Heat Wave

This is Creed, and he is in charge of...something...right?

"Heat Wave"

 

 

mckenna/insana

 

___________________________

 

 

FADE IN

 

INT—KITCHEN—LUNCHTIME

 

TOBY, JIM, OSCAR, and KEVIN are seated around the table.  All four are drinking furiously and breathing deeply. 

 

JIM: (grimacing)

Whew...oh my god that’s strong.

 

MICHAEL: (entering)

That’s what she said.

 

MICHAEL laughs at his own joke.  Nobody else does.

 

MICHAEL:

What’s up dudes...and Toby.

 

CUT TO—KEVIN IN THE KITCHEN—TALKING HEAD

 

JIM:

I bought a dozen fresh jalapeno peppers today. I was going to slip a few of them in Dwight’s turkey sandwich...but I couldn’t break the lock he had installed on his lunchbox.

 

CUT TO—KITCHEN

 

MICHAEL:

Hey!  Are those ga-lapen-o peppers?

 

KEVIN:

You mean...jalapeno peppers?

 

MICHAEL:

Yeah, that’s what I said.  What are you doing with them?

 

JIM: (smiling)

We’re eating them.  Seeing who can go the longest without water.

 

MICHAEL:

Pssh.  That’s so easy!

 

TOBY:

Well, it’s harder than it looks, Michael.

 

MICHAEL:

For you maybe.  Not for me.  I can do this in my sleep.

 

KEVIN:

...why would you ever have to eat peppers in you sleep?

 

MICHAEL: (beat)

That’s not the point.  What I meant was that I’m the King of Spice. I’m “King Spice”.

 

OSCAR: (laughing)

What, like a Spice girl?

 

MICHAEL:

You would know, wouldn’t you? 

 

OSCAR is offended.  Nervous, MICHAEL tries to change the subject.

 

MICHAEL:

Not that that’s a bad thing.  Gay or not gay, Spice Girls are a very respectable band. Basically, what I mean is, there is no flavor this tongue can’t handle.  Just the other day I was at Chili’s, and I spread liquid pepper all over my food.

 

JIM:

I think that would be...ketchup.

 

MICHAEL: (growing impatient)

You know what?  Enough already.  Give me a pepper. 

 

KEVIN tosses him a pepper.  MICHAEL holds it in his palm.

 

TOBY:

Don’t you want a glass of water or something?

MICHAEL:

Please.  Not everybody is as wussy at life as you are, Toby.

 

MICHAEL takes a deep breath and jams the jalapeno into his mouth, after a few quick chews he swallows.  KEVIN claps rigorously.  MICHAEL smiles triumphantly.  Then, he face slowly begins twitching.  He is breathing rapidly through his mouth.

 

OSCAR:

Are you okay, Michael?

 

MICHAEL:

WAH-TAH!  OH MA GAH!  I NEE WAH-TAH!

 

MICHAEL begins convulsing. 

 

KEVIN:

There’s some tomato juice in the refrigerator. 

 

MICHAEL frantically rips open the refrigerator and begins chugging a red liquid.  Then, he screams out in pain.

 

JIM: (to the camera)

Ouch, took the Tabasco sauce by mistake. 

 

MICHAEL cannot take it any more.  He throws himself head first into the sink and begins blasting water on himself.  Just then, MEREDITH emerges from the women’s bathroom.  MICHAEL lifts his head from out of the sink. His hair, face, suit jacket, and tie are all sopping wet.  Everybody stares at him in silence.

 

MICHAEL: (breathing deeply; to Meredith)

Want a pepper?

 

CUT TO—OPENING CREDITS

 

 

EASE IN

 

INT-OFFICE-DAY

 

JIM and DWIGHT are seated at their respective desks.  JIM gets up and makes his way to the printer.  DWIGHT watches his every movement.  JIM retrieves the printed document and makes his way back toward DWIGHT.

 

JIM:

Something wrong, Dwight?

 

DWIGHT: (serenely)

Not at all.

 

CUT TO—DWIGHT IN CONFERENCE ROOM—TALKING HEAD

 

DWIGHT: (deviously)

Every day for five years I’ve had to put up with Jim Halpert’s ridiculous pranks. Well today, Halpert will get what is coming to him.  I have planned, and schemed, and perfected this trick for over a year, and today is the day it finally comes to fruition.  I will defeat Jim, just as Kirk defeated Khan. 

 

CUT TO—JIM IN CONFERENCE ROOM—TALKING HEAD

 

JIM:

Is it just me, or is Dwight acting a little strange lately?  He seems...excited...about something. 

 

CUT TO—PAM’S DESK

 

PAM is typing away on her computer.  A small portable fan is blowing on her.  MICHAEL approaches.  His shirt is untucked and his tie is very loose on his neck.

 

MICHAEL: (wiping his forehead)

Oh man.  Is it brutal in here or what?

 

PAM does not look up.

 

PAM:

Yeah.  It’s pretty hot actually.  I hope it’s this hot when we go to the beach next week.

 

MICHAEL:

Me too.  (breaths deep)  This is unbelievable.  I feel like we’re in the center of hell.  (chuckles) Which would make me the Devil.

 

PAM looks straight at the camera.

 

CUT TO—PAM IN CONFERENCE ROOM—TALKING HEAD

 

PAM:

The weather does get pretty hot around this time of year, but never this bad.  In fact, I don’t think Scranton has ever experienced a heat wave as long as this one.  It makes working pretty difficult.  Michael doesn’t seem to mind it.  I think he sees it as an excuse to dress like an idiot.

 

CUT TO—PAM’S DESK

 

MICHAEL:

You know, Pam.  If things get too uncomfortable for you, feel free to undo a couple buttons on that shirt of yours. 

 

PAM: (annoyed)

I think I’ll be fine, thank you.  This air conditioning in here is pretty good.

 

MICHAEL:

Yeah, it’s nice.  (to Ryan passing by) I wish Ryan would show off a little more flesh.  That would really heat things up.

 

RYAN makes no reply as he walks by. 

 

PAM: (quietly)

Okay, that was inappropriate.

 

MICHAEL:

Oh, hush. (sighs) God it is hot!  Let me see that fan of yours.

 

PAM:

What are you doing? Hello?

 

MICHAEL is reaching across PAM’S desk, grabs her fan, and holds it right in front of his face. 

 

MICHAEL:

Oh...this feels so good.

 

PAM:

I kind of need that back, Michael.

 

MICHAEL:

Five more minutes.

 

CUT TO—ACCOUNTANTS

 

OSCAR:

It is so hot.

 

KEVIN:

You’re right.  I can’t even breathe.

 

ANGELA: (covering her nose)

Breathing should be the least of your problems, Kevin.

 

KEVIN goes to respond but remains silent.  OSCAR indiscreetly leans his neck forward to sniff KEVIN.  Once he does, he jerks his head backwards, and shuffles his chair a few inches to the right.

 

CUT TO—KAREN’S DESK

 

KAREN is fanning herself with a manila folder.

 

CUT TO—KAREN IN CONFERENCE ROOM—TALKING HEAD

 

KAREN:

It is unbearably hot today.  Back in Stamford, the summers could be pretty rough, but never as bad as this.  If not for the central air in this building, I don’t think we’d ever get through the day.

 

CUT TO—KITCHEN

 

CREED walks into the kitchen and opens the fridge.  After browsing through its contents, he finally pulls out a large black jar.  He opens the jar, and pours all the remaining jalapeno peppers into his mouth.  After chewing and swallowing, he simply wipes his mouth with his sleeve and makes his way out of the room.

 

CUT TO—ANDY AT PRINTER—TALKING HEAD

 

ANDY: (calmly)

It is definitely warm outside, I will admit that.  But I’m not going to let it bother me.  That’s the least of my worries; you know what does worry me?  Hunger and starvation in third world countries.

 

CUT TO—OFFICE

 

DWIGHT is seated at his desk, as is JIM.  DWIGHT looks at his watch.  He gets up and walks toward the exit. 

 

JIM:

Where you going, Dwight?

 

DWIGHT: (very rehearsed and mechanical)

I am going out to my car to get a sweater.

 

JIM:

In this heat?

 

DWIGHT: (caught off guard)

Um, no, not a sweater...I meant a...hat.  For my head. 

 

JIM:

Um, okay.

 

DWIGHT turns.  He exhales deeply.  As he is exiting, he turns toward the camera.

 

DWIGHT: (whispers)

Sucker.

 

CUT TO—PARKING LOT

 

DWIGHT opens his car and pops the trunk. 

 

CUT TO—DWIGHT IN PARKING LOT—TALKING HEAD

 

DWIGHT: (holding up each item individually)

Here’s what I got.  A fire extinguisher.  A garden hose.  A live turtle.  And a soup ladle.  Question: How do all these seemingly random items come together?  Answer: You’ll just have to wait and see. (laughs) I have been waiting five long years for this moment. 

 

DWIGHT places all the things in a large box and begins to walk back.  However, when he gets halfway there, the garden hose falls out and lands on the pavement.  He rests the box on top of the central cooling condenser.  DWIGHT bends down and picks up the garden hose.  However, when he stands up, his elbow accidentally knocks the box over.  The soup ladle falls out of the box and slips through the grates into the cooling unit.  The spoon is heard rattling for a few seconds, and then the condenser stops completely.   

 

DWIGHT:

...oops.

 

CUT TO—OFFICE

 

A deafening “clanging” sound is heard in the ceiling.  A lot of people are seen covering their ears.

 

PAM: (screaming over the noise)

WHAT IS THAT?!?!?

 

ANDY:

I DON’T KNOW! It sounds like the ceiling is falling down!

 

The noise dies down. 

 

PHYLLIS:

What in the world was that?

 

STANLEY: (going back to his crossword)

I don’t know.  And I don’t care.

 

KAREN: (to JIM)

That was weird. 

 

JIM:

Yeah.  Haven’t heard that sound before.

 

MICHAEL emerges from his office.  He is wearing his hockey helmet for protection.

 

MICHAEL:

Everybody okay?

 

A few nods and “yeses” are perceptible.

 

MICHAEL: (to PAM)

How about you, Pam?

 

PAM: (noticing his headgear)

I’m fine...I think you can take your hockey gear off now.

 

MICHAEL:

Can never be too careful.

 

DWIGHT reenters from outside.

 

DWIGHT: (playing dumb)

What’s going on?

 

MICHAEL:

Nothing.  Something crashed really loudly.  We don’t know what it was yet.

 

DWIGHT: (nervously)

I see...

 

MICHAEL:

Where were you anyway?

 

DWIGHT:

Um, sweater...hat?

 

MICHAEL: (WTF?)

Never mind.  We have enough of a problem on our hands.

 

PHYLLIS hangs up her phone.

 

PHYLLIS:

That was Bob.  He says that the central air in the building is destroyed.  He thinks something got in it.

 

TOBY:

Did he say what it could have been?

 

PHYLLIS:

He said he doesn’t know yet.

 

DWIGHT sighs in momentary relief.

 

JIM:

But if the building has no air conditioning, then ——

 

MICHAEL:

Holy crap.  I can feel it getting hotter by the second.

 

CUT TO—ANDY IN CONFERENCE ROOM—TALKING HEAD

 

ANDY:

The lack of air conditioning definitely does not trouble me.  But do you know what does trouble me?......actually, the lack of air conditioning does trouble me.  A lot.

 

CUT TO—OFFICE

 

Everybody is fanning themselves, trying to find some small way to cool down.  MICHAEL emerges from his office.  He has taken off his jacket, tie, and shirt.  All he has on is a sleeve-less undershirt.  Black chest hair protrudes from underneath.

 

MICHAEL:

I spoke to Bob, and he said he already has men working on the system.  Cold air should be flowing in no time.

 

STANLEY:

What in God’s name are you wearing? Or should I say not wearing?

 

MICHAEL:

What?

 

PAM:

You look really silly, Michael.

 

MICHAEL:

I can’t try and beat the heat like the rest of you?

 

JIM:

Not like that.

 

CUT TO—PAM IN CONFERENCE ROOM—TALKING HEAD

 

PAM:

Michael in his undershirt is something no person should have to see.  Unfortunately, most of us have seen it three or four times.

 

CUT TO—OFFICE

 

KEVIN:

Michael, how are we supposed to work in this weather?  It’s over 100 degrees out.

 

MICHAEL: (mellow)

Chillax, Kevin.  Enjoy the weather.  Don’t be such a complainer.

 

OSCAR:

But, Michael, this is awful.  I can’t even concentrate. 

 

KELLY:

Especially with you walking around like some 70s porn star. It looks like you have a chinchilla stuffed under there. 

 

ANGELA: (avoiding looking at Michael)

I mean seriously.  Please put your shirt back on, Michael.

 

MICHAEL: (adamantly)

No, Angela, I will not put on my shirt.  Because this is America.  History Lesson.  Everybody: what is the greatest thing the founding fathers invented for us?

 

PAM:

Diet Coke?

 

MICHAEL: (thinks)

Absolutely not.

 

RYAN:

Pokemon?

 

MICHAEL:

Maybe, but not the one I’m thinking of.

 

DWIGHT: (pumping his fist)

The ballistic missile!

 

MICHAEL:

What? No, no, no, no! (sighs in frustration) The greatest thing the founding father gave us is the right to freedom of expression. I have the right to free expression, Angela. Did you know that?  It’s in the Gettysburg Address.

 

JIM looks at the camera amusedly. 

 

MICHAEL: (continuing)

And if I want to take off my shirt to stay cool, I damn well can. That is my right, and you cannot take it from me.  Maybe you should try expressing yourself every so often, Angela...It wouldn’t make you seem so damn scary.

 

ANGELA’S mouth is wide open. She turns to KEVIN for backup.

 

KEVIN: (shrugs)

You can be a little intimidating.

 

ANGELA:

At least I don’t stink.

 

CUT TO—WINDOW OVERLOOKING THE PARKING LOT

 

CREED is seen out in the parking lot, fully clothed, pouring water from DWIGHT’S hose all over his body.

 

CREED: (sopping wet)

I once was once held prisoner beneath the Mexican border for six weeks.  It had to do with some bandits I owed money to.  I know how to beat the heat.

 

CUT TO—PAM’S DESK

 

Even PAM is beginning to sweat.  The small fan is still going but does not appear to be making any difference.  She looks at the camera.

 

PAM: (whispering to the camera)

You know what?  I could care less what Michael might say at this point...it’s too hot.

 

PAM covertly undoes a few of her buttons, letting an ever so subtle hint of cleavage poke through.  She then brings the fan closer to her, and the winds cause her shirt to become even a little more revealing.  JIM is reading a document as this is happening.  He involuntarily looks towards PAM for one second, and then does a huge double take when he sees her doing this.  He then quickly looks at the camera a little embarrassed, and then returns to the document, making sure not to look back up again. 

 

KEVIN has just walked over to PAM’S desk.  PAM is facing the other way.

 

KEVIN:

Can I talk to you for a second, Pam?

 

PAM:

Sure, Kev.

 

PAM turns towards KEVIN.  KEVIN’S eyes widen.

 

KEVIN: (noticing PAM’S cleavage)

Um, it’s just, um...

 

PAM:

What is it?

 

KEVIN shakes his head, trying to regain his concentration.  However, he cannot.  He begins to walk away backwards, keeping his eyes focused on PAM’S chest the whole time.  As KEVIN is leaving, MICHAEL is approaching.

 

MICHAEL: (noticing PAM)

Wowie zowie, Pam.  Glad to see you’re finally giving those puppies some air.

 

PAM immediately buttons her shirt back up.  She looks at the camera and just rolls her eyes.

 

CUT TO—BREAK ROOM

 

ANGELA is seated.  DWIGHT enters and sits down at a separate table.

 

ANGELA

Hello, Angela.

 

DWIGHT:

Hello, Dwight.

 

ANGELA:

Very interesting weather we have today, isn’t it?

 

DWIGHT:

Oh, yes.  Quite warm.

 

ANGELA: (coyly)

And for some reason, I think tonight it’s only going to get hotter.

 

ANGELA quickly exits.  DWIGHT is smiling devilishly. 

 

CUT TO—STANLEY IN CONFERENCE ROOM—TALKING HEAD

 

STANLEY:

I have worked through all kinds of difficulties in this office: bats, fleas, Michael, fire drills.  So, no, I do not care about a little heat.   

 

CUT TO—DWIGHT IN CONFERENCE ROOM—TALKING HEAD

 

DWIGHT:

I think its ridiculous how much the weather is affecting this office.  The Schrutes have always had a high tolerance for heat.  We hardly ever burn. It probably comes from our hours of work in the family beet fields.  Either that or high doses of melanin.

 

CUT TO—MICHAEL’S OFFICE 

 

MICHAEL is at his desk, still clad in nothing more than his undershirt.  He is holding a sports water bottle in his hand, and is squirting massive amounts of water onto his face.  There is a knock at his door.

 

MICHAEL:

Come in.

 

PAM enters, carrying a folder filled with papers.

 

PAM:

Michael, you need to finish signing a few documents concerning the Brennan deal. 

 

MICHAEL: (groans)

It’s hot enough without you nagging me every ten seconds.

 

PAM:

You seem to be doing fine.  And you’re not the only one who’s feeling uncomfortable today.

 

MICHAEL:

Why don’t you ever come into my office with good news anymore, Pam?

 

PAM:

It’s just...those papers are really important.

 

MICHAEL:

Here, try this.  Leave my office, shut the door, and then come back when you have some good news.

 

PAM just drops the folder on MICHAEL’S desk and exits.

 

CUT TO—MICHAEL’S OFFICE—TALKING HEAD

 

MICHAEL:

It’s too hot to work right now.  I know it, my employees know it.  So what do what does a good boss do?  Does he...send them home?  Does he...make them work through it?  No.  A good boss always thinks of that third option. 

 

CUT TO—OFFICE

 

MICHAEL is clapping his hands to gain everybody’s attention.     

 

MICHAEL:

All right, everyone follow me outside.

 

PHYLLIS:

Where are we going?

 

MICHAEL:

We’re gonna go have some fun in the sun. Oscar knows what I’m talking about. (to Oscar) It’ll be just like the beaches of Puerto Rico that you grew up on.

 

OSCAR:

I’m Mexican, Michael.

 

CUT TO-THE PARKING LOT

 

PHYLLIS:

It’s just as hot in here as it is in there. I don’t understand why we aren’t upstairs finishing our work.

 

STANLEY: (holding a crossword puzzle)

This is fine by me. All I care about figuring out the six letter last name of the actor who played Nick in Deer Hunter.

 

RYAN:

Walken. I’m pretty sure it was Christopher Walken.

 

STANLEY:

Haha! Boy, no wonder Michael loves you!

 

CUT TO-BEHIND THE BUILDING

 

DWIGHT and ANGELA are standing alone by a bush.

 

DWIGHT:

You know, we have some...free time right now. And I installed windows onto my Trans Am tinted to the maximum extent allowed by Pennsylvania law.

 

ANGELA:

Not now, Dwight. We can control ourselves. We’re not like...other people in the office.

 

The two are silent for a few seconds. Then, unable to control herself, ANGELA embarrassedly succumbs to the heat and rolls up her sleeves. DWIGHT stares at her.

 

DWIGHT: (tensely)

What are you doing, woman?

 

ANGELA: (sternly)

It’s hot. I’m rolling up my sleeves...I-I don’t care if anybody sees me.

 

DWIGHT:

Are you aware that there is still a serial flasher on the loose? Question: Do you value your safety?!

 

CUT TO-FRONT OF BUILDING

 

KAREN: (to JIM)

And you complained when we played Call of Duty?

 

JIM:

Well at least—

 

KELLY:

OMIGOD!!

 

MICHAEL appears in the doorway. HE is still wearing HIS undershirt. Instead of pants, HE is wearing a Spongebob bathing suit. HE is also barefoot. There is a large bucket next to HIM.

 

CUT TO-KELLY AT SIDE OF BUILDING-TALKING HEAD

 

KELLY:

Don’t tell Ryan I said this, but Michael is totally the hottest one in the office. But not in, like, a Justin Timberlake type way. Kind of like a Harrison Ford way. They’re about the same age, right?

 

CUT TO-FRONT OF BUILDING

 

In the background, DWIGHT and ANGELA are seen discreetly joining the rest of the group.

 

MICHAEL:

Is everyone ready to get there chill on?

 

KEVIN: (eagerly)

Yes.

 

Nobody else responds. Everyone stares at KEVIN.

 

KEVIN:

Well...I am.

 

MICHAEL:

You are right my voluptuous friend.

 

Everyone exchanges looks of bewilderment.

 

CUT TO-PAM AT SIDE OF BUILDING-TALKING HEAD

 

PAM:

For his birthday, I got Michael one of those calendars that have a new vocabulary word on it every day. He loves sounding smart. The only problem is that sometimes he mixes up the meanings of words...I’m hoping that’s the case this time.

 

CUT TO-FRONT OF BUILDING

MICHAEL walks into the parking lot carrying the bucket. Suddenly, he puts the bucket down and begins hopping around once his feet come into contact with the asphalt.

 

MICHAEL:

Hot! Hot! Ahh! It hurts!

 

ANDY:

Don’t worry, boss. I gotcha covered.

 

ANDY takes off his jacket and puts it on the ground. MICHAEL walks onto it to relieve his feet.

 

MICHAEL:

Phew...that was painful.

 

CUT TO-MICHAEL AT SIDE OF BUILDING-TALKING HEAD

 

MICHAEL:

Okay so I have sensitive feet? NBD. It’s not like I’m ever walking across a pit of flaming coals.

 

CUT TO-FRONT OF BUILDING

 

MICHAEL:

What is the best way to stay cool?

 

MEREDITH raises her hand. 

 

MEREDITH:

Get hammered with like 12 margaritas.

 

MICHAEL:

Um...not what I was looking for...the best way is with water. The drink of life. H20. So we are going to have...(He reaches into the bucket and pulls out a blue water balloon) a water balloon fight!

 

ANGELA:

I really don’t think that’s appropriate.

 

MICHAEL:

Well let me ask you this Angela? Is dropping dead of a heat stroke appropriate?

 

TOBY:

Michael, you really—

 

TOBY is cut off when he is hit in the face by the blue water balloon. The camera turns to see MICHAEL dancing around on ANDY’S jacket, throwing his fists in the air and rejoicing over the fact that he hit his target. The camera then looks back to TOBY, standing still and not saying anything, HIS face and the front of HIS clothes saturated.

 

CUT TO-TOBY AT SIDE OF BUILDING-TALKING HEAD

 

TOBY: (half-smiling)

Any other day and I’d be steaming. But today...it felt good.

 

CUT TO-FRONT OF BUILDING

 

JIM: (to RYAN)

As a kid did you ever run the neighborhood playing tag with water guns?

 

RYAN:

Oh yeah—

 

DWIGHT approaches.

 

DWIGHT:

What are you losers talking about?

 

JIM:

Nothing.  We were both just remembering how, as kids, we used to play with water guns. And ——

 

DWIGHT: (interrupting)

If we were to have a water gun battle right now I could easily take you both down.

 

CUT TO-DWIGHT AT SIDE OF BUILDING-TALKING HEAD

 

DWIGHT:

Playing laser tag every week is not cheap. Sometimes during the summer my team and I just have water gun wars instead.

 

CUT TO-FRONT OF BUILDING

 

JIM:

I’ll tell you what, Dwight. Next time the three of us are armed with water guns, we’ll hold you to that.

 

DWIGHT:

Well, Jim, that day is today. I happen to keep some of my artillery in the warehouse.

 

RYAN:

And why would you do that?

 

DWIGHT:

In my frequent summer night water gun battles, we tend to run all over the neighborhood. If I ever find myself here, I will be assured that I am well armed. If I ever find myself near Michael’s house, I have 26 water grenades hidden in his garage.

 

TOBY:

You know that it’s against company policy to use the warehouse for personal storage, right?

 

DWIGHT does not hear him, for he has run into the building.

 

JIM and RYAN look at each other. DWIGHT returns about a minute later holding a large, colorful, plastic object.

 

JIM:

What...is that?

 

DWIGHT: (bragging)

This, my ignorant associate, is the latest in water shooting technology. This is the Super Soaker Max Infusion, fully equipped with a CPS pressure system and an expanded reservoir.

 

RYAN:

What about us?

 

DWIGHT puts his Super Soaker down and reaches into his pockets. HE pulls out two very small water guns, one green and one pink. HE hands JIM the pink one and RYAN the green.

 

DWIGHT:

I took the liberty of filling them all up for you. Not that more water could possibly help you two. Now, who’s hiding first?

 

RYAN:

I guess we—

 

JIM: (cutting off RYAN)

You, of course. If we hid, you’d find us right away.

 

DWIGHT: (pleased with himself)

A wise decision. Close your eyes and count to 60 using standard regulation Mississippi seconds.

 

JIM and RYAN close their eyes. DWIGHT runs off. After they hear him leaving, they open their eyes.

 

RYAN:

We’re not really going after him, are we?

 

JIM: (grinning)

For someone who’s been here for two and a half years, you sure have a lot to learn.

 

JIM walks over to KAREN.

 

KAREN:

Where’ve you been?

 

JIM:

You know, the usual. Saving the world from destruction.

 

KAREN laughs. Then, JIM pulls out the pink water gun and playfully shoots KAREN with it. She starts running away and JIM, jokingly, chases her around, still shooting. PAM looks at them jealously.

 

MICHAEL: (voiceover)

You know, sometimes bad things like an air conditioner breaking can be more of a blessing in disguise. Kind of like the Titanic. Sure, it’s sad that the ship sunk but we also got the greatest movie of all time, didn’t we? But it’s only in cases like this where we band together to fight the common enemy: the sun.

 

CUT TO-BEHIND THE BUILDING LATE AT NIGHT

 

DWIGHT is seen hiding in a bush, clutching his Super Soaker. He hears a rustling nearby and he shoots at the ground, hitting nothing. Suddenly, he notices the CAMERAMAN and, not realizing who he is, shoots at him. Water completely covers the screen.

 

DWIGHT:

...my bad.

 

 

~END~

 

 

 

 

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