Prayer Request

Your online prayer request opens the door, and God is waiting patiently on the other side of that door, at all times, in all situations, to join with you. We pray to him as we feel he needs to be informed that his almighty plan is a bit shit sometimes and he should change it just because we ask him to.

Your prayer request is received by our Prayer Request Team who will pray on your behalf for the next 30 days. You know - something along the lines of "This bloke I never met needs shit - sort it out" or similar. After you submit your prayer request, you will be automatically presented with a link to our prayer resources page where you can find additional support in receiving an answer to your prayer. We recommend chanting, dancing and dressing up funny. It probably doesn't do anything, but it always makes us feel much better. Oh, and don't forget to discriminate against certain people simply because a 2000 year old book written by a bunch of goat herders tells you that you should.

Please know that you are a holy and precious Child of God and that God is always with you. Even when awful things happen to you for no reason. 

Many blessings to you,

Our Prayer Request Team

UPDATE: Due to the unfortunate lack of any evidence for the efficacy of prayer, we are currently unable to offer this service. Notice that this doesn't actually change the effect of submitting a request.