The Nonkey Brothers History

P. Marshall

For the time being, this is where the story starts. There was another Nonkey Brothers before THE Nonkey Brothers. The former Nonkey Brothers were formed by Peter Marshall and Steve Mann in 1986, like a comedy Phoenix rising from the flames of a rock band called ‘X-Pressure’. Steve was the vocalist and guitarist in X-Pressure, and Pete played bass guitar. Another prominent member of X-Pressure who was to feature in the story of the Nonkey Brothers was Martin Drake who played lead guitar.

After the serious band, X-Pressure, had imploded (“We wanna get a recording deal and be famous”), Pete and Steve looked for an alternative medium for their creative outpourings, something which was not quite so serious; the first incarnation of the Nonkey Brothers was born.


Steve and Pete set about writing simple, silly songs, often based on clichéd, listener friendly chord progressions. Early songs included ‘Dateline’ about a guy who liked girls with big ‘gazonkas’, ‘The Bird and the Bees’ about a Doctor Doolittle character who spoke to the birds and the bees (and then inanimate objects) and ‘Stickle’ about a hedgehog. In those days the songs were more innocent and less crude – and ultimately, not very funny.

But the concept of a simple, foot tapping sing-alongs was forged.

The songs were all recorded in my bedroom, using a Boss ‘Doctor Rhythm’ drum machine, a Roland SH101 synthesizer (I wish I’d kept it – it’s a classic now), a Casio CZ5000 synthesizer, an Aria bass guitar, a couple of acoustic and electric guitars, a Tascam 4-track cassette portastudio and a lot of experimentation.

Some 62 songs were written by Pete and Steve between 1986 and 1987, and these were release locally on compact cassette under the following album titles:

  • Wind Ya Neck In
  • Let’s Be Salad (a live recording from The Rose and Crown, Sandhurst, Berkshire, 22 November 1986)
  • No Sleep ‘til Chipping Sodbury (titled after the Motorhead album of the same era, ‘No Sleep Til Hammersmith’)
  • Nightmare on Darby Green Lane

29 of the best songs were also release on the ‘best of’ cassette called “The Second Greatest Rock ‘n’ Roll Swindle”.

The Nonkey Brothers only played three gigs, the Rose and Crown gig recorded for the aforementioned “Let’s Be Salad” recording, a Christmas gig supporting local band ‘Split Into’ at Frogmore School on 27 December 1986, and an open air gig at the 1987 Sandhurst Carnival, sponsored by Lionel Bolton the greengrocer (sadly, no longer with us).

The first gig just featured Steve and Pete with their guitars. I remember we didn’t get paid because the ladies toilets got wrecked (thanks Julie!)

For the Christmas gig we got a drummer by the name of Paul Rance, and a bassist who was called Graham (never knew his surname). We’d known them for several years and I had played with them in an early version of a band which became “Shoot The Moon”.

For the Carnival gig we got Andy Smifff (“one ‘f’ or two?”, “free”), formerly of “Which Ones Maurice”, to play drums and Simon Leppard to play bass guitar. Simon, my best mate at school (we learned to play guitar together), would later be the longstanding bass player with the future Nonkey Brothers line-up. All three gigs were a great success, and relied heavily on alcohol fuelled audiences participating both on and off the stage, and lots of joking around.

Of all the songs we wrote, only ‘Fat Girls and Mopeds’ and ‘Oggie, Oggie, Oggie’ survived and became staples of future Nonkey Brothers live set.

In true Rock ‘n’ Roll style after Pete had ‘known’ Steve’s girlfriend, Steve became all Biblical and the Nonkey Brothers format did not fit his new found religious beliefs. The Nonkey Brothers ceased to exist, and Pete joined a band call ‘Night Train to Memphis

The following songs from the early era are free to download. We will make the full back catalogue of early Nonkey songs available for purchase if there is enough interest.

The “Night Train To Memphis” years (1987-1989) were a blur of sex and drink and rock ‘n’ roll, and I really don’t remember much about it. We did covers of 50’s and 60’s rock ‘n’ roll classics, and I do remember that we were really good. We did tons of gigs, and I guess that’s where I learnt to take the bad gigs as well as the good ones. The straw that broke the donkey’s dick was a Christmas gig we did at Farnborough Town Football Club. The club members wanted a disco not a band. We pulled out all of the stops on that gig but they wanted “Le Freak” not “Bebop Lula”. It always remind me of the Blues Brothers gig where the audience wanted country and western, not rhythm and blues (that’s 60’s R’n’B, not the warbly Craig David R’n’B of todays younger generation!).

I have a recording of “Night Train To Memphis” if anyone’s interested.

I met Nigel Groves at a Toga Party. He was an instantly funny guy.

I remember he’d invented this thing called “Willy Popping”, where your dancing partner was your imaginary 6 foot willy. Nige’ had no musical background, but he did have an Amiga computer and some MIDI music software called “Music X”. Hooked up to a couple of Roland MIDI synthesizer modules we were able to work out music on the guitar and programming it into the Amiga, and then play it back using all types of different, synthesized instruments. We quickly assembled a number of original comedy songs, and the Nonkey Brothers were re-born.

I should mention, at this point, that there is another significant other who helped make the Nonkey Brothers what they are. I’d known Mike Auld for some time - he was a work colleague. He was (and still is) a classically trained piano player. However, it wasn’t until the new Nonkey Brothers formed that we really got to know each other in a musical sense. Mike became the third Nonkey Brother, and played Yamaha DX7 keyboards all over the new tracks.

The first “album” from the new Nonkey Brothers was released on compact cassette in 1989.


Now That’s What We Call Crap Too

All songs ©1989 N. Groves and P. Marshall


Track listing:

  1. TOTP Sketch
  2. Peter The Purple Headed Penis Eater
  3. Omnipresent Fred
  4. Boardwalk Sketch
  5. Big Bad Badoobies
  6. I’ve Got A Bad Memory
  7. Candy’s Hand Shandy
  8. Horror Turd Sketch
  9. I Eat Shit
  10. Fart Party/Do You Wanna Dance
  11. Baboon Improv
  12. Gospel Improv
  13. FAC Sketch
  14. Willy Poppin
  15. Riding My Horsey
  16. Into The Vicars Knickers
  17. Boardwalk Sketch 2
  18. One Up The Bum (Instrumental)
  19. She’s Gone
  20. Boardwalk Sketch 3
  21. Too Hip To Bop
  22. Your Willy’s Hanging Out
  23. I Don’t Wanna Go To Heaven
  24. Horror Pizza Sketch
  25. French Bonking
  26. How To Act With Girls

The ‘Now’ album was a mish-mash of influences. At the time I was influenced by the immediacy of Country and Western (‘Peter The Purple Headed Penis Eater’) and the simplicity of rock ‘n’ roll (‘Candy’s Hand Shandy’), and Nige was influenced by many of the disco/dance tracks of that era (ref. ‘Willy Popping’ and ‘French Bonking’). The country style guitar finger picking on ‘Peter The Purple Headed Penis Eater’ had first appeared on a song I wrote called ‘ I Wish I Didn’t Have Short Legs’ with the first Nonkeys. This style would continue to appear throughout future Nonkey recordings and would become known as ‘The Nonkeys Dumpty’ style.

‘I’ve Got A Bad Memory’, ‘Candy’s Hand Shandy’ and ‘Fart Party’ would become part of the Nonkeys early live set, but later would all be dropped in favour of other songs.

Another feature of the Nonkey Brother albums was the messing around and improvisation. The following ‘sketches’ were completely improvised.

  • How To Act With Girls
  • Martin On Top Of The Pops
  • Under The Boardwalk Sketch
  • The Baboon Improvisation
  • The Gospel Improvisation
  • The FAC Off Sketch
  • The Horror Pizza Sketch

My personal fav’s?

  • The guitar riff on ‘Omnipresent Fred’
  • ‘Candy’s Hand Shandy’ and especially Mikes keyboard solo.
  • ‘I Eat Shit’ (although Nige hates this song)
  • ‘Riding My Horsey’, the lyrics of which re-emerged during the best man speech at Nige’s wedding.
  • Shes Gone’ an absolute classic.


All songs ©1990 N.Groves and P. Marshall


Track listing:

  1. The Devil Went Down To Chipping Norton
  2. Dobby Dider
  3. Plankton Need Love Too
  4. Microwave Maniac
  5. Impossible Bob
  6. Lee’s Lightship
  7. Rodney Spencer (the man from MENSA)
  8. I Can’t Play An F Chord
  9. Lump At The Front
  10. Oi Mate, Got Any Cheese?
  11. Dirty Little Things
  12. The Ballad Of Milton Morgan
  13. Intercourse On Sunday Morning
  14. Bad Habits
  15. Big Bollocks (Girlies)
  16. Forest
  17. Come Gather Ye Round
  18. F*ck Off Father Christmas
  19. In Your Thighs
  20. Big Bollocks (Heroes)
  21. Abusive Reclusive
  22. Winkle
  23. Big Flo

‘Something’ saw Nige taking on more writing and programming responsibility that had been the case in ‘Now’. This album has some Nonkey classics that are still performed live today. Since their creation, the following have been part of the Nonkey’s live performance, with ‘Lee’s Lightship’ often being extended as a crowd pleasing encore.

  • The Devil Went Down To Chipping Norton
  • Dobby Dider
  • Microwave Maniac
  • Lee’s Lightship
  • Come Gather Ye Round
  • F*ck Off Father Christmas

My personal fav’s?

  • ‘The Devil Went Down To Chipping Norton’ - Inspired by the Charlie Daniels Band “The Devil Went To Georgia”. Mrs Kidgell knitted us two multi-coloured tank tops which we wore on stage.
  • I always wanted to perform ‘Abusive Reclusive’ live, but Nige’ just could not bring himself to sing ‘Fucking Fuck Off, Fuck Off Fucking Fuckers’ with his mum in the audience. Shame.
  • ‘The Ballad of Milton Morgan’ took ages to program and record, and it wasn’t even that funny. It later became a lesson in ‘not spending too much time on a song’.

In 1990 we formed a band to continue our live performances. Simon Leppard joined us on bass guitar, Mike Auld on keyboard and Nige's work colleague, Richard (Dickie) Aitken joined on drums. I remember he latched on to Nige' at work telling him "I'm really good" and Nige' didn't believe it - we thought he was a stalker. Anyhow, we finally let him jam with us and he was REALLY good. But he didn't have his own drum kit - we had to drive him to Nottingham to pick a mates "toytown" drum kit.

Lionel Blair

All songs ©1991 N. Groves and P. Marshall


  1. Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairies
  2. My Pussy’s On Fire
  3. I Love You (You’re My Doctor)
  4. Hi Technology
  5. I’ve Got A Fat Cock
  6. Squits
  7. Freak Family
  8. I Don’t Wanna Go Out With You No More
  9. Road Hog
  10. I Don’t Want To Be a Nigel
  11. Snickers In Her Knickers
  12. Rags For Slags
  13. Sister South Africa
  14. Sexual Frustration
  15. Hutton’s Uniformitarian Theory
  16. I Hate You (Fuck off, you’re a Wanker)
  17. Let’s Go Back To Nature
  18. ACME DIY Liposuction Kit
  19. Psycho Sooty
  20. A Night At The Opera (AKA Willy Bauman’s Pubic Hair)
  21. Theobold Noggin

‘Lionel Blair’ saw a more sophisticated approach to song writing. Instead of three-chord progressions and repeating drum loops of previous albums, songs like ‘I Love You (You’re My Doctor)’, ‘Hutton’s Uniformitarian Theory’ and ‘Let’s Go Back To Nature’ had introductions, verses, choruses and even middle eights. Great songs, but it was the following tracks which made it to the live performance:

  • My Pussy’s On Fire
  • I’ve Got A Fat Cock
  • Freak Family
  • Road Hog
  • I Don’t Want To Be a Nigel
  • Rags For Slags
  • Sexual Frustration
  • ACME DIY Liposuction Kit

Of these ‘Freak Family’, ‘Rags For Slags’ and ‘ACME DIY Liposuction Kit’ still remain in the live set.

Note the ‘dumpty’ theme prevailing on ‘My Pussy’s On Fire’, ‘I Don’t Want To Be a Nigel’ and ‘I Hate You (Fuck Off, You’re A Wanker)’.

My personal fav’s?

  • ‘I Love You (You’re My Doctor)’, inspired by having to deliver a stool sample to a very attractive female doctor who was young enough to be my girlfriend.
  • ‘Rags For Slags’ inspired by Ragamuffins nightclub in Camberley. Sadly no longer there, but in between girlfriends we’d there on a Wednesday night cos that was ‘fat/ugly birds get in for free’ night.
  • The simplicity of ‘Sexual Frustration’.
  • The melodicity of ‘Hutton’s Uniformitarian Theory’, and the amount of time it took me to research the content of the song!
  • ‘Let’s Go Back To Nature’, great music, but Nige never really like the song.

Squat Diddley Poke

All songs ©1992 N. Groves and P. Marshall


  1. That’s Wimmins Work That Is
  2. The Untimely Demise Of Philip Fly
  3. Jack Shit
  4. Bigger Knickers Or A Smaller Arse
  5. Pimp Of The Road
  6. Green Phlegm Suckers From Alpha Centauri
  7. I’m Pink
  8. Neil The Nasty Naan Eater From Nuneaton
  9. Simple Arithmetic Progression (Part 1)
  10. Winston B. Goode
  11. Freddy The Fudge Packer
  12. Waiting for the AA Man
  13. I Wanna Shag Ya
  14. I’m A Thespian
  15. Simple Arithmetic Progression (Part 2)
  16. Nancy Thundercrust
  17. I’ve Got A Hungry Bottom
  18. Darren Mc Tangles Turnips
  19. Floater
  20. Flat Nickel Cadmium Blues
  21. Simple Arithmetic Progression (Part 3)
  22. Polka Dot Undy Grundies

‘Squat Diddley Poke’ was written with the objective of getting some really rocky up-tempo songs into the live set. This album formed the staple diet for the Nonkeys live. The following songs all appear in the live set.

  • That’s Wimmins Work That Is
  • Bigger Knickers Or A Smaller Arse
  • Pimp Of The Road
  • Freddy The Fudge Packer
  • I Wanna Shag Ya
  • Darren Mc Tangles Turnips
  • Floater

‘I Wanna Shag Ya’ is the ultimate encore song.

My personal fav’s? There’s so much to choose from, but these are some of the highlights for me:

  • The punch line in ‘I’m Pink’
  • The music in ‘AA Man’
  • ‘Floater’ – I like to believe that Robbie Williams has seen the lyrics to this song…Gary Nuttall stood in for our bass player a couple of times when we did gigs at the Blues Tavern in Farnham. Gary later went on to play and record with Robbie Williams. Still is.
  • ‘Polka Dot Undy Grundies’, the riff, the music, the drum intro…a really really great track.
  • ‘Freddy The Fudge Packer’, fantastic lyrics, a really rocking song.
  • ‘I’ve Got A Hungry Bottom’ the guitar solo.

Stickerly On Garfield

All songs ©1993 N. Groves and P. Marshall


  1. I’ve Got A Zit
  2. Mrs Jones
  3. Sweet Shop Song 1
  4. The Tortoise Calypso Song
  5. Nonk Automatic
  6. The Man Eating Penis
  7. PC Magoo (Crap Instrumental)
  8. Peter The Purple Headed Penis Eater (1993 Remix)
  9. Dangle My Maggot
  10. I’m A Bee Keeper
  11. Fast Car, Small Dick
  12. Sweet Shop Song 2
  13. Low Sperm Count
  14. Our Soul Music
  15. Lunn Poly Advert
  16. I Want To Caress Your Creamy White Breasts
  17. Wallpaper Advert
  18. Janice Pervis (OHMSS)
  19. The Famous Flying Mozarella Brothers
  20. RoboStud
  21. Angry Fruit Salad
  22. Bird Shit
  23. Sweet Shop Song 3
  24. Has Anybody Seen My Pubic Hair?
  25. Stoned Prune Blues
  26. PC Magoo
  27. Stickerly On Garfield

Some absolute Nonkey classics on this album which weren’t really suitable for a live performance. Rightly ‘Fast Car, Small Dick’ and ‘I Want To Caress Your Creamy White Breasts’ have their place in the live set.

My personal fav’s?

·         ‘Low Sperm Count’, the lyrics and music are just superb.

·         ‘Janice Pervis’ the keyboard riff.

·         The heavy rock music on ‘I’ve Got A Zit’.

·         The double tracked guitars on ‘PC Magoo Instrumental’ – another feature of Nonkey albums was one or two instrumentals featuring me just noodling over a chord progression.

·         The opening riff and the awesome lyrics to ‘Fast Car Small Dick’

·         The Two Ronies style ‘The Famous Flying Mozarella Brothers

·         The intro to ‘‘I Want To Caress Your Creamy White Breasts’

Santa Comes But Once A Year

All songs ©1993 N. Groves and P. Marshall


  1. Mr Glob-Nobby
  2. Santa’s Bell
  3. Rudolph Blues
  4. Fat Smelly Santa
  5. Santa Comes But Once A Year (Part 1)
  6. Johnny’s Exploding Snowman
  7. Santa Is A Wanker
  8. Santa Comes But Once A Year (Part 2)
  9. Something’s Crawled Up Someone’s Arse (and Died)
  10. Come Gather Ye Round
  11. C.H.R.I.S.T.M.A.S. (Parts 1 and 2)
  12. Knock’s On The Box
  13. Fart In a Bottle
  14. All I Want For Christmas
  15. F*ck Off Father Christmas
  16. Yuletide Blow
  17. Pickled Walnuts
  18. My Pet Cockerel
  19. Jingle Bells (Shite Mix)
  20. Yuletide Log
  21. Stuff A Turkey At Christmas
  22. We Wish You a Shit Christmas

Our attempt to get to the number one spot in the album charts of Christmas 1993. We were held off the number single spot by Mr. Blobby, hence the opening track on this album ‘Mr Glob-Nobby’. This was a really great album to write. It was don’t very quickly compared to other Nonkey albums.


My personal fav’s?

  • ‘Fat Smelly Santa’ was originally written about a mate who always used to say ‘I have a bath once a month need it or not’. The sad thing was it was true, and he stunk. ‘Fat Smelly Wanker’ never got recorded, so we turned it into ‘Fat Smelly Santa’.
  • The chorus on ‘Yuletide Log’.
  • The classic ‘The girls don’t want to kiss my cock’ line in ‘My Pet Cockerel’.
  • The music and lyrics for ‘Stuff A Turkey At Christmas’ – ‘In our opinion without sage and onion, Christmas terribly cack, so…pull out your 14 pound butterball turkey and stuff it’s jacksy full of Paxo’. Isn’t that truly inspirational?


Original Soundtrack from the Musical

All songs ©1996 N. Groves and P. Marshall.


  1. Welcome (Principal Spoof/Mavis)
  2. Back to School (The Cast)
  3. Here Comes Johnny (The Cast)
  4. Slag Shaggin' (Johnny Fandango)
  5. Who's That Girl? (Johnny Fandango/ Spike McReviss)
  6. Clean Living, Don't Do It Girl (Spike McReviss)
  7. What Kind Of Boys? (Johnny Fandango)
  8. Geeky Boys (Spike McReviss)
  9. The Bet (Johnny Fandango/Spike McReviss)
  10. The Master Plan (Johnny Fandango)
  11. Out With The In Crowd (Clifford Bugs)
  12. Hey Cliffy (Johnny Fandango)
  13. The Trade (Clifford Bugs)
  14. I Wanna Be A Cool Dud (Clifford Bugs/Johnny Fandango)
  15. The Barber Shop (Clifford Bugs/Barber Shop Quartet)
  16. The Shopping Sketch
  17. The Look (Johnny Fandango)
  18. Right Mental Attitude (Clifford Bugs)
  19. Star Trek (Clifford Bugs)
  20. From Cool To Uncool (Johnny Fandango)
  21. End Of The Bargain (Clifford Bugs/Johnny Fandango)
  22. Don't Say Shit (Johnny Fandango/Clifford Bugs)
  23. Goin' Fishin' (Johnny Fandango/Spike McReviss)
  24. Fanny If You Were Mine Part 1 (Johnny Fandango)
  25. I Wanna Real Man (Fanny Comelightly)
  26. Who's This Dude? (Johnny Fandango/Spike McReviss)
  27. Here Comes Cliffy (The Cast)
  28. Fanny If You Were Mine Part 2 (Clifford Bugs)
  29. F*cked Up Bad (Johnny Fandango/Spike McReviss)
  30. Have You Ever Considered? (Spike McReviss/Johnny Fandango)
  31. When She Walks (Clifford Bugs/Johnny Fandango)
  32. Epilogue

Oh yes. This took absolutely ages to write and record. Three years! It was worth it, but I don’t think we’d ever take on such a big project again. We had plans to hook up with a local dramatics society and put it on stage as a show. Never got round to it. This album really sapped our created juices. It would be another 2 years before we release new material after this album.

I personally think this is our finest album. Obviously, it being a musical, the songs don’t really stand up in their own right, but put them together and this is really fantastic. We really struggled to find a girl to play the part of Fanny Comelightly. In the end Nige did it. Shame.

My personal fav’s?

  • All of it. Sorry, from the opening announcement by Principal Spoof to the Epilogue outro music this is just brilliant.

Toilet Volume 1 (The First 10 Years)

All songs ©1987-1997 N. Groves and P. Marshall


  1. The Devil Went Down To Chipping Norton
  2. Fast Car, Small Dick
  3. Santa’s Bell
  4. Bird Shit
  5. Neil The Naster Naan Eater from Nuneaton
  6. Nigel
  7. Big Bollocks (Girlies)
  8. Plankton Needs Love Too
  9. Nancy Thundercrust
  10. Dobby Dider
  11. I Eat Shit
  12. Sheeeet
  13. Womens Work
  14. My Pet Cockerel
  15. She’s Gone
  16. Flat Nickel Cadmium Blues
  17. I’ve Got A Hungry Bottom
  18. Tortoise Calypso Song
  19. Low Sperm Count
  20. F*ck Off Father Christmas
  21. Waiting for the AA Man
  22. The Garage Sketch
  23. (I’ve Got A) Fat Cock

Burnt out by the production of ‘Geek’ we spent the next year mastering down tow greatest hits volumes onto CD.

Toilet Volume 2 (The First 10 Years)

All songs ©1987-1997 N. Groves and P. Marshall


  1. Floater
  2. Big Bollocks (Heroes)
  3. Abusive Reclusive
  4. Nox On The Box
  5. Yellow Pages
  6. Stuff A Turkey
  7. Freddy The Fudge Packer
  8. Come Gather Ye Round
  9. Rags For Slags
  10. Rudolph Blues
  11. I Love You, You’re My Doctor
  12. Mrs Jones (Accapella)
  13. Freak Family
  14. Mrs Jones
  15. Santa Is A Wanker
  16. Winkle
  17. Nat West
  18. Milton Morgan
  19. Green Phlegm Suckers
  20. Darren McTangles Turnips
  21. Creamy White Breasts
  22. I Hate You
  23. Polka Dot Undy Grundies
  24. Bigger Knickers


All songs ©1998 N. Groves and P. Marshall


  1. How Big Is My Pooh?
  2. Red Riding Hood
  3. The Tunnel Of Fudge
  4. What Are You Doing In My Underpants?
  5. I’ve Shit My Pants
  6. My Left Testicle
  7. The Ghost of Larry Grayson
  8. The Catchy F*cking Chorus
  9. Teaching Granny To Suck Eggs
  10. How Do They Do That?
  11. Burpin’ The Vowels
  12. If I Had A Penous
  13. Steak and Kidney Pie
  14. Horny Ornithologists
  15. The Spice Girls’ Sex Slave
  16. Have You Ever Been Caught by the Fuzz?
  17. Norman’s Got The All Clear
  18. Huntin’ Beaver
  19. The Hanging Vines of Beelzebub
  20. Listen To What I Am Saying To You

Back on form after a two year break with ‘Barsebuffknutt’. This album also featured some of the track that were recorded at No Machine Studios in Wokingham using the whole band: Keyboards played by Mike Auld, Bass played by Dominic Brown, Drums played by Andy Rowney.


My personal fav’s?

  • The riff on ‘How Big Is My Pooh?’.
  • The music and lyrics of ‘Tunnel of Fudge’.
  • The silliness of ‘What Are You Doing In My Underpants?’
  • Everything about ‘I’ve Shit My Pants’
  • The time it took me to write ‘My Left Testicle’ –which really does hang lower than the right.
  • The attempts to burp the vowels on ‘Burping The Vowels’ – me, Dom and Nige and 8 litres of Cola in the recording studio – Neil Sadler our producer was wetting himself with laughter.


Pick A Finger

All songs ©1998 N. Groves and P. Marshall


  1. Bigger Knickers or a Smaller Arse
  2. Fast Car, Small Dick
  3. Phrrrt
  4. I’ve Shit My Pants
  5. Schlapp Headed Baby (oops!)
  6. Schlapp Headed Baby
  7. The Ghost of Larry Grayson
  8. (I Wanna) Shag Ya
  9. Pimp of the Road
  10. (I Feel Like A) Sausage Machine (You Are Soul)
  11. Tunnel of Fudge
  12. Burpin’ the Vowels
  13. Freddy the Fudge Packer
  14. FKUC
  15. Microwave Maniac
  16. Spice Girls Sex Slave
  17. Hanging Vines of Beezebub

The complete No Machine Studios recording session on one CD. Songs old and new pulled together to provide publicans with an idea of what we sound like live. We had a great time in the studio. One day, we’ll do it again.


My personal fav’s?

  • Recording ‘(I Feel Like A) Sausage Machine (You Are Soul)’ and trying to keep a straight face.



All songs ©1998 N. Groves and P. Marshall


  1. Tunnel of Fudge
  2. Microwave Maniac
  3. Freddy The Fudge Packer
  4. Nigel Stalling
  5. Floater
  6. Root It Out
  7. Ghost of Larry Grayson
  8. I Want To Caress Your Creamy White Breasts
  9. The Devil Went Down To Chipping Norton
  10. My Left Testicle
  11. Wank Banter
  12. Dobby Dider
  13. Pimp of The Road
  14. Root It Out
  15. Burpin’ The Vowels
  16. Vinegar Strokes Banter
  17. FKUC
  18. Santa Is A Wanker
  19. Fast Car Small Dick
  20. Oggie, Oggie, Oggie
  21. Bigger Knickers or a Smaller Arse

Recorded live 6 December 1998 at Glen Events Comedy Night, Glen Eyre Halls of Residence, Southampton University. Unfortunately, we didn’t get to record the whole set, but it gives you an idea. We have other live recordings, but this is about the best fidelity.


My personal fav’s?

  • The crowd participation can be heard faintly (we didn’t point any microphones at the audient).
  • On stage in vest and underpants, smashing up my yellow furry guitar in the encore.
  • Kebabs at three o’clock in the morning.
  • The buzz of a great gig.

Large Tough Chicken

All songs ©2000 N. Groves and P. Marshall


  1. The Good Ship Dick
  2. Caught Short
  3. It’s Shit
  4. I’ve Had You Mum
  5. Felate With An Alsatian In a Post Mortem State
  6. Alfred Itchcock
  7. Marlboro Fayre
  8. Please Stan Close to the Porcelain
  9. 9 Point 86 Seconds
  10. Your Ass Is Mine
  11. Cup My Balls In Your Palm
  12. My Cock Stinks
  13. My Shit Don’t Stink
  14. Dad
  15. Come On Into My Dungeon
  16. Hip To Be Gay
  17. Stop Talking On Your Mobile Phone
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