October 29 - Anger Management
(Life during posture clinic)
You might remember a couple of weeks ago I wrote about Mike, who taught us during the beginning of training; at one point he mentioned that in week six, he had to shave his goatee to make sure he wasn’t going crazy. Well, hello week six! Wow. Tough. I don’t think I have ever seen so many people cry in one place, not even at a screening of E.T. or some such. All during the week, walking to the bathroom or to go get my yoga mat, I would just look left or right and see someone huddled in a corner crying or racing to get outside, away from everyone, tears in their eyes. Sometimes you stop, sometimes you don’t, when you can tell they don’t want any comfort but JUST WANT TO BE ALONE. A number of teachers mentioned that Week Six is often dubbed Anger Week and for many of us, that was certainly appropo. Even a lot of the stalwarts in class were hitting walls of frustration and soreness and feelings of ‘get me the %$# out of here’. Adding to this was the fact that our end time each day was extended from 11:00 PM to 11:30 PM, in order to try to get all the postures in by the end of week eight. (Week Nine is reserved almost exclusively for lectures…oh joy.) Most people are lucky to get 5 hours of sleep a night.
All that said, I am still so glad to be doing this and to have the chance to continue to get to know these remarkable people. Don’t get me wrong about the week: even with the anger, frustration and tears there is continual laughter in the group, even if it is laughter about how awful we are feeling. And the time is flying by. I was stunned by how fast this week went and I know the remaining three weeks will be even faster. It will be wonderful to graduate and get back to life as I once knew it (though I am realizing it isn’t quite ever going to be the same again) but at the same time it will be so terribly difficult to leave this group, particularly knowing that I probably won’t see 80% of these people ever again, even some I have come to know very, very well. At the same time, it is so cool to know that for the rest of my life, most anywhere I travel in the world, I will probably be able to take Bikram and quite possibly from someone in my class.
(Two short passages taken from AMERICAN YOGA by Carrie Schneider and Andy Ryan)