2ATwo Minute Comedy

"Give us Two Minutes... We'll Give You Too"

A Series of Two Minute Comedy Sketches for short attention span theatre


Mortal Mischief
A Double Two Minute Comedy


CAST:
Apolitia – a goddess
Celine – a mortal woman
Kafir – a man
James – a man

Lights up on a tableau.  Celine stands downstage center between Kafir and James.  Both men wear translucent half masks, allowing us to read their facial reactions.  Celine turns to Kafir and SLAPS him!

KAFIR: What’s that for??

CELINE: (angry) It’s for being a two timing, low life, whore monger!  I never want to see you again!

Celine turns to the second man, James.  Her attitude changes completely. 

CELINE: (sweetly) Why yes James, I would love to have dinner and see a movie.

They freeze.  Lights up on a Apolitia clothed in a long white tunic.  She addresses the audience.

APOLITIA:  Here we have three characters.  Celine is infatuated with one, and filled with loathing for the other.  Extreme emotions are fertile ground for a change of face, and mortal mischief…(waving her hand) Observe.

Celine turns away.  The two men exchange masks.  Celine turns back, holding a grocery basket, waiting on the checkout line.  Enter James wearing Kafir’s mask, also with a basket.  He stands next to her.   Celine notices him, looks disgusted.  James notices Celine, and smiles.

JAMES: (delighted) Hi… Fancy meeting you here.

CELINE: Yeah…

They wait.  James fidgets, looks in her grocery basket.

JAMES: I like gelato too.

CELINE: (hostile) What?

JAMES: I like gelato too.

CELINE: (stares) So? 

JAMES: You have good taste.

CELINE: You think??

JAMES: I got raspberry.

CELINE: Well, BFD…

JAMES: (confused) I’m sorry, did I say something?

Celine faces him angrily.

CELINE: Do me a favor and don’t talk to me!

James is completely at a loss.  Pause.


JAMES: Excuse me, did something happen to you?

Celine ignores him.  She starts fiddling with her groceries.  This annoys James.

JAMES: I’m sorry, I asked you a question.

CELINE: You did?? What, are you ignorant and an asshole??

JAMES: (stunned) Okay, I don’t know what’s going on here but I think I deserve an explanation.

CELINE: (suddenly sweet) Oh, okay.  You say you like gelato?

JAMES: Sure.

CELINE: Do you like chocolate?

JAMES: You know I do.

CELINE: (fierce) Then TRY SOME OF THIS...!!!!

Celine THROWS her gelato at James! 


BLACKOUT

Lights up on Apolitia.  She smiles.

APOLITIA: Fun isn’t it?  Now let’s watch what she does when it’s her lover that arrives.

Lights up on Celine back on grocery line.  Kafir, wearing James’ mask gets on line next to her.  Celine glances at him, smiles brightly.

CELINE: Hi…

KAFIR: (wary) Oh, hello.

CELINE: I didn’t know you shopped here. 

KAFIR: Yeah you did.

CELINE:  No, I’ve never seen you here before.

KAFIR: (confused) We’ve been here together.

CELINE: What??  What’re you talking about?

KAFIR: We’ve shopped here a couple times.

CELINE: (pause) I think I would have remembered that.

KAFIR: Forget it.

There is a long silence.  Celine looks in his grocery basket.

CELINE: I like gelato too.

KAFIR: What?

CELINE: I like gelato too.  I bought chocolate.  See??

KAFIR:  Okay…

CELINE: (suggestive) Maybe you’d like to try some… chocolate.

KAFIR: (suspicious) Really?

CELINE: You could come over to my place…

KAFIR: (pause) Are you sure?

CELINE:  Sure.  We both like gelato, right?

KAFIR: Ah yeah… Just that I thought you… I thought you were angry with me.

Celine steps closer and moves to caress his cheek.  Kafir ducks.  

CELINE: (stares) What’s wrong with you?

She reaches for him.  Kafir cringes, suspicious. 

KAFIR: Hey, I already said I was sorry!

BLACKOUT

Lights up on Apolitia. 

APOLITIA: You see class?   Changing faces, changes everything.   Tomorrow we’ll be observing jealousy, and next week we have a class on rage.  Just remember, mortal mischief is fun! 

FADE TO BLACK

 

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