"Perfect Love"

 We all (well at least some of us) seek to love and also be loved back in return. There are many forms of love but for this I am referring to love between couples.

Specifically the highest, noblest, most genuinely caring and selflessly hopeful LOVE between two people. It is a feeling, an emotion, sensation of experience and state of being. Love is a chemical reaction in the brain, it is an evolutionary instrument for survival, and a subjective reason for existence and purpose to life on earth. The qualia of canonical Love, its distinct impression of pleasure and the what-it-is-likeness of experiencing being and falling in love, runs perfectly parallel to the physical, biological, and Darwinist reason and explanations of this primordial awe-inspiring magnificent wondrous phenomenon of which no mere words can define or encapsulate but only hope to serve as a pointer to the shadow of the real genuine thing. Love cannot be defined purely as this or that, it cannot be extracted like a crystal compound or precisely modeled to fit the curve of an equation. It is something which is astoundingly intricate and complexed yet sublimely simple. Love is none of these things and yet all of them at the same time. Love reflects the nondualistic, superpositional and holistic nature of reality and existence.

Some of my favorite novels and movies that to me serve as the epitome this are A Walk to Remember, Somewhere in Time, A Letter to an Imaginary Friend, Journey of the Heart, A lifetime in a moment, Ever After, The Notebook, and Myth.

I am of course referring to the best kind of love. A love is that first and foremost predominately filled with Kindness, with a genuine Caringness and concern. Adoration and admiration. A selfless sacrificial love that makes us feel compelled to willing put the true wellbeing and happiness of that other person beyond even that of our very own self. Someone who we love so much we willingly use our heart as collateral. In that moment it is not a sacrifice it is a great privilege. The kind that one seldom experiences throughout life, for it is beyond mere ordinary love, it is like a bonding, merging to become as one, intertwined with no beginning and no end, a forlorn nostalgic bittersweet reminiscent feeling of finally "coming home" at long last after a seemingly all eternity of an epic journey back from the other world. In the end, and even now, it is just the most wonderful and greatest state of being that it just is, the eternal sun ever shining in the one infinite moment.

People often confuse love with sex. They are as different as day and night. Love and lust are categorically two different and distinct experiences and like oil and water they do not mix well together. It is of course hard & perhaps deemed unnecessary to make that distinction when in a conventional romantic relationship. And it can be argued that from a purely functional point of view Love and Lust are two sides of the same coin, ( though the sensations are polar opposites) and that they both serve as modes of survival, essentially different manifestations of the one same essential principle of the struggle of existence, life-force, eroei, reflection of laws of physicals in this omnium multiverse(s) etc.

For couples who are lucky enough to experience this love they know it is more than regular passion. For them sex is not just about mating, it is a reunion on all levels, a sharing and extension of boundaries and consciousness, a mingling of life force, it is an innocent passion, accompanied by exquisite tender kind loving intimacy and everlasting joy, laughter and happiness. All they want is to be together, to bask in each others blissful and meditative presence is the only thing that matters. Everything else is secondary. But It is more than that, to them it is their collective way of life. And For the rest of us, we are resigned to experience such Love through more vicarious methods such as from an overactive imagination or a bestseller romance novel.

But that great Love that so many speak of and so few behold, do any of us actually deserve this love? Do we deserve this undying and unconditional love of another human being? If soulmates are real, and we are looking for them, how many pause to ask themselves are WE soulmate material? If everyone has a soulmate, then you are someones soulmate. Do you currently live the part? Are you someone you would want to be with?? After all isn't love at best subjectively objective, conditionally unconditional? True love can only be seen from the rear view mirror, destiny is only confirmed retrospectively..

This special love that I've talked about is of course reserved for a special someone whom we first and foremost deem to be deserving of this love. The metrics of what is "deserving" however are much varied as our subconscious plays as much of an role as "we" do. Love is not an equal opportunity employer and we cannot force ourselves to love someone who we don't, and we cannot stop loving someone whom our heart has chosen for us.

Most of the time we love those who are ABOVE our standard. We love those who are (by whatever definition) "better" than us. Someone worthy of our love. But of course the irony is we are never really/truly worthy of the person whom is worthy of us.

We all seek to simulate, achieve, grasp, behold, imagine, and even manufacture this feeling of love. Yet Love, like life, like wealth, like everything else, does not exists in a vacuum. Love is not an island to itself, it is the byproduct and fortunate side-effect that emerges into existence and accompanies the interaction and relation between two different people, two different souls/essences. Yes Love is a feeling, yes we can feel loving towards ourselves, but is it best when expressed through our interactions with another living, breathing, and feeling human being. A divine love lived and expressed through a human body. It's about being with the perfect person for us. Except that perfect person may never even exist. And maybe we deserve no more than that. We deserve not this great love, and if we can feel it in our hearts to want after this love even though knowing it will never becomes ours in reality, and still love this myth of "loving" nonetheless, perhaps then we have come full circle and earned the love that we seek, the love that we have ourselves become. Oh what irony of love.