A bullshit free take on the updates from Sony/Playstation.

Q&A #1 for PlayStation Network and Qriocity Services

+ Posted by Patrick Seybold // Sr. Director, Corporate Communications & Social Media

+ edited by _____Steve // Unhappy PSN user, bored with the bullshit filled posts.


First off, we want to again thank most of you for staying ignorant and blindly loyal. We know that Sony's arrogance has been frustrating for a few of you but we know best and will always try to put your views to the back of our mind. We know you are upset, and so we are taking no steps to make our services more super duper than ever before. We should regret any inconvenience or concern this outage has caused, so rest assured that we’re going to try get the services back online now we're finished enjoying our easter break.

We received a number of questions and comments yesterday and early today relating to the criminal intrusion into our network. We've been nagged to address some of the most common questions today and we just couldn't take it any longer.

We are also going to continue to post updates to this blog with any additional information and insight that we can over the next few days. HAHA THAT WAS A JOKE LOL MAYBE WE WILL IF YOU'RE LUCKY

We ARE reading your god damn comments. We wish we could be bothered to pretend to listen to your suggestions. But what you don't seem to understand is we don't need your contribution, you should know by now the Playstation ONLY DOES EVERYTHING.

Please STFU.

Thank you.

Q: Are you working with law enforcement on this matter?

A: Yes, you really think we'd let anyone screw with us and get away with it?!

Q: Was my personal data encrypted?
A: Yes and No. Credit Card details were however every other piece of infomation we have on you was not. I mean how did we know someone would gain access to this? WE ARE THE ALMIGHTY SONY!

Q: Was my credit card data taken?
A: Simply, we don't know. Atleast that's what we want you to think.

Q: What steps should I take at this point to help protect my personal data?
A: PANIC! GO CRAZY! CANCEL YOUR CARDS! CHANGE YOUR NAME! Hell we don't care aslong as you keep spending money with us ;)

Q: What if I don’t know which credit card I’ve got attached to my PlayStation Network account?
A: Quit being such a dumb dumb and check your emails and statements. Not that we care, you just make sure you give us your new credit card number ;)

Q: When or how can I change my PlayStation Network password?
A: You can't.. Untill we let you!

Q: Have all PlayStation Network and Qriocity users been notified of the situation?
A: Well, we weren't gonna bother but you bastards just kept nagging us! So after a week we just gave in. Do  you know how much of a pain it is to send emails to 75million users?!

Q: What steps is Sony taking to protect my personal data in the future?
A: Well, we cut you off didn't we! Oh and we're in the processing of transferring all your personal details to another server, fingers crossed that one doesn't get breached hey? ;D

Q: Has Sony identified the party or parties responsible for the PlayStation Network hack and subsequent theft of personal information? A: In a word, No. We were hoping you would all blame Geohot and Anonymous if we kept quiet enough but apparently we're not allowed to do that.

Q: When will the PlayStation Network and Qriocity be back online?
A:  Fuck knows!