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UNITY experience, reply to mails

yes, I agree, after this PHASE of our existence, there probably is 'an existence'

an existence, that few people in this life could begin to comprehend -

but those who live only for the self-realization, union with God here and now, already begigs to grasp what

an existence outside space and time could be like.

That is, the 'existence' (philosophically anything that exist must be in human space and time and human concepts/words to grasp it),

but God, who is eternal and infinite 'IS" (the 'I am who I am, or I will be who I will be') 'exists' not in human concepts or ideas,

words that are restricted as they can only deal with entities that exist in/as human space and time.

Thus the next phase of 'existence' will be like that of God, beyond the notions of existence that humans have, as existing in restricted space and time dimensions. God is not or does not exist in human space and time dimensions, in that what we here conceive as and think is reality - only manifestations/energies of God exists in this space time restricted reality and human notions of it as world views and mind sets.

Science have since the last century dealt with many more dimensions of reality, that what is real, that the traditional human notions of space and time and place and situation.

Those who have unity experiences - the pure awareness, needs no convincing of the other, beyond time and space manner and dimensions of existence

as we experienced it already here and now.

 I think I did mention to you the book by the American Swami friend about the history of mysticisms - concerning the summary of their unity experiences of 40 to 50 individuals - from Plotinus, different religions or none.

I sent Dominick a revised edition copy the Swami sent me by email; I also bought it secondhand at


The Swami's webiste link where the book, there called The Mystic's Vision, can be downloaded for free:

The Mystic's Vision - hosted by Swami Abhayananda

23 Nov 2009 ... Home. Welcome. This site is intended to serve as a resource center for information about the lives and teachings of the mystics. ... - Cached - Similar




yes - but ego has so many different facets, tricks and dimensions - and every time and every moment it appears in a new disguise or persona - (that one identifies with?).

Suppose the demons of the desert fathers?

Thanks for the response ...obviously it was all ego based.... the email to you..... as suspected once I slept on it....I was fine..... In some ways its not up to me for when this permanent Union happens.

true , in a sense -

on the other hand some of the preparation

and most definitely the motivation - need for it - is one's side -

buddhists - the more subtle and developed stages - emphasize this 'need', or in a more positive way the 'seed' of transcendental wisdom and love combined - is essential.

Few people have that 'desire', intention or need, like we do -

and the buddhists lot consider that as THE most important thing - this motivation - that drives one on.

It can be labelled in many ways - as love for the Sufi Beloved, seeking enlightenment, Orthodox calls it the acquisition of God's Holy Spirit, born againers, etc. Whatever - and to whatever the aim is - the motivation - lasting motivation, the drive, the need is the thing...

.....there are still parts of I/me that haven’t been let go....

yes - and I find some of them slip back so easily onto one because of certain situations, circumstances, contact with others.

While at the same time in many ways it is up to me

yes, most definitely

to at least present myself to Union


but always the razor thin or hair's breath between this open presenting of oneself

and when 'ego' begin to lay down demands of time (now at this moment of meditation etc), place and the medium Union MUST be - a certain image, preconceived notion etc -

and what it may not be like - for example when Old Testament ideas of God puts one off , or certain Christian ones - because one is not openminded about them - one rejects them as NOT being the appropriate image for that what one will be in union with.


anyway it's the breath of a hair between

retaining the appropriate openness - receptivity

and let some preconceived idea, notion, image sneak in - about how union must be and with what and when.

John of the Cross I suppose will say these things are part of 'memory' to be cleansed - in his 'psychology of 400 plus years ago'

opme kind of preconceived ideas that we still have or rather that one still 'is'. - about what the 'feeling', and place and time of Union: must be like, may be like and may not be like

by not being in the way

perfect - what I always said of myself to myself - just to get out of the way at least

of the happening for as much as possible.

I was just like a stupid little kid wanting Union when I want it...... putting a time




and restrictions

and other restrictions

on, Like a little kid saying , "Come on dad, I want Union now ....please Dad!!!!"

yes - one often has this idea in one's subconscious when meditating or praying - the result must be the way one wants it

But as we all know it doesnt work that way

yes =-

. As always your email cuts straight to the point ....and for the most part I know all of this already for the last year or so ....but it was just a passing mood.


'the' path to union -

just in short first, and quickly:

the 10 oxherding pictures show all the necessary steps

BUT - and this is the big but -

one needs to have experience , or know someone who can fill in each of the 10 steps with the

essentials - and not get stuck with irrelevant things - like xtians with their obsessions with sin etc

there buddhism comes in: their system is very good - right action, right thinking, etc

but again too many irrelevant and distracting things - that one must sort out from the essentials

very difficult for someone - a walker of the path - while involved in the practicalities of the moment -to see the wood from the many distracting tress

thus Moller - one of the best - focus on the essentials - but it seems difficult to connect with everyday life practicalities -

one needs to develop a mind that is able to assist one at every moment to distinguish between what is essential and what is irrelevant -

petty things , things that must be done at work for example if one like it o rnot

unnecessary emotions etc-

The Sufi book Conference of the birds describes very well the 7 or so stages

but then one can also read any of the great xtian mystics -

again difficult for a walker to distinguish between the essentials of what they try to describe and the many pages they

express with joy or with depression their emotions in the different states

see Teresa of Avila

John of the Cross

van Ruysbroeck

CCEL LIbrary have many of their books for free

or just read descriptions of these by F C Happold in Part 1 of his Mysticism anthology -

that is truly very good . published in the 60's one can get it secondhand at Amazon for 1 cent or so

the second part gives texts from different traditions about the path.


Anyway - I will think of what you said and try to put down some outlines about the 'path to union'

both in a formal way - outside all religions/philosophies

and then in brackets - how the different religions, in their own terms, express these things -

eg the Christ-centered mysticism of Paul and John.

I found that many, especially westerners initially experience Union as with 'a person' -

a subject and another person as an object, then the two become one, united

because of their Judeo-xtian background,

but eventually they all develop to union that is not with a person -

an impersonal state -

as if one is the universal energy, self, essence, ground of all -

afterwards, in hindsight, one can describe it as if it is a person


Quick question...
When you first got into the whole Union business... was that awareness elusive for you in the beginning?

absolutely - as it is and remains THE meaning of my life -

while every now and then I did spend much time on painting, writing, philosophy, thought I should be a priest/monk in some established church -

the need for that remained all the time.

I mention these autobiographical details of my wasted life -

as it seems to me the motivation and commitment (or love for the greater love of The One etc) to realize 'union, enlightenment' whatever one wish to label it as -

is THE thing.

Because I had it over a year ago and lost it ...but now it seems  a lot clearer ..its there like an additional faculty intuition, or gut feeling definitely has its own feeling and characteristics.....

I also had that losing it many times - and did the things named above, or concentrating on praying Divine Offices, celebrating the Liturgy/Mass at my small chapel at home and of course read a lot and 'mysticism, or religion' -

the latter not so much to obtain factual knowledge/information about the path to and realized state of union -

but out of desperation to realize that state again and again-

yes in the process one matures spiritually - that is, develop these other, more advanced dimensions.

In the end , after union, one understands why they are so important -

for example a person who never had an interest in these things - if s/he would suddenly experience a touch of union or some mystical experience (many report that and call it all sorts of names)

they have not been prepared and or their 'being' has not been differentiated (greater intuition, gut feeling etc) - so they experience those inklings , flashes of union as just one nebulous thing - not as a detailed, greatly differentiated and consisting of many extremely subtle dimensions 'pure awareness'

I think if you compare yourself now to say 2 years or 5 or 7 years ago - you will see what I mean - a much greater susceptibility to receive a much more detailed, intense unity experience (a greater depth and subtlety in personal preparedness for a direct, personal experience of 'IT, the ground, the one, god etc).

But it gets so easily covered up by the mind, thought, daily life activities ..

YES! and other aspirations when ego compares itself to others - like I do when I see the successful academic careers and publications of people I know/knew well - they are far less creative or intelligent than I am but the achieved and realized much, much more in the secular and academic world than I ever did.

Such comparisons, needs (and secular goals and aspirations of what is successful or good) and other games by egos draws one into everyday secular life - and distracts one from concentrating on the path to union

and/or to perceive this as having any meaning or relevance for one's own life and human existence (why I mentioned the autobiographical things above re my other, distracting interests, over the years)

..I want to be careful not to get lost in the mind again and lose this awareness ...though thats a paradox because awareness is always there....

yes - as it starts off in such a subtle way - and then one has to become committed ( many little conversions or tuning backs, converted) to walking the path allover again =-

and to try and find oneself where one last was serious, at the appropriate place/state of the path for oneself

but still

had it in 2009, then lost it ...but the last 2 weeks its been strong ...even losing sleep over the strength of it...

seems like a swing backwards and forwards to the commitment to the path alone and other aspects of life -

especially as those other (the non union or secular) things are valued and have importance and meaning in our lives, and the lives and world we are in -

studies, work, having partners, drink, going drinking, a night out, cars, anything - all those things are valued by groups and people around one -

but the union motivation is not a valued thing -

only oneself in the midsts of the world seems to have it as an isolated individual (and the world and its valued things are not out there - but here in my head and form part of the values and attitudes that I became as I became socialized as a person in this world and society)

yes then the wish, need, value of the union path suddenly and unexpectedly break through again -

as I mentioned above in my distracting (from union) activities

ALso it is not yet showing Oneness ...but awareness seems to be the vehicle to enter that Oneness....

absolutely yes - for Moller and many schools Awareness is it -

but xtians and some other 'schools/paths' who assume a person/personal force or energy (as the ground of all, the Being of beings, The one of which everything else are mere manifestations or expressions in human space, time and place, situations) -

the awareness is not enough-

that one must be one/d, in personal union or direct, personal experience of that 'personal, universal force, person, energy, Brahman, the Sufi Beloved, he one Real self' etc.

have a look at that Swami, and american, in his 70's we exchanged a few mails - he is now in his 70's and lives alone after having ran Vedanta temples, in the USA, for his school, order etc -

I send you the link to his free, and downloadable book - the History of Mysticism - it summarizes the unity paths and experiences of about 40 to 50 people, including Jesus. THAT is the society, the group of significant others that assist one not to stray from the path to the all-invasive secular world around and in us -

and make the unity experience more real

Ok talk soon ...must get some sleep ..body tired.

Thanks a million again that you even respond and give guidance. I am forever extremely grateful and literally owe you my life and would take a bullet for you if need be ...just for the help. You have been a soul/sole beacon for me on this journey ...keeping me sane, in check, and quantifying my experiences with your own.

to me its essential to respond as the 1 or 2 I came across and who are committed to the path - in spite of our temporary distractions every now and then and sometimes for years as was my case - are so rare -

and it allows me to be the union, to talk about it, to express it and thus makes it more meaningful and real to me - when one develops a socieyt a social world of significant others who are committed to union above all other values - in spite of occasionally being drawn into those things that are part of one that society values-

and that someone does it not for money, not for honors (position like a pope, bishop etc) not to make a living OFF it (like gurus and rabbis and those with big movements, big mega churches etc) do

but because that is the only and real reason why we are here on earth-

and until someone realizes this they will search and search among socially valued things - big names, fame, money, cars, night out, etc

I thank God that I have you as a true friend and teacher. And the fact that you even pray for me, I can't even imagine in any possible way how to repay you. Again thank you so much with extreme gratefulness

you strenghten me by showing in flesh and blood that I am not alone, that there is at least some meaning in walking the alone path -

as the few great saints, mystics, seekers, walkers are not around us in our western society -

but only others who live OFF the whole thing and who sells it in such way for high positions, like popes and megachurch owners, gurus, master etc

but living in India or Japan , some buddhist or zen country will be no different -

as the few serious ones living only FOR it, and not OFF it, are as rare there as well -

most of them in asia also do it for other reasons, all sorts of immediate satisfaction and goals, superstitions etc

to engage one's life and live and offer it for the path to 'the always elusive one (the one that is always more than what knows of it/him already) that is very, very rare -

also in asian societies..

so you give me an opportunity to try and express that the path of the elusive one

has at least some meaning

some value (but what kind of values? as it cannot be measured in terms of the standards of the world around us - in terms of those standards of prestige, money, power, beauty, luxury , education etc - the values of being one or seeking that oneness with the always elusive one - one only REAL Self, or always greater union with The One, one's highest self) --


it is the


the commitment -that is what is essential (even if it disappears or is watered down sometimes because the surroundings we live in, that invade and become one's own head and mind and values sometimes)

to be even more one'd with

to become oneself it ever more and

more of the time -

that is

the seed (to become wisdom and love) buddhists call it

xtians call it love for Jesus, to put on the mind of Christ above all.

thought last week ho Roman Catholic committed ones/saints sometimes get the stigmata of their beloved , the human Jesus-

that what they consider the manifestation in time and space of The godhead -

while Hindus take on the marks, expressions of how they interpret and e4xperience their Beloved one - like hindu fakirs do

those who develop the chakras or the Chinese energy or force.

Orthodox and other xtians do not have visions of Mary or the stigmata from the crucified Jesus -

but are transformed by an inner light - like the Way of the Pilgrim little book - as they personally acquire the Spirit of 'the Godhead"

I find and send you the like

I send you the book itself by email -

see the contents page

and read selectively what speaks to you

some of those who experienced unit speak more to one person

some more to another


God/satori/brahman/real self does not exist in ego's space and time

A reply I sent to someone's questions:

God as the timeless, the eternal, the beyond space and time, as essence, the real self, Buddha mind, enlightenment does not exist - if one tries to understand them in terms of and by means of human concepts, ideas and images that are time and space restricted.

Only revelations, manifestations or energies of God, Brahman, the buddha mind, the one real Universal self, the enlightenment state etc are found as creatures, created manifestations in time and space perceptions.


Just wanted to share ...some magnificent changes.....

There is more pull to go within, there is more awareness that the mind, the ego is not who I am ....while there is still mostly moments of forgetting this truth is nevertheless a big part that through-out the day there is a lot of catching the ego in its act.

Yes! - this is another, clearer stage that you went into,

and that gives you the opportunity to reflet on more subtle states.

This is how things go - gradually, slowly as oneself 'changes' in very subtle ways - 'deep experience' or experience of very subtle little states and very subtle ways of perceiving them ( all need to be created at the same time - for as we never had these states before, we also do not have the appropriate words/ideas/concepts/images to conceptualize them and thus to become more rationally aware of them - all this has to be invented/created at the same time).

To undergo/be such stages, become pre-conceptually are of them -that is before putting it into words, and then to be able to find words to express and grasp them into - so that one can reflect on them - their nature, meaning, function -

There is more clarity, less judgement of things, less bias.

yes this is another dimension -

from this you can increasingly see how many subtle dimensions there are to the whole thing -

that perhaps is a lesson:

to know, from personal experience -

that there will always be other dimensions that one experience -

and that develops other very subtle aspects of ones critical perception -

many sides to it - and endlessly so.

When one hears someone talks about 'enlightenment' or these aspects one reduces them to the one or few experiences and insights to them that one already had -

but the more of these subtle aspects one experienced oneself,

the more one hears the subtleties expressed by someone talking about them -

and this will go on and one forever.

To most people all of this is almost 'invisible' and of course boring

There is more going back to just awareness .....but still this awareness seems bland and boring to the ego.

very much so - more direct awareness (as MOller calls it) or pure awareness, without judging that what one perceives or 'is' -

yes boring to ego - as the judging, comparing, grasping like a child ego - ego's role becomes less and less important in this pure awareness thing. Ego must still learn that it has a restricted role - as part of the everyday personal self -

and that sometimes it and its workings are irrelevant and bracketed.

so ego - who always wants to be occupied, and with things that makes it feel in control and important - and usually by things pleasant to itself - highs, company from others, drink, eat, tastes, sound, bodily feelings pain, pleasure, sex and other emotional sensations -

if some or all of these things that ego grabs naturally for itself are less and less present -

ego feels , not in control and bored -

and tries to tell the 'I" or the universals elf that one becomes more and more -

go back to what you usually do/did - John of the Cross and others call this 'memory' - those attitudes, habits one used to be - before the cleansing of the night of the sense. Or if all those things were not removed - that often is a question of will/will power - at least one became aware of them and w\one had the choice to choose to do, be, undergo them, or not to do/be them.

The question is, where is this awareness, what is it exactly? It seems this is the untouched and still pure aspect of ourselves that is just the observer which is unmoved by whatever takes place. IS this the soul?

yes it is more pure awareness -

Vedanta and perhaps buddhism would like to personalize this state of greater pure awareness -. Vedanta or Hinduism would like to call it the names of different gods - just like they have names for the negative gods/forces (that control desires, lust, etc) -

or self-realization will say this is the one, real, universal Self (or Brahman, the I am who I am, Krishna etc). Moller will say it is just the natural state of the human being - as he has no universal forces, energy, gods involved in this.

I can clearly see now how staying with just awareness takes away power and dismantles the ego piece by piece.

absolutely as said above - and why ego hates it, feel bored, unwanted and unvalued

It is a gradual process


I think some things consists of a gradual process -

others aspects of them occur in instant flashes.

Maharishi and many others claim to have had the break through say at 17, or the Swami (an american guy) from The and the excellent free History of Mysticism (50 or so unity experiences from mystics of all ages, cultures, religions or none - eg Jesus) book. he says he had it when about 27 after having left the US navy. He describes it in detail in his books. OR Bernadette Roberts - who calls it 'no self' etc.

All sudden breakthroughs that lead Rinzai zen to say it is instant enlightenment.

But if that is the case why did the swami not write his books at 26? Why did he wait until he was 55 to 75 before he started to write his books on those things?

See there are at least 2 sides to it. I think a lot of instant (of course during them it feels as if humanly invented time measured by clocks, calendars, days, weeks, months, years etc do not exist) enlightenments - big flashes, short flashes, longer lasting or shorter ones, some very deep ones and some more superficial ones.

But to prepare for any of these - and they will always become more subtle - can take many years - more so for some people than others.

And it is only one part of the person who undergoes such instant flashes - not yet the whole of the person. I think the later and later instant or union flashes or unity experience - more of the entire person is involved. Also a person gradually develops appropriate ideas/words/insights to 'grasp' the meaning, the nature of such experiences -

by thinking about such things, reading about them what others call them and the words the use to express such instant, unity states, etc. There is an entire social terminology for describing and expressing the nature of such states - in each religion for example. Look at what Paul and John says, or Paul on his Damascus road experience or born again xtians.

To have any instant flash or unity experience

to be able to reflect on it - having the tools for this

and then to be able to talk about it to others and report it to others these are different types of things and not necessary for union.

better understanding of what happened I find useful -

as it sets me free and prepares the ground for further, more subtler states.

and yet my first glimpse of Union was instant a flash.


Which brings up the debate of gradual versus instant ...which coincidentally I was reading about how many of the buddhist/zen/dzogchen branches split off in direction purely based on "instant" versus "gradual".

they emphasize different aspects of the entire life-long state -

some the instant ones and some the life-long one.

Which then the Hunch is that gradual seems the better route because then its a whole complete thorough process that gets to the goal.

yes, it is the better perception of this entire life long thing.

another aspect of it is for those who will eventually report these things to others - by books, teaching, etc.

That's not necessary for others - but it's said that it's one thing to get up the mountain,

but then the entire person has to integrate what happened -

one part is as above - the ego must learn and adjust to its lesser role,

a role for presentation of self to others, in the public arena and for tasks in everyday, practical reality or praxis.

But after having reached certain height along the mountain

or eventually the top of it - that varies for each person, individual heights are different for persons -

then to report it

and perhaps to teach it

those again are different things -

and they do not occur in the one Rinzai sudden flash -

but preparation for them is necessary,

and for many people they might never arrive - for example many will always remain unsuccesful at reporting them, and never be able to act as a good teacher of them to others.

But at the same time Instant is direct and in that directness of that goal already being there then afterwards all the pieces of ego also drop away in the light unobstructed Union.

absolutely -

there is a directness - that can have different effects

some cause bits of ego to drop away

others more bigger stretches of ego

until eventually ego is in its balanced place

the one, real, univeral self is all

and ego is given a small everyday role to cope with others and perhaps to cope with as yet unrealized, not yet pure or direct awareness aspects of oneself - what remains of past attitudes, habits, needs, sensation or 'memory' John etc called it

Is this awareness the soul?

yes if you need the word the soul -

many mystics with their religions go off on this - Orthodox, RC's etc and write books on exploring this aspect

the soul as a spark of the divine in the individuals, the soul becomes deified - Orthodox, the Trinity that lives in the soul, the soul has the Spirit of God, the Holy Spirit, mind of Christ in it etc -

much of this is speculation, and xtian religion finds this necessary.

But such thinking ABOUT these things or reflection on them from a second order place - is not the process itself. But it can be useful preparation for another stage. An essential preparation for many xtian mystics - Bernard of Clairvaux saw the soul as the Beloved and lover - like in the Song of Songs from the Bible, so does John of the Cross, Teresa of Avila etc. But I think such thingss ay more about their XTIAN frame of reference, than about the actual workings of the whole process.

Vedanta will talk about ATman (God ORBbRAHMAN OR THE UNIVERSAL SELF) IN EACH EPRSON AS BECOMING BRAHMAN (the essence, GROUND OF GOD, ECKHART'S GODHEAD OR Gottheit) - becoming one with Brahman, the personals elf becoming the universal self.

but these are words, attempts to describe what is happening - and ways, from different frameworks or schemes of concepts (personal conceptual schemes/systems/models) to try and understand what is going on.

Like different sciences , biology, physics, zoology etc, the arts emphasize different aspects of the world or reality - all make towards one whole, but no one description by one science or frame of reference (one DIALOGUE or discourse and its planet, view of reality and mind set) will or can express the ALL -

that what you experience directly, without, before words, ideas, concepts

Is there a starting point for it and is that staring point where 'I' and God are one? This just seems to be the instinct, the hunch of what is at the root of awareness .....since you are more and more an expert in this arena this hunch right?

yes that's it -

the void, nothingness of Buddhism;

one, real universal self of Vedanta

the Godhead/heit of Eckhartm,

the Essence of God of Orthodoxy (for whom Jesus, the Holy Spirit, the soul, and all creatures we see around us, the creation - are ENERGIES or manifestations/epiphanies/showings - or revealing, revelations of God IN time and Space. Because the Essence is beyond human time and space, never born, never changes, never dies - only the manifestations of it in human time and space - undergoes changes during time and in space).

Yes - pure direct awareness, pure consciousness etc - those moments - longer or shorter - outside and not determined by human time and space (like ego is determined by these two dimensions: I taste and want this food now in this moment/time, I want and need sex now in this time and this space/place and other desires and emotions - I must and want to see and miss my loved one now and wants her here now, space etc) -

pure awareness, God's essence, the real self, the Spirit, the buddha mind etc

are beyond human time and space - thus we call the state that experiences or undergoes that no more time, no more space - pure (without the restrictions of time and space) awareness or consciousness. The ego, I or personals elf can only be, experience, think in time and space dimensions, words, and feel in space time sensations -

God, the ground/essence?Being of all the one real universals elf is beyond human clock time and human restricted space by sense perception, seeing, feeling, hearing, tasting only that what is here and now in this moment -

in pure awareness, without ego and its time and space, you are oned/

you ARE the essence, brahman, God, real self - whatever you wish to call it -

beyond human time and space -

you do not experience in pure awareness -

through senses and their perception of times and space - I taste here I touch and taste this now etc -

thus you are one with the absence of human space and time - God, the Godhead, the universal spirit, the void, nothingness, the extinction of human space and time and the sense and the go as Sufis call it

- that takes some getting used to -

and the entire person's body, mind, senses, ego and attitudes, habits

all take some adjustment to be able to cope with such no space, no time, no place, no sensations, nothing to perceive and no one who is the perceiver/observer

or the experiencer -

you, the subject, ARE that what experience - god, the real self, the object

and at the same time you are that is experienced - the sensation of experiencing

this is unity experience

as said above many people feel they must justify the ideas, doctrines, dogmas of their own religion -

to express what happened to them in those moments -

in terms of their own religious doctrines - soul, Jesus, mind of Christ, universal self etc.

that's also how human beings make sense of what happened to them during unity experiences -

by, when they're back as ego, personal self - who must try to understand all things by reason and feeling - try to translate that what is beyond EXISTENCE< beyond BEING - because in this sense God, the real self, union do NOT exist -

something can only exist IN TIME and IN Space and IN a place -

if soemthing is not in time in space in place - say like someone you knwo or a pet who died - they are said NOT to exist (any longer)-

so when existence is judged by time, space, and place -

God, the universal self, buddha mind, the soul, universal self, union, the unity experience can only be said NOT to be, NOT to exists - as those things are beyond/transcend time and space words, concepts, images, dimensions.

You all transcend or bracket those dimensions - of the EGO! and society and human culture all functioning only in time and space so as to have meaning to and to make sense for human senses and brains -

during unity moments or union - all space and time and thus social, cultural religious restrictions, and words, images, concepts, ideas -

as Jesus said the Kingdom IS here and now - and joinb me now in this KIngdom - the Kingdom of God, pure/direct awareness, enlightenment, union, unity experience, etc - all 'ARE" (time!) 'now' -

but because those things are eternal - that is have NO beginning (time), NO end, no change, NO development -

when we use only time and space to judge if something EXISTS, IS - then we must say: god, universal self, the soul, direct, pure awareness of consciousness, union, unity experience etc etc do NOT exist, never did exist and never will exist (as they are beyond time and space)

Anyway there is less forcing of things, less a need to read any books, just a clearer seeing, more of a childlike freedom and clarity ....still not Union though ...but seemingly close. At least a very clear way/path that shows the obviousness of how the ego will be gradually uprooted.

that is the appropriate state to be in - see it in the framework of reference, explanation, context I described above - and you will see you say, think, experience very much the same thing here - you just use other words to express it.