Date: June 2, 2009
Source: The Onion
Abstract: Analysts now believe that last month's horrific attack on San Francisco's Golden Gate Bridge, which left thousands missing and assumed dead, may have actually been carried out with green-screen technology, FBI officials announced Monday.
Sources said federal authorities revisited video of the tragic events of May 16 after a field agent noticed a bright, greenish hue running along the outline of the bridge, and completely surrounding the low-flying missile that entered slowly from the right and struck the beloved national monument. Digital forensic analysts were also able to uncover a number of additional anomalies that may change the way history remembers that terrible day.
"While we must never forget the painful events of 5/16, new evidence has caused us to rethink the nature of the attack," FBI director Robert S. Mueller III said during a press conference. "Specifically the repeated loop of 1950s-era automobiles traveling on the bridge when the first missile hit, the heavy pixilation around the edges of the seventh explosion, and the several inches of green material on both sides of the frame."
"And this would certainly explain why that giant boom mic kept dropping into the shot," Mueller added.
The director also said that the use of chroma-key technology to stage an attack would support widespread claims that rescue workers responding to the bombing were unable to reach the destroyed Golden Gate Bridge because of rush-hour traffic on the Golden Gate Bridge.
Until the bureau can investigate further, the retaliatory bombings in Afghanistan, Pakistan, and Iran have been halted. In addition, the Defense Department has called off its search for the three Arab men who were last seen fleeing the scene of the attack on surfboards.
"We are looking into the possibility that the noticeable hole in the top right-hand corner of the sky might not have been a naturally occurring phenomenon," Mueller said. "But, until we are certain, I advise all Americans to stay alert. If digital imagery was not behind 5/16, there is still a 2,000-foot moth out there capable of creating a mushroom cloud that looks exactly like the one at Hiroshima."
When asked if green-screen technology could have been behind December's gazelle stampede in Detroit, the tidal wave that destroyed Boston in February, or Mount Rushmore ending up at the bottom of a fish tank, Mueller responded, "Absolutely not. Well, wait. Maybe."
Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano assured the public that reviewing the video footage has already provided military officials with valuable insight into the strategy of terrorists who wish to harm America.
"Our enemies are adapting to an increasingly technological world, and we must adapt with them," Napolitano said. "That is why I've told our operatives to be on the lookout for any disparities in foreground and background lighting, as well as any suspicious persons with floating heads—two things we now know to be indicators of a possible green-screen strike."
According to the White House, President Obama has been kept abreast of the FBI's ongoing investigation into the 5/16 attacks. In a televised address from the base of the partially completed Golden Gate Bridge Memorial Wall, Obama reiterated the need for constant vigilance.
"For now, it appears as if the terrorists have yet to master this technology," the president said. "But as they get better at handling larger composites and become more familiar with Final Cut Pro 6, these attacks will begin to look more realistic. We must work together to make sure that state-of-the-art editing bays and studio spaces do not fall into terrorist hands.""If that happens, they could theoretically destroy the world," Obama added. "I hear you can do almost anything with that stuff these days" (The Onion, 2009).
Title: Bomb Threat Prompts Increased Security
Date: September 9, 2011
Source: Deseret News
Abstract: Bomb-sniffing dogs were deployed in the Washington subway and the police searched vehicles at New York's Brooklyn Bridge on Friday as counterterrorism officials working with imprecise clues hunted for at least two men reportedly dispatched by al-Qaida to set off a car or truck bomb in New York or Washington.
Two senior U.S. law enforcement officials said the tip came from an informant in the Afghanistan-Pakistan region who passed word of the purported plot, intended to coincide with the 10th anniversary of the Sept. 11, 2001, attacks, to U.S. intelligence officers Wednesday. The informant said two U.S. citizens of Arab ancestry had left Afghanistan, traveled through other countries and reached the United States as recently as last week.
The officials said they had only a vague physical description of the two men — one described as 5 feet tall, the other 5-foot-8 — and a first name for one of them that is common in the Middle East. The tipster also described a third conspirator, but he appeared to have traveled to Europe.
The informant was not specific about targets, but officials stepped up scrutiny of bridges and tunnels, long considered potential targets for vehicle bombs.
In a notebook found in the compound of Osama bin Laden after he was killed in May, bin Laden mused about the possibility of mounting an attack on the Sept. 11 anniversary. Officials briefed on the threat offered varying views of how serious it was: Some said such a specific tip from a trustworthy source came along only every few months; others suggested such tips were not unusual.
The stepped-up security in New York and Washington came as Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton and Vice President Joe Biden publicly discussed the threat.
"There are specifics — in that sense it was credible," Biden said on the ABC News program "Good Morning America," "but there's no certitude."
The two senior law enforcement officials, who were not authorized to speak publicly about the investigation, were in the skeptical camp.
"It's 9/11, baby," the official said. "We have to have something to get spun up about."
U.S. intelligence analysts said they were examining the possibility that the suspected plot was ordered by Ayman al-Zawahri, who succeeded bin Laden as al-Qaida's leader, and was accelerated after a U.S. drone strike last month killed Atiyah Abd al-Rahman, a Libyan who in the last year had taken over as al-Qaida's top operational planner.One federal official said the informant had reported that the two plotters were told that if tight security made a car or truck bomb attack impossible, they should attempt a less-complicated attack to sow panic (Deseret News, 2012).