Let's Share Jokes About Books
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         Built-in Orderly Organized Knowledge Deviceby Marielle Cartier
Executive Director, Alliance for Canada's Audio-Visual Heritage


The "BOOK" is a revolutionary breakthrough in technology: no wires, no electric circuits, no batteries, nothing to be connected or switched on. It's so easy to use even a child can operate it. Just lift its cover! Compact and portable, it can be used anywhere--even sitting in an armchair by the fire--yet it is powerful enough to hold as much information as a CD-ROM disc.

Here's how it works ...

Each BOOK is constructed of sequentially numbered sheets of paper (recyclable), each capable of holding thousands of bits of information. These pages are locked together with a custom-fit device called a binder which keeps the sheets in their correct sequence. Opaque Paper Technology (OPT) allows manufacturers to use both sides of the sheet, doubling the information density and cutting costs in half. Experts are divided on the prospects for further increases in information density; for now BOOKs with more information simply use more pages. This makes them thicker and harder to carry, and has drawn some criticism from the mobile computing crowd. Each sheet is scanned optically, registering information directly into your brain. A flick of the finger takes you to the next sheet. The BOOK may be taken up at any time and used by merely opening it. The BOOK never crashes and never needs rebooting, though like other display devices it can become unusable if dropped overboard. The "browse" feature allows you to move instantly to any sheet, and move forward or backward as you wish. Many come with an "index" feature, which pinpoints the exact location of any selected information for instant retrieval.

An optional "BOOKmark" accessory allows you to open the BOOK to the exact place you left it in a previous session--even if the BOOK has been closed. BOOKmarks fit universal design standards; thus, a single BOOKmark can be used in BOOKs by various manufacturers.

Conversely, numerous bookmarkers can be used in a single BOOK if the user wants to store numerous views at once. The number is limited only by the number of pages in the BOOK.

The media is ideal for long-term archive use. Several field trials have proven that the media will still be readable in several centuries, and because of its simple user interface it will be compatible with future reading devices.

You can also make personal notes next to BOOK text entries with an optional programming tool, the Portable Erasable Nib Cryptic Intercommunication Language Stylus (Pencils). Portable, durable, and affordable, the BOOK is being hailed as the entertainment wave of the future. The BOOK's appeal seems so certain that thousands of content creators have committed to the platform. Look for a flood of new titles soon.
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TOP 10 CHILDREN'S BOOKS NOT RECOMMENDED
BY THE NATIONAL LIBRARY ASSOC
10. Clifford the Big Dog is Put to Sleep
9. Charles Manson Bedtime Stories
8. Daddy Loses His Job and Finds the Bottle
7. Babar becomes a Piano
6. Controlling the playground: Respect through Fear
5. Curious George and the High-Voltage Fence
4. The Boy Who Died from Eating All His Vegetables
3. Things Rich Kids Have, but you never will
2. Let's Draw Betty and Veronica without their clothes on
1. The Care Bears Maul Some Campers and are Shot Dead
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The Shortest Books Ever Written

1000 Years of German Humor
The Code of Ethics for Lawyers
Italian War Heroes
Who’s who in Puerto Rico
Egyptian Battle Tactics
The Jewish Book of Business Ethics
The Australian Book of Foreplay
The Book of Motivated Postal Workers (Canadian edition) (U.S.edition)
The Vatican List of Celibate Priests
Americans’ Guide to Etiquette
The World Guide to Good American Beer
Wars Won by America this Century
Royal Family’s Guide to Good Marriages
Safe Places to Travel in the USA
Bill Clinton: A Portrait of Integrity
Jerry Garcia’s Guide to Beating Drug Addiction
Contraception by Pope John Paul II
Cooking Gourmet Dishes With Tofu
Countries Competing In The World Series
The Englishman’s Guide to the Secrets of Romance
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Never Judge a Book by its Author
Is O. J. Guilty?..............Howard I. Know
Animal Illnesses............. Ann Thrax
French Overpopulation.........Francis Crowded
Fallen Underwear .............Lucy Lastic
Downpour! ....................Wayne Dwops
Cloning ......................Ima Dubble
Irish Flooring ...............Lynn O'Leum
I Lived in Detroit ...........Helen Earth
Inflammation, Please .........Arthur Itis
Handel's Messiah .............Ollie Luyah
House Construction ...........Bill Jerome Home
Unemployed ...................Anita Job
Off to Market ................Tobias A. Pigg
Holmes Does it Again .........Scott Linyard
Home Alone IV ................Eddie Buddyhome
Lewis Carroll ................Alison Wonderland
Leo Tolstoy ..................Warren Peace
The L. A. Lakers Breakfast ...Kareem O' Wheat
Neither a Borrower ...........Nora Lender Bee
The French Chef ..............Sue Flay
Tight Situation ..............Leah Tard
The Scent of a Man ...........Jim Nasium
Why Cars Stop ................M. T. Tank
Wind in the Willows ..........Russell Ingleaves
Look Younger .................Fay Slift
Mountain Climbing ............Andover Hand
It's Springtime! .............Theresa Green
No! ..........................Kurt Reply
And Shut Up! .................Sid Downe
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  Every nation has to write a book about the Elephant:

The French book - The Sex Life of the Elephant or: 1000 ways to cook Elephant
The English book - Elephants I have shot on Safari
The Welsh book - The Elephant and its influence on Welsh language and culture 
The American book - How to Make Bigger And Better Elephants
The Japanese book - How to Make Smaller And Cheaper Elephants
The Greek book - How to Sell Elephants for a Lot of Money
The Finnish book - What Do Elephants Think about Finnish People
The German book - A Short Introduction to Elephants, Vol 1-6.
The Icelandic book - Defrosting an Elephant
Switzerland: The Country Through Which Hannibal Went With His Elephants
The Canadian book - Elephants: A Federal or State Issue?
The Swedish book - How to reduce your taxes with an elephant.
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I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?"
She answered, "If I tell you, it will defeat the purpose."
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