Dear Parents

Sunday 10 May was “Mother’s day”, a very different one spent under level 4 lockdown. Usually the Saturday before is a day filled with laughter, chatter and pampering in each of the beautifully decorated preschool classrooms, as the girls massage their moms, give them manicures, make jewelry, ice and decorate biscuits and generally enjoy a “girly” day together. I hope that all our moms and grandmothers enjoyed the day despite the restrictions. I found it very difficult not seeing my daughter and granddaughter and I am sure there are many grannies missing their families immensely, as well as parents and staff who have children and other family members overseas or in different provinces under lockdown, causing heart ache and anxiety. We hope that the slide show that the Preschool staff put together for you, helped to cheer you up and lift your spirits.

We all initiated daily ”Google Meets” with our learners last week, and love seeing their happy, excited faces and hearing them eagerly tell their news and show each other what they have been doing. We have even had some invitations to “virtual” birthday parties. How amazing modern technology is and how well these young girls have adapted to it. We are so proud of them and how well they are coping with staying home and being isolated from their friends for so long.

Attached please find photos of the Nursery and Pre-Reception girls learning about “opposites” and the Reception girls learning about “transport”.

My favourite photo is of Ashley in Mrs Jonas’s class getting a “hands on” lesson on the parts of a car.

DIANE VILJOEN

Head of Preschool

Dear Springfield Families,

Despite our best efforts at calm, peaceful parenting during this time,every now and then we are bound to lose our cool. Afterwards we feel horrible, guilt washing over us, knowing that this is not how we want to parent. Feeling awful after yelling at our kids doesn’t need to leave us feeling like a failure. It’s actually a reminder that we are not the perfect parent - none of us. We are all learning as we go forward in lockdown. Imperfecfamilies.com provides some useful tips on restoring the balance after losing your cool:

HELP! I’M FEELING GUILTY FOR YELLING AT MY CHILD!

Here are 5 things to do after you yell at your kids.

1. Breathe: When you were angry, your body was in survival mode – your heart rate was up, your breathing was shallow, your muscles were tense and your thinking was not clear. Get your brain and your body back on track with a few deep breaths. Do not say or do anything else until you have taken at least 4 really good breaths.

2. Watch for the Re-Trigger: Your kids might not be ready to give up the fight. It’s easy to get worked up over the same issue again. Instead, remind yourself that you are only in charge of your own actions and that you’re modeling self-control (even if you blew it a few minutes ago). Find a mantra to keep you focused.

3. Take Responsibility (no BUTS!): It doesn’t matter who started it. Teach your children how to take responsibility without shifting the blame to someone else. You can do this out-loud by saying, “Wow, I’m so sorry, I really let my anger get out of control!” Keep the focus on you, don’t add: “…but you shouldn’t” or “…but you know better.” It’s healthy to let your children know that you too have needs and that they need to respect your boundaries - ask them for suggestions about how they can respect your needs.

4. Give Yourself a Do-Over: Give yourself the chance to handle the situation differently by offering a “do-over.” Say, “Ok, I’m going to try that again without the yelling” or “I was so angry earlier that I don’t think I heard what you were trying to say.” If you start to feel angry again, let it go. Take a break and try again later.

5. Repair the Relationship: If hurtful words were said, harsh punishments were given or physical aggression occurred, your children may feel disconnected from you. Set the situation aside temporarily, wait on giving consequences and focus instead on repairing the relationship with your kids. Click Here for some tips.

HERE ARE 2 MORE THINGS TO CONSIDER AFTER YOU YELL AT YOUR KIDS:

6. Find the Trigger: Instead of pushing this aside and forgetting it ever happened, give yourself time to think about the situation once you’re calm. What pushed your buttons? Was it a word or phrase your child used? Did you feel ? See if you can find a pattern or certain things that “trigger” you to respond with anger.

7. Is this a Pattern? Do you find yourself getting angry often? Do you struggle with swinging between a calm mom and an angry mom? If you feel like you are stuck in an unhealthy pattern of anger, it might be time to get some outside help. Seek the support of a therapist or open up to a trusted friend about your struggle. Do not go through this alone. Admitting that you struggle with anger doesn’t mean you are a bad parent, it means that you have enough guts to take a look at yourself and admit that things need to change.

Stay strong, stay sane, stay patient - and a big hug from me to your girls,

Warm regards

GABBY CLOETE

Junior School Counsellor