Lia Byrd

For Granted

Women, the most important vessel to ever walk this earth. We carry the life that breathes on this planet, and yet are the most disrespected and belittled. It is the year 2055, and although we have nice cars that can hover and fly, updated and modernized technology, the state of the way we as humans are treated, has taken several steps back into the past. But all of that is soon to change, because you can never truly understand how important people and things are, until they are all gone…

I promised myself I wouldn’t allow this to happen to me again. “He has one more time to put his hands on me, and I’m done for good.” This is the typical speech I give myself while the tears flow down my face, the ice pack soothes my bruises, and the blood drips down from my chin. I always find myself in this infinite pattern of fighting, crying, and going back. But it seems like every time I’m about ready to leave, he screams “PLEASE DON’T GO”, “BABY I’M SORRY”, “WHAT ABOUT THE NEW CAR I BOUGHT YOU, THOSE LOUIS VUITTON SHOES, THAT NEW DRESS YOU ALWAYS WANTED? WHAT ABOUT US?” And just like that, I’m reeled back in. It seems like as the fights get bigger, so do the gifts and presents. For that black eye, I got a new purse. For that broken arm, I got the shoes. For the time he slammed my head into the door several times, is when I got that new car he’s talking about. I can only imagine what great present he’ll give me at my funeral.

…

These painful words came from another woman in our circle. Her name was Lola, she was from Southeast Asia, and she was 23. She had been in an abusive relationship for over 2 years. Every Wednesday we held a circle for anybody who was going through something and needed support. It didn’t matter what background you came from, what you believed in, or what you identified yourself with, if you had a story, or shoulder to cry on, then you came to the gathering. Mostly women showed up, and every time they did, it was the same story. Someone was getting beaten, raped, stereotyped, etc. We all cried, agreed that everything was fucked up, and then ate snacks. I was the leader of these circles, and everybody appreciated the advice I was able to give, but deep down inside I didn’t think that was enough.

My name is Aubrey Furaha, I am from the country of Senegal in Africa. I moved to the United States at the age of 12. My family didn’t have much bringing me here, but a desire for me to have a better life. It took us a while to become citizens here, but when we did we never felt it. My dad was always getting stopped by the police and I could never understand why, because in my home country, that never happened. He obeyed the laws, but always got stopped, and whenever he asked why, they never gave him a good reason. People say it’s because the color of our skin. But there ain’t much to be ashamed of. I’m a beautiful shade of chocolate and I love every inch of it, no need to be ashamed. Now I am 36, and I am a successful business owner in the field of political science. I am grossing a little over $100,000 a year. I’m single, with no kids, and I guess you could say I’m “living my best life”. But in this day and age it’s hard for us women to say that and really mean it.

It is year 2055, and women are being treated worse than ever. Once Dustin Bush, great, great, grandson of George Bush, won the presidency election last year, the world for women has turned upside down. The increase of rape cases for women is now at a scary 65%, so basically 7 out of 10 women are being raped, and nothing is happening. This scary statistic includes women of all backgrounds and ages. Ever since the law passed that said “if any fluids come from a women during intimacy, then it was consensual”, men have just abused that. They also outlawed abortions, and now anybody trying to have an abortion gets 25 years in prison, for “killing children, that were naturally created”. They taxed all feminine products such as, pads, tampons, medicine for cramps, feminine wipes, and body wash. To put the cherry on the cake, they took away birth control, because it is harmful to children, and they said “if you have sex with no protection, and a baby comes out, you asked for it”. In other words, they got us all types of fucked up.

Now you may be wondering how all of this unfair treatment came on us all of a sudden, and the best way for me to explain is this. After Donald Trump won the election for his second term, years ago, many women began to get booted out of positions of power. They started passing laws that made so many women “unqualified” for the positions. They did this for years and years, until suddenly, women just stopped being elected into office. It wasn’t just white men in office anymore, though, it was men of color, who just left us out. I think they forgot where they came from and the struggles that we faced all together, and once they got a touch of power, they left us out in the cold. So many laws were passed that only supported men and it felt as if we were in another world where we didn’t matter. Divorce rates were higher than ever, until eventually people just decided to stop getting married. All of the lawyer fees were unnecessary and they were all men. Judges, lawyers, doctors, government officials, principles, business owners, managers, EVERYTHING, was being ran by men. Nobody could even explain it.

Another big issue that was happening was that so many young women were suddenly coming up missing. Human sex trafficking was becoming another large industry of business for men. Exploiting young teens bodies and forcing them to do things against their will, like it was just normal. The government was heavily involved. In fact, they even revealed evidence that proved that several government officials were involved in the sex trafficking scam, but instead of them being fired and imprisoned, they got a paid leave for 3 weeks. 3 weeks to spend with their families and travel the beautiful faces of this earth, instead of 30 years, rotting in a jail cell like they were supposed to. I can only imagine hearing the horrific screams, of “NO, PLEASE STOP”, “PLEASE STOP”, in a quiet room where nobody can hear you. Nobody with a cape, to come to the rescue just in time, like in those movies. It was scary to even go outside at this point. I feared for the daughters of my friends, I feared for family members, I feared for the people in my circle, and I feared for myself. We had to speak up about it. That next Wednesday it was time for us to make something happen and plan a march to speak to our truths to these men.

“Ladies, we will be silenced no fucking more. We have to speak out for each other, for our sisters, and nieces, and most importantly, for ourselves. Us sitting here, crying, and grieving is doing us no good, because we still are going back to our old depressing lives. We have to advocate for ourselves, because if we don’t do it, who will?” I said this in the most empowering voice I had.

“Who the hell cares? They’re gonna call us ghetto anyways? Nobody is gonna listen to us or give a shit about what we have to say.” said Yanni, an 18 year old black girl in our circle. She had been raped several times in her life by close relatives, and they all seemed to blame her for it. She said that mixture of her body con skirt and her uncle’s BAC level exceeding the minimum 0.08% was the cause of that horrible night. Nobody ever showed her enough love to tell her that it wasn’t her fault, and that she didn’t deserve to go through that.

“Yeah, and if my man finds out I’m protesting in these streets, he’s gonna beat me so bad, I won’t even remember how to speak”, chimed in Lola.

“Y’all come on, we have to! Just think positive about it! We can’t spend our whole lives hiding behind these men, we have to do something!” shouted Gianna. She’s 19, and she came from Ecuador and had been living in the United States since, she was 5. Her parents divorced when she was younger and she had been staying with her dad, but he never cared about her. He worked all day, stayed out all night, and never checked on her to make sure she was ok. Even though she had been abandoned for so many years, she always remained positive and supportive of everyone around her.

A girl with short hair by the name of Miranda, rose her hand to speak, and said, “I can help with the signs on behalf of the LGBTQ community. I think doing this is important for us who get punished for just trying to be with who we want to be with. I can’t keep walking around in fear, and I’m not going to continue to silence myself to anybody. I came in this world through a woman, so I’ll be damned if I let a sperm think it can control my life.” Everybody laughed, and then agreed on what had to be done.

We all decided what tasks each of us had, which streets we’d be walking on, and who would be speaking. We wanted to make sure that this was well planned out because if it was the slightest bit unorganized it would result in people being hurt or arrested. Everything had to be perfect. My favorite thing about these circles was how diverse it was and how much we all had each other’s back even though we came from different backgrounds. The march was going to be in a week which was more than enough time to get enough supporters to be present for what we had going on. Flyers had been posted all over just telling people where to be at, but not for what. We were going to have music, speakers, and we already had 200 people down to be there. Somebody thought about having dancers, but we already knew they would overly sexualize that, like they do with everything else. We reached out to organization all across the United States and told them to have theirs in popular places in their states. We’re located in California, so our march took place all over the Bay Area, but specifically, in San Francisco.

…

It was the day of the march and we were ready. We began walking in a straight line, some of us in distressed clothes, some of us in nice suits and professional clothing, and some of us in t-shirts with powerful messages on them. This was to symbolize what struggles we’ve faced and how we’re still here. “Unity” by Queen Latifah was on extra loud. Women just walking around started to join us and the crowd started to increase. We chanted all throughout the streets, making our presence know.

“I’M NOT YOUR PROPERTY, I AIN’T YO PET, WHEN YOU SPEAK TO ME, COME CORRECT! I AM A WOMAN, I AM NOT LESS, DON’T UNDERPAY ME, RUN ME MY CHECK!”

“NO TAXATION, WITHOUT REPRESENTATION! CUT OUR PRICES!”

We got second looks, and cheers. People were praising our work and it was all great. We got to city hall and it was time for Lola to say her poem. She was so nervous, and there was a sea of men with their eyes on her.

“I don’t know if I can do it Aubrey. What if he’s out there? I’ll be dead”. She said to me, in a shaking tone.

“You’re voice is your most potent weapon. Use it with pride, and don’t let anyone discourage you from it.” I said.

With a nervous nod of assurance, she took a deep breath and walked in front of the crowd. She stared out at the audience and tried not to let her fear consume her. She began.

“Cover up your body, don’t show too much skin,

You are your husband’s keeper, and beneath all men,

If you don’t have a man, you’re unattractive, but if too many, you’re a slut

Don’t wear that super tight skirt, so boys don’t stare at your butt

Only your eyes can be seen, so cover up your face

And don’t even think about opening up your mouth,

Stay in your place

If you get raped you asked for it, even though ‘no means no’

‘Shouldn’t have worn that little dress,

Trying to be a hoe,

We are constantly preyed on, and uncomfortable

In our own skin,

Welcome to the daily life of all women…”

The crowd went wild, line after line. It was a relief to have somebody say out loud what we have been experiencing for all these years. More and more people went up to speak and share their beliefs. Tears of anger, frustration, and pride all came out at once. For a slight moment there was just a little hope for the future, and hope for us. That was until suddenly a ring of shots went off into the sky, like Fourth of July around midnight. Everyone was screaming, and a plethora of more shots were fired. Smoke began to fill the air and eyes started to turn red. It was tear gas. Large tanks from the government started parading the streets, with loud sirens, and more gas coming from their engines. I guess this was their way to get us to evacuate but this violated our right to assemble. We were being peaceful and got attack in the worst way. 45 people lost their lives due to the shots that went off, and at least 150 people were injured. This was beyond evil, and it just this heartbreaking feeling spread through my heart, that all hope was really lost.

I hurried home, going straight into my fridge to drink that bottle of Pink Moscato I had left over. I said I was gonna save it for a special occasion, and this one definitely surpassed any company I could ever have come over my house. While I was pouring the drink my hands were shaking, and my heart was beating really fast. Some of it spilled on the counter. I walked slowly over to my couch, removing my shoes, and laid down with tears flooding my face. Defeat. That was the feeling that began to take over me.

…

It had been 2 weeks since the massacre march, and the Wednesday meetings just stopped. Some people needed time to heal, and the rest just lost hope and didn’t want to show up. I guess I couldn’t blame them because my heart wasn’t even in it anymore. There wasn’t much to say but wonder why this was happening to us? What did we do to deserve this? We tried to be peaceful, and we get attacked. What more is there to say, besides what the fuck? I was tired, and over it. I was just waiting for my time to come where I’d be in a place where it was only happiness.

Days after that march, almost all of the women who were present started getting horribly sick. The gas coming from those tanks didn’t smell like tear gas, although it burned the hell out of our eyes. My scientific intuition was telling my that it was something worse than tear gas. A new element that was just founded called Seredium. It has and thick smell similar to cigarettes, and it damages the uterus of any woman who inhales it. This could lead to excessive internal bleeding and or death. I turned on the tv to see if my theory was accurate, and it was. Millions of women were dropping dead in their homes, out in public, everywhere. It was bodies of women just falling out dead. I was wondering when would I be next. So many women from our circle died within those 2 weeks, including Lola. My heart hurt so much when I got the news. Her shitty boyfriend tried to act like he was in so much pain, but he was beating on her all the time so if that didn’t kill her, he would’ve. I had absolutely no sympathy for him.

Now that all of us were dying off, the big question is what was going to happen to the men? Existence on this earth is at the hands of women, and if we’re all gone, then what? You need and man and woman to reproduce, and if you don’t have a women you can’t even have a baby. No women, no babies. I bet these motherfuckers didn’t think about that while they were spreading that gas on us. And they didn’t just do it to us in San Francisco, they did it all over the United States. Women all over this country were gonna die, just for existing. And since we were gonna die, that meant that men were next. This world was coming to an end.

The population of women were slowly decreasing and men were beginning to go crazy. I got a call to speak at the White House to debut the concerns of what would happen. I wanted to decline. I didn’t want to have anything else to do with this country. I just wanted everybody to just kick the bucket, but then I thought about Lola, and what she would tell me to do if she was still here. So I wrote a speech, one that nobody would ever be able to forget. I didn’t put any filter on it, and I wrote about everything I had been seeing and feeling, since I was 12 years old.

…

“Greetings everybody, my name is Aubrey Furhara. I am from a country in Senegal, and I have been living in the United States since I was 12. I would say that when I came here I got everything that was promised to me in the commercials, and books, and tv shows, and laws, about, ‘liberty and justice for all’, but unfortunately I haven’t gotten that yet, and I’m STILL waiting. I’m STILL waiting to get justice for all those times the police beat the hell out of my dad for a broken tail light. I’m STILL waiting for justice for the time my boss sexually harassed me and threatened to take my job if I spoke out about it. I’m STILL waiting to get liberty and justice for my friend whose boyfriend beat the shit out her, for 2 years. And every time she went to the police, they accused her of lying and just stopped helping her. I’m STILL waiting to get justice and liberty for every single woman who has been raped, sex trafficked, abused, paid less than their male coworker who does the same fucking job as them, or less. I’m STILL waiting for y’all to lower the prices on the damn pads. I’m STILL waiting for women to be able to have control over their own bodies. Basically I’m still waiting to see who the fuck you guys think you are. Do y’all realize that if there are no more women, there’s no more you guys. All of you are going to die off because you can’t reproduce!! Why are women not getting any respect in this country?! When the indigenous people ruled this country, before you all stole it, women we’re in control of the governments and families. Decisions didn’t get made unless the woman said so. Why can’t it be like that now? You men DO NOT HAVE TO CONTROL EVERYTHING!! You all have been told that you have to be the “alpha” and that you have to be strong all the damn time and it’s not true! Somebody told you that you had to be mean, and violent, and fight for everything that you can’t control. Somebody also told you that it was wrong to cry, and that you were less of a man by showing your emotions, but that’s what ruined all of your past relationships. Somebody told you that it was wrong to love the same sex or not be happy with who you are and want to change that. The point that I’m trying to make is that, that somebody LIED to you, for several years. And that’s why your wife is so scared of you, because you can’t keep your hands off of her when you get angry. That’s why women are scared to walk out of the house, because you might do something to them that they didn’t ask for. That’s why you guys are going to be the last ones left, and then die next. You guys killed us off. You men took your masculinity for granted, and killed us. You didn’t treasure us, you didn’t care about us, you took us for granted. I don’t know what you can do to fix this. And I’m sure some of you probably hate me, and want to kill me, but I could care less because I’m waiting for my time to come anyways.”

And just like that, I was off the stage, and silence filled the room. Suddenly a man yelled, “PUT HER IN OFFICE, NOW!!”, and more men joined in. They started yelling, “AUBREY FOR PRESIDENT! AUBREY FOR PRESIDENT!” I couldn’t sit there and act like I wasn’t the slightest bit excited. A black woman for president? That’s something that had never happened before and I didn’t know if I was ready for that type of exposure, but somebody had to do it. I was expecting somebody to throw out the fact that I wasn’t born here, but I guess it didn’t matter because of how desperate we were for a change. I know that if I take a position like this I can’t allow the system change me. I’ve seen it happen to too many people and I wouldn’t allow myself to be one of those. I had to make a change for all of those women who were dying still. I was going to try to make up the centuries of oppression that this country caused by fixing what happens in the future. Women that are still alive are going to now be in office and take control what happens in the United States.

For Granted Historical Context

My story was surrounding the issue of toxic masculinity and how it affects not only women but men also in this country. My opinion on toxic masculinity is that it definitely exists and it is a big issue in today’s society because men have been taught that they have to always be on top or the “alpha male”, if you will. They have been trained to believe that it is weak of them to cry and show emotions, which is what causes a lot of them to have anger issues because they don’t know how to show their emotions. They also have been told to be violent even at a young age. This is proven all in the toys section of Toys R Us for boys. They have the fake guns, and swords. It is okay for them to get violent with each other, and when that idea is challenged, the first thing that comes up is, “boys will be boys”.

In the article, “6 Harmful Effects of Toxic Masculinity” by Suzannah Weiss, she states that, “By dictating that men must be strong, have no feelings, and dominate women. Western ideals of masculinity lead men to miss out on aspects of life that should be available to all people, regardless of gender- things like emotional connection and nurturing” (Weiss). I agree with this because men always get shamed when they show their emotions and fear being called “soft”, or “gay” when they do. They have to mask their feelings which is extremely hard, and put on a brave face. This is an issue because when you hold in anger for so long eventually you explode. Men need to be able to express themselves in a healthy way that is effective, because not being able to causes many men to be a danger to themselves and others.

In another article called, “Average 2 Alpha Toxic Masculinity isn’t a Thing”, it says, “It’s a way for the weak to blame the strong, when anyone who holds a characteristic that one of these weak people blame on a devious form of masculinity to the problem” (Chad). I found this very problematic and I do not agree with it, because for one, it blames people who are not in positions of power and call us weak or inferior. It justifies the actions of men by saying that it is because they are “strong” which is way they can do everything. Sexual assault and domestic violence are results of toxic masculinity, so by saying the “weak” are complaining is problematic because you are calling those women weak for that.

I think that toxic masculinity is very real the moment that we realize that male supremacy is the reason for a lot of issues in this country, is when we will be trying to make change. I don’t think it is helpful to raise little boys to feel entitled to anything because they are not. Raise them to believe not that they have to “protect women”, but that they have to respect women, because respect goes a very long way.

Citations

Weiss, Suzannah. “6 Harmful Effects Of Toxic Masculinity.” Bustle, Bustle, 13 Nov. 2018, www.bustle.com/articles/143644-6-harmful-effects-of-toxic-masculinity.