2011 Oyster Bowl -- ODuhU

2011 Oyster Bowl – Mighty Dukes versus Old Dominion Butterflies
Greetings all you Purple Wave Surfers, and welcome to the first ever Purple Wave – Extreme Guest Writer Makeover Edition!  DirtyDukes here; coming off the bench because the Purple Wave was unable to start this week – the rumors that he failed a team drug test are patently untrue, man.   Although, it would explain why he didn’t start last week, either.   Other rumors include that he was actually out in the fields of Hanover looking for Robert Wood, Jr.  Multiple sources are now saying that it was our own Purple Wave who found the courageous boy; just another example of how JMU alums continue to BE THE CHANGE.  I promise to do my best to uphold the standard set by Purple Wave, but seeing as I lack the class, intelligence, and experience of our regular author you’ll forgive me for falling short. 
Recap – JMU VS Bye and Around the CAA
The Dukes continued to dominate the series versus annual floormat Bye University; however, the win wasn’t enough to prevent multiple JMU Fans from continuing to criticize the head coach after 0 passes last weekend. 
As for the CAA picture, Delaware firmly cemented their exit from the playoff picture after advancing to the National Championship Game last year, losing to Lil Rhody 38-34.  The Particularly Blue Hens are now mathematically ineligible for the playoffs as they can only advance to 6 Division 1 wins.    Dirty was able to watch the game online (TOTALLY LEGALLY), and Delaware looked flat coming out the gate.  Of note was an incredible play late in the second half when Rhode Island’s long snapper sent a punt over the head of the Punter to inside their own 10, only to have the punter scramble back, scoop the ball, and get a punt off back to around the 50.  Delaware’s returner tried to take advantage of the already good field position but muffed the scoop allowing Rhode Island to recover.   Just bad football.
League co-leader Maine was able to come back from a 16 point deficit to Richmond University, entirely in the fourth-quarter, pulling out a close win 23-22.  Some Dukes fans were tempted to root for the Tics last weekend, and some even did, but let Maine’s incredible 4th quarter comeback serve as a warning for Dukes fans:  We weren’t meant to root for them.  It’s unnatural.  It disturbs the natural order of things.  It’s like Red Sox fans rooting for the Yankees, or Tea Partyers rooting for Occupy Wall Street.  Instead we should be rejoicing at their failure.  And fail they did.  Giving up 23 points in the 4th?  They do play in a soccer stadium, so maybe someone got a red card and they were playing down a man?   What a pitiful, pitiful performance in an extremely important league game.  Regardless, a heartfelt “____ (thank, screw, other more creative options)You ” to Richmond for their incredible display of incompetence.  It was a joy to watch you fail so miserably.  Nothing makes this Dukes fan happier.
In other games, UNH defeated UMass in the last game of their rivalry that will be played at the same level.  Let’s hope the Dukes can give Massachusetts a similar sendoff to the MAC. 

The Monarchs defeated Villanova 37-14, continuing to inflate their overdeveloped sense of accomplishment.  But more on that later.

Co-league leader Towson (Seriously, I’m not joking.  It took me 3 tries to type that because my mind can’t fathom it) beheaded William and Mary’s hopes for a playoff berth by defeating the Tribe 38-27.  The Griffins have been cited with Public Indecency for not wearing pants and at most 6 Division 1 wins.  Shout out to the Tigers for being a league co-leader.  Shout out to Towson’s only fan, Andy!  You guys are quite the turnaround story from last year and the Dukes can honestly say we are glad you aren’t on the regular season schedule.


The Non-Rivalry Rivalry
A lot has been made about the hype this week regarding it being a rivalry.  The two-schools familiarity in other sports, geographical proximity, and alumni connections are all major factors that make the hype for this game stand out.  Understandably, Coach Matthews wants to motivate his team to not overlook a team in its first season in the league.  I can even understand why Coach Bobbi Wilder and his sidekick Rich “Bobbi’s #1” Radford are trying to downplay the “Rivalry” aspect of it – they want it to seem like JMU wants this more than ODU.   But I guarantee you two things – ODU players want this game way more, and Bobbi’s hyping up the rivalry aspect to his team, even while denying it publicly. 
Old Dominion has come into league play and surprised everyone.  DirtyDukes is the first to admit he is surprised at how well ODU has played this year.  They’ve had an incredible first year in the CAA, and should be commended.   However, their fans seem to think since their program is only 3 years old, they can act like 3 year olds. 
Despite it being a logical opinion at the beginning of this season, Butterfly fans were and continue to be outraged that other CAA fans didn’t expect them to come in and win right away.  “You guys doubted us!” “We got no respect!”  “LOUD NOISES!” -- all commonly heard phrases from the ODU fanbase.  They voraciously go after anyone who might suggest the CAA is not as strong as it has been in the past, and vehemently deny any statistical facts that might suggest their potent offense is a paper giant benefitting from weak strength of schedule.  Nevermind that they only scored 10 offensive points against Delaware.   That their out of conference schedule included Pioneer Campbell, MEAC Hampton, or barely FCS Georgia State.   That their league victories come against the 6th, 9th, and 11th place CAA  teams.  That their girls are Ugly and their academic standards are poor.  Those aren’t important.  What’s important is that they call trick plays!  And their coach is willing to call an onsides kick whenever!  They pass the ball!! We Almost beat Towson!!! FLAGSHIP, BABY!!

Also, don’t even think to bring up statistics that favor JMU.   CAA leading 4th in the country Rushing attack? “You’ve never faced a front four like ours.”   Dukes have the #1 CAA Scoring Defense “We score 30 a game (Against Campbell!)”  JMU is 9-1 coming out of a bye week under Mickey “You’ve never played at a venue like Foreman Field before!”  All of your tickets are up for sale on Craigslist because you have fairweather fans.  “It’s mostly other ODU fans buying them!”


I know some of you JMU fans are worried about losing.  You’ve seen ODU’s fast start, and you’ve let their offensive numbers worry you.  You’ve ever posted predictions with JMU losing the game.  I understand where you’re coming from, but I’ve only got one thing to say:  STREAMER THE F*** UP.  This is James Madison Football we’re talking about.   Maybe you’ve heard of it.  We’re the program that won 4 road games in 2004 to win a National Championship.  We’re the team that’s gone 40-16 in the toughest league in the land in the last 7 years.  We’re the team that Virginia Tech has bad dreams about.  And until someone proves it against US on the field, WE’RE THE TEAM THAT’S GOING TO WIN. 

We’re the team with the best fans in the nation, according to DJ Bryant.  We’re the fans that have the best road attendance in the CAA.  We’re the fans that fill up other teams stadiums so much they downgrade to soccer stadiums.  We’re the fans that other teams love to hate and hate to envy.   We’re the fans that showed up and demanded a new stadium.  We’re the fans who tailgate on the road just like we do at home.   We’re the fans who roll into other teams stadiums 8 streamers deep.  We’re the fans who get kicked out, arrested, harassed because we refuse to let one point go by without a filling the sky with purple paper.  AND UNTIL SOMEONE COMES ALONG AND PROVES IT TO US, WE’RE THE BEST DAMN FANS IN THE CAA.

We’ll see you in Norfolk on Saturday, rain or shine.  Let’s hope the ODU Fans have a similar dedication.
Dirty Lowdown Prediction:   DirtyDukes Dukes:   35   Butterflies:   7
Purple Wave Prediction:     JMU:    34       ODuhU:    17

Copyright 2011 by DirtyDukes.  They don't call him Dirty for nothing!   All rights reserved.

Kudos for Dirty for standing in during a particularly difficult week for the Purple Wave. But seriously, major thanks to DirtyDukes for coming off the bench and scoring big!  Kudos also to God for bringing Little Robbie home safe and alive!   The Purple Wave is not affiliated with James Madison University other than by a diploma and a student.


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