"Amazing utility! It's like feeding ecstasy to a hamster!" -- Deidre in Vancouver
"This utility is the best. You're a genius!" -- Barbara in Connecticut
"Brilliant! Just one question: what's with you and hamsters?" Ned Parent from Indiana
"I own a hamster. This site has nothing to do with hamsters. Why does it come up in a google search for "hamster?" I don't get it." -- Actual email from Timothy Horton, Winnipeg
"Bon MOT DUDE! Bon MOT! Also, I'm mailing you five DVDs to your website (rewinddvds) Thanks for the rewinding service!" -- James Williams, South Beach
Speed rating graph:
Notice how the redrawing takes longer, and mouse response is more sluggish.
Press below to accelerate your computer!
Why is my machine slower?
Your internal turbo button was already depressed, so pressing it slowed your machine down drastically. Not to worry, by simply pressing it again your machine will return to full speed and more!
Is it broken?
Your machine isn't broken, however you will need to return to this site every time you boot your machine since rebooting your machine won't speed it up. You have pressed the internal turbo button and it is now defaulting to "slow." If your machine were a hamster, it would now be functionally retarded, unable to complete even the simplest of aptitude tests without running out of time. Not to worry, simply by depressing the turbo button above you'll see full speed come back.
The turbo-turbo-button is the product of six years of R&D by Benjamin Bradford, an expert programmer with over 20 years of experience in the technology industry. Turbo-turbo-button was recently voted #1 website, beating out such well knowns as Google, Yahoo and six year-old Suzy Atkin's blog entry "i lik mi cat." Recently Mr. Bradford's other website received a thousand visitors in a single day. If you have technology questions you can email him at bigdavediode at the email service gmail.com.
Other Excellent Utilities:
Turbo charge your slowdowns!