I had a conversation with a friend and afterwords he came up to me and said "I hope I didn't offend you". I had no idea what he was talking about, I had to replay the conversation to try to recall what he might have been referring to. He fired a few arrows and they hit like sponge balls, I simply did not give it a thought.
If you have been reading, learning and practicing the information on this web site you have already discovered that practicing forgiveness is pretty easy. Thankfulness, generosity, acceptance, patience and compassion all play a major role in the process. Your mindfulness skills will even give you the ability to chose not to be affected by someone who has treated you wrong.
You may have learned from the previous compassion section that if we react to an event with a negative emotion such as anger, it will just create more negative emotions such as resentment, hostility, and hatred. This emotions just bounce from one to the other in our right prefrontal cortex and as a result we are only hurting our self. You make even think that revenge or justice will relieve the pain but it may only relieve the hostility.
In the Bible, the apostle Peter asked Jesus: “Lord, how many times is my brother to sin against me and am I to forgive him? Up to seven times?” Jesus replied: “I say to you, not, up to seven times, but, up to seventy-seven times.” In other words, do not count the offenses just keep forgiving. Some would say that being forgiving makes a person more righteous, today we know that being forgiving simply makes a person healthier and happier. It makes no sense to take offense, bottle it up, and save it. Being unforgiving is like taking poison, it adds to our stress levels which just creates more health problems.
Of course this does not mean we forget the offense, we learn from it. Like a child who touches a hot plate learns to be much more careful or just to stay away from it all together. Of course, this is especially true when the offense is more than just words.
There are no tips and tricks for cultivating forgiveness, it is just a very sweet fruit that comes from Thinking Artfully.