the good, the bad, and the ugly 

Validation Cliff Notes for the 

Communication Challenged

Is it like pulling teeth getting compliments out of your partner?
Then you'll enjoy this crash course in creative emotional dentistry!
Your partner wants to please you. They just don't know how.

They aren't good with words and stuff like we is.

So, let's help the poor dears out, huh?

The next time your partner plaintively whines, 

"But I don't know what you want me to say!"
Simply hand over this short list of handy fill in the blanks.
Better yet, email it.
Let them pick the ones they like, and when to send them.
Or say how many you would like, and when.
Either way, it's a pretty painless way 
to get their own words for you:

Relationship Mad Libs


  1. I like your ______.
  2. Thinking about the way you ________ makes me happy.
  3. No one has ever given me _________ the way you have.
  4. If they were to ask, I would tell my friends that you are ______ to me.
  5. Sometimes, I _______ when I think about you.
  6. No one has ever made me _______ the way you do.
  7. My favorite thing about you is the way you _________.
  8. The first time I saw you, I thought how remarkably ________ you were.
  9. When you are gone, I miss your _________.
  10. No one else can _______ the way you do.
  11. The first thing that comes to mind when I think of you is ____.
  12. I love the way you ______.
  13. You are the first ________ I've ever ________.
  14. No one else knows how to ___________ the way you do.
  15. I'm so glad that you always _______.
  16. I never imagined I would meet anyone that ____ like you do.
  17. I appreciate it when you _____ .
  18. Sometimes, when I touch myself, I think of the way you ____.
  19. Sometimes, you remind me of me when you _______.
  20. I don't do ______ very well. Thank you for doing ______.
  21. I never would have known _____ if not for you.
  22. I'm glad you _______; keep doing more of that.
  23. No one else has ever taken the time to _______.
  24. You are the most _______ woman in the world.
  25. My life would be ______ without you in it.

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things change
I know nothing.
I know not who I am.
I know not what I want.
I know not what I will not do.

Before I met you,

I knew everything.
I knew who I was.
I knew what I wanted
I knew what I would not do.

Now, everything is new.

Because of you.


You are my road less traveled
In you, I see me
What I could have been
Could still even be

But do I like you for you
Or do I want to be you?

you and me

what did you DO to me?
"the same thing you do to me"

yet I don't do anything
but be me
and be happy


 Burning Chakras 

when I think of our next meeting
a line of fire starts to run
from between my brow
down between my eyes
warming my throat
congregating in my chest
exploding in my stomach
a swirling maelstrom in my loins

tingling and electric
clamping burning, pressure, hard
heart attack of the soul
like my chakras are pounding with desire
kundalini rising, coiled, blocked
screaming to get out

drugging me with tension
trembling, nervous
legs weak like I have to publicly speak
almost sick with sensation
yet the high feels good
and I'll ride this wave forever
until it crashes over us both


your words

words in my ear
words on the phone
words on the paper
on my writing
on my screen
on my soul

words to entice
words to command
words to explain
to summon
to bind
to show

your words
my world

thought you should know


As a fairly codependent person myself, I recommend keeping a safe emotional and financial difference from codependent friends or lovers. They have a problem and nothing you do can fix it. The only thing that can help a heavily codependent person is to leave or withdraw support, forcing them to face life on their own. From ...


What women really want

What do women want?

this question gets asked ALL the time
but it is the wrong question

because "women" don't want anything

Poetry: Female and Male

order and chaos
method and madness
form and void
yang and yin
he and she


Hey, little girl – wanna ride?

I see him waiting. He leans out his truck window to ask, “Want a ride?” I do, so I get in. With shades on, I look young – too young. He’s in town for construction, staying at a fancy hotel. “Do you party?” is his next question. I don’t, but I’m glad I still look young enough to attract perverts.

This cracks me up:

Anal Sex and God's Will

Oral Sex and God's Will

Viagra and God's Will

Masturbation - God's Great Gift to Us

Threesomes Within a Christian Marriage

A Proposal for a Christian Pornography

Bondage in Christ - BDSM in a Christian Marriage

Fisting and God's Will: new!

Polyamory - Wikipedia

How to safely tie your partner up

I get asked this all the time, like I'm some kind of bondage expert or something. Far from true. No, I just fixate on things. One of my favorite things to fixate on is a particular guy. This guy likes to get tied up. Ergo, I should learn to tie him up. Simple math.

To accomplish this endeavor, I've accumulated an astounding number of online resources, of which I will share here only the ones I reference most frequently at present:


Animated Knots by Grog

How to Tie the 10 Most Useful Knots