This is where Chris does very bad things to perfectly good food

Learn to Cook, or Die Trying!


Out of self defense, I have learned to cook, and I can teach you.

Michael York as Logan 5 in the film, with blinking life clock.In my opinion, any male that reaches the age of 30 that cannot adequately feed himself without resorting to takeout and fast food needs to be hauled  out into the street and shot. 
 So, as my next birthday looms ever closer and that wierd LED implanted in the back of my hand starts blinking on and off,  I've been working frantically to improve my culinary abilities.   Thanks to my determination and daring, which I will kindly be sharing with you, I know a variety of tasty recipies that can be accomplished by damn near anyone.  Yes, even you.

Lesson 1: Pancakes


Lesson 2: Eggs


Chupaqueso - How To 


Poison Control


Pizza Hut