I’ve been reluctant to discuss my unemployment because I didn’t want people’s sympathy, encouragement or advice (truth be told). We have a tendency to want to help, which is good but there’s really only one way to truly help and most people can’t. They can be supportive, but they can’t help. And there is a difference.
The most common reaction I’ve gotten from friends is “how are you going to pay your bills?” It’s a legitimate question but it’s quite the whammy to throw down on someone who has to consider that every day. I simply say, “I’m good for awhile.”
After a few weeks I got really annoyed by that question and discussed it with Doctor Chuck, my therapist. We determined that such a question could be a manifestation of people’s own fears of being in this situation transferred onto me – or maybe a legitimate concern. But why not alleviate your fears and your concerns by just writing a check?
Therefore, if it doesn’t come up in conversation, I don’t bring it up. When I meet new people at book readings, comedy shows or at a bar and they ask me what I do, I confidently say that I’m a writer.
I tell them about my blog, the Erick Davidson short story series, the media commentaries and other projects I create for myself to keep busy such as the actor profiles and forthcoming new weekly recaps of the new FOX series Allen Gregory (availability pending).
They don’t need to know that I don’t get paid for it yet. And it probably doesn’t even matter to them.
This is my third bout with unemployment – the first from November 2005 to September 2006 when I lived in New York and the second from July 2009 to December 2009 when I returned to LA from Massachusetts.
So it’s all good, my friends. I don’t have all the answers and I haven’t a clue what 2012 has in store for me, but it’s all good. I’m not going to lie and say I don’t have my moments because I do. And I haven’t spoken much about those moments until now.
But I have to tell myself that it’s all good to avoid panicking, going back to advertising (which I abjectly refuse to do) or taking some other shit job I don’t want. If I panic, I’ll lie in bed all day and pray not to wake up the next morning so I don’t have to face another day of de facto rejection of what I have to offer. I did that a lot in 2006.
I don’t know how I made it through those last two bouts, but I did. However, the stakes seem a bit higher this time, so I’m exercising a higher level of faith in God and/or the Universe than I ever have in my entire life – partially because I have to, partially because I have NO other choice and partially because I’m doing my part so it’s only fair that the proverbial net catches me before I go splat on the proverbial ground.
Original Fiction from a Sitcom Mind > The Halls of Shambala > The Non-Fiction Archives: 2012-2014 > The Unemployment Chronicles >