowed. Following Saint Andrew Parish’s consistent mission of inclusion, where “all are welcome,” when requested, I will grant such a blessing, according to the norms prescribed in Fiducia Supplicans. This will mean a lot to same sex couples as well as couples in irregular situations, who will ask for such blessings, after so often finding themselves on the church’s peripheries. 

Although not intentional, much of the language used in the church’s teaching on homosexual persons, gay marriage, and divorce, by modern language standards,  may come across as harsh and offensive. Add to that incomplete and inaccurate representations of church teaching on these issues, by clergy and laity alike, and the injuries are all the more painful. Worse still is the morally unacceptable justification some people misconstrue from church teaching and scripture to judge, discriminate, bully, persecute, harm and even murder members of the LGBTQ community. Such behavior is wrong. It is sinful. In retrospect, this Declaration is a significant, albeit small step. For some members of the LGBTQ community and their families, this may be a welcome development. For others, it may not go far enough. And for some, no doubt, it may go too far. Much understanding, empathy, and love will be required of us all as we grow into this new reality, and earnestly endeavor to remain faithful to where the Holy Spirit is leading us.

This weekend, the Church celebrates the Solemnity of the Epiphany of the Lord, or what is commonly referred to as “Three Kings Day.” The Epiphany of the Lord is the celebration and recognition that Christ came to bring light to all the nations, and not just the people of Israel. All the readings and the psalm for this weekend repeat this theme. And in the persons of the Magi (the three kings) not only does God come to us, but they go to Jesus, as they follow the star’s movements. The Magi are gentiles, or non-members of the Jewish faith. At no point in the story were they barred from encountering the Christ child because they were not Jewish. No questions were asked of them to ascertain their “worthiness” of such a divine encounter. Rather, in the story of the Magi, we find a God who is open to all, and willing to receive all who desire to search him out.

This divine mutual search occurs all the time at our parish as people endeavor to live good and holy lives. None of us is perfect, including myself. And all of us, including me, are in need of God’s help. As such, none of us, of our own merit, is worthy of God’s grace. But, all of us, regardless of who we are, or how we live our lives, are welcome to experience God’s infinite love. No one is excluded. We ALL belong to God!

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