Welcome to the official home of The Nonkey Brothers.

The world's funniest boy band - “Rude, crude, lewd but really rather gude”

WOHA! We're on iTunes, check us out right now and spend yer hard earned wonga. Just click on the ickle button below.

The Nonkey Brothers - The Unscrupulous Fishmonger's Daughter

HEY! And our first crappy video is on YouTube, check that out here...it's all happenin'

"Stairlift To Heaven" on YouTube

Before we start waffling on about musical style, influences, successes, history and all that other craptrap you usually uncover when peeling open a band biog, howzabout we just bend over, open wide and accept a few hard facts.

1) The Nonkey Brothers are very funny. You may not agree, but, you’d be wrong.
2) There are two of them, Peter (the short arse) and Nigel (the freaky giant).
3) Sometimes they use rude words to convey their artistic semantic.
4) Sometimes they use poncy phrases like “artistic semantic” to sound clever.
5) Peter is the more talented member of the band.
6) Nigel is the more talented member of the band.
7) Facts 5 and 6 above are optional.

The Nonkey Brothers are a comedy song writing and recording duo, the like of which has never before graced the surface of our dear planet. Born and bred in good old Blighty, educated in the soft knocks school of life, and now frolicking among the great unwashed, the pair enjoy nothing more than standing on stage in their underpants ripping the mickey out of everyone and everything, including themselves (especially themselves!). All done through the medium of song. They are rude, crude but very silly. One moment they will be endearing you with their happy tunes, catchy choruses and childlike playfulness. The next you will be knocked right off balance with some graphic observation of a bodily function or lewd act. It’s very, very funny.

The Nonkey Brothers have a style all their own and yet their music jumps genre boundaries like a gazelle with a rocket up its ass. Country, pop, rock, disco, rap, blues, you name it, they do it and they do it rather well.

It’s not often that music alone will make you smile or even laugh out loud but Peter’s creations do exactly that. Add to the mix Nigel’s ridiculous singing voices, some truly inspired but ludicrous lyrics, some frankly unlawful rhyming and a good helping of “arsing about” and you get songs that you can’t stop smiling about and you can’t get out of your head.

Toilet Humour (90%), Hydrogenated Innuendo, Emulsified Crudities, Vegetable Extract (Peter), Unspecified Meat Products (including testicular materials), Urine Extract, Essence of Soiled Gusset, Spices, Sauce and lots of Arsing Around.

Click here to view the

Click below for our Podcasts

Big Naturals History Museum - "Inspiration"
Switch Off Your Spam Filter - "The Video?"