One Step Beyond a Standard Turbo-Button!

Now With Extra Turbo!

From the Genius Who Brought you Blanksheetofpaper.com and rewinddvds Mail in Service!

"Wonderfully easy to use!  You've simplified the turbo button to only one step!"  Norm Parent from Indiana

"It's like a spin cycle for the hamsters!!!" -- Deidre in Vancouver

"My rebooting days are over!  I used to reboot Windows every half an hour, but because of the 50% slowdown feature, I only have to reboot every hour!  That's reliability I can trust!" -- Barbara in Connecticut

"Sixteen times I pressed that damn button!  aND nOT once did it do anything! This site is a useless sack of crap!  You're an idiot!" -- Actual email from Frank Leslie, Delware

"Love your great service!  I checked out your mail-in DVD rewinding service (rewinddvds) and this service is even better!  I didn't even have to send in my computer!  By the way, when will I be getting my DVDs back?" -- Actual Email from Barbara in Topeka 

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Computers used to have a turbo button, but manufacturers removed this useful feature just to cut costs!

Little do people know that the internal turbo button is still there!  Turbo-turbo-button allows you to press this internal turbo button, online.  Try it below and compare!


Your Speed Rating:   Acceptable



Why did manufacturers take away the turbo button? 

Although they have many excuses, manufacturers removed the turbo button from computers to cut costs by less than a nickel!  How can they live with themselves selling machines that are only capable of half speed just so they can save a nickel?  It's outrageous!

Can this speed my computer up?

Absolutely!  Think of the turbo button exactly the same as your normal turbo button on an old pc or hamsters on a wheel.  If your pc is running too slowly, it will speed the hamsters up.  If it's running too fast, it will slow it down to a safe speed, resting the hamsters.  Whichever it does, it makes things better.

Can it damage my machine?

ABSOLUTELY NOT!!!  THIS IS TOTALLY SAFE!  To continue the previous analogy -- forcing the hamster to run beyond his speed can cause him to get winded.  The turbo-turbo-button is like attaching the equivalent of a four horsepower motor to your hamster wheel, but with a safety harness!  (do not actually do this:  beyond 3hp hamsters explode.) 

What if I press it more than once?

If you press the button more than once, you MUST power down your computer, remove all cables, place the computer in a well padded box and mail it to:  Turbo Button Repair Service, 6200 McKay Avenue, Suite 141-200, Burnaby, BC, V5H4M9. 

Wait, how much does this cost, exactly?

It's absolutely free.  To offset the cost of this service, we take money through various rackets and small time cons.  We do make a paltry six cents a month from the ads on the sides, all of which goes to local orphanagesIf you would like to donate to the orphans, mail your small cheque to:  Free the Orphans, Dear God Free the Orphans, 6200 McKay Avenue, Suite 141-200, Burnaby, BC, V5H4M9.

Corporate Info:

The turbo-turbo-button is the product of six years of R&D by Benjamin Bradford, an expert programmer with over 20 years of experience in the technology industry.  Turbo-turbo-button was recently voted #1 website, beating out such well knowns as Google, Yahoo and six year-old Suzy Atkin's blog entry "i lik mi cat."  Recently Mr. Bradford's other website received a thousand visitors in a single day.  If you have technology questions you can email him at bigdavediode at the email service gmail.com.




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