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The Insatiable Geek- Feed your Inner Geek

Welcome to the Insatiable Geek!  We have searched the realms of Nerd-dom bit-by-bit, frame-by-frame, and page-by-page to bring it to you in the most sugary, alcoholic, and ridiculous ways.  Here you will find enough drink recipes, foods, and baked goods to give Candy Land diabetes.  Every week we will share a new concoction.


Mr. Freeze

Batman Series

Summer is in full blast down here at the I.G. Headquarters in New Orleans.  The time has come for a cool frozen drink to stop our bodies from spontaneously combusting.


Ingredients:
  • 1 C. Vodka (We like Tito's Handmade Vodka from Austin)
  • 3 C. Hawaiian Punch Polar Blast (or some blue drink, we just liked the name)
  • 2 Maraschino Cherries

Place your liquids in the freezer a good 45 minutes to an hour before making the Mr. Freeze (this helps the ice cream maker get it good and squishie-like... is that a copyright infringement?).  Prepare a 1 Quart ice cream maker.  Once it is running, pour the liquids in and let it run for about 30 minutes (check every 5 or 7 minutes to make sure the ice is not clumping up.)


Once the mixture is good and slushy, pour half of a glass, then add your cherries, and slowly fill the glass.

(Really?  No picture with the cherries?  Good job Cormac)


What were we Thinking!:  We were in the store shopping for the Meat Tornado, and saw the Polar Blast, which was right next to the cherries.  It seemed perfect for a Mr. Freeze slush.

"
Rest well, my love. The monster who took you from me will soon learn that revenge is a dish... best served COLD."
- Mr. Freeze (Cormac wanted an ice pun, and I was not about to let him quote Schwarzenegger)




The Ron F***ing Swanson Meat Tornado


Parks and Recreation

Ingredients:
  • 2 Large Burrito-size Tortillas
  • 1 C. Medium- Sharp Cheddar Cheese
  • 1/2 C. Sharp White Cheddar
  • 1 lb. Thick-Cut Bacon, cooked
  • 1 Lb. Smoked Pork Butt, sliced
  • 2 Bacon-wrapped Steak Fillets, sliced
  • 2 Whole Onions, sliced and cooked in pork juices
  • Smoky Salsa
  • 1 Roasted Poblano pepper
  • Garlic-Pepper Sour Cream, recipe follows

Garlic-Pepper Sour Cream
  • 4 Cloves of Garlic, minced
  • 1 C. Sour Cream
  • 1 Jalapeno, Chopped and Seeded
  • 2 T. Chopped Green Chilies
Sour Cream-Combine all ingredients in a small bowl.  Let rest for 2 hours.

This recipe is so monstrous, we had to forgo our usual Ingredients picture.  Since there is so much work that goes into this bad boy, we are just going to show the layers. 

First, set your oven to 350 degrees.  Overlap the tortillas on a large cookie sheet that has been lined with foil.  Sprinkle the regular cheddar on the tortillas, and place in the oven until the cheese has melted (watch the tortillas, if they over-cook, they will brown and crack when you try to roll this behemoth).
 
Top this with about 6 strips of bacon.


Top the bacon with 1/2 of the cooked onions.


Top your onions with sliced steak.


Top the steak with slices of roasted poblano pepper


Top the pepper with sliced pork butt.


Top the pork butt with the white cheddar and put the whole thing back in the oven until the cheese melts.

You don't think we're done yet, do you?  This is the meat tornado here.... I'm sorry, did you not read the words "MEAT TORNADO"?


Put the remaining cooked onions on top of the melted cheese.

Now it's time for the additions.  Place dollops of the smoked salsa and garlic-pepper sour cream on the spawning tornado.


Top this off with the remaining bacon pieces.  Don't lie, we know you munched on pieces while making this.

Time to wrap!  We needed three wooden skewers and two metal skewers to contain the Meat Tornado.  There's still bacon popping out of the seams.



What were we Thinking!: Ron Swanson is literally The Man.  He is made of whiskey, wood shavings, and mustache. 

And Lord of the Dance

So when Cormac and Dr. Girlfriend saw the episode "Flu Season" of Parks and Rec, we knew the Meat Tornado has to be birthed.  Due to Ron's aversion to veggies and all of that, we had to minimize the plant matter.  Onions cooked in pork juice and pepper blistered on an open fire seemed to be a fair compromise.  We wanted to do bacon-wrapped shrimp, but again Cormac was too lazy to go to the store.  The pork butt was brined for two days in a kosher salt/ brown sugar solution, and a creole mustard rub was applied they day before we cooked it.  The bacon and steaks were cooked on the grill.  We used the petit fillets because we already had them (they were a gift).  It took three of us to finish the Meat Tornado.  We're not Epic Meal Time here.





Cave Johnson's Combustible Lemonade!

Portal 2
We at The Insatiable Geek want to produce timeless classic drinks.  Therefore, we are jumping on the Portal 2 bandwagon before it's too late.  If Cave Johnson wants a lemonade that can burn down your house, then by God that's what he's going to get!
  • 10 oz. Lemonade
  • 2 oz. Limoncello
  • Everclear, or other grain alcohol
  • Lemon Slice

Soak your lemon slice in Everclear (We used the Everclear from our home-made limoncello for that hard to find flamey citrus flavor). 
While the lemon is absorbing all the alcohol, combine the lemonade and limoncello in a tall glass. 
Float a tablespoon of the grain alcohol or 151-proof rum on top of your lemonade and place the alcohol-soaked slice on the rim of the glass. 
Ignite that B*****! 

Disclaimer: If you don't blow out your lemon before you drink, you're going to ignite your hair.  Trust us, you won't look like a bad-ass drinking alcoholic lemonade anyways.


"When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don't want your damn lemons! What am I supposed to do with these?! Demand to see life's manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I'm the man who's gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I'm gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that
burns your house down!"
- Cave Johnson, Portal 2

What were we Thinking!: As soon as Cormac heard the phrase "combustible lemon that burns your house down", he was set.  No doubt about it, he was going to fill a lemon with gasoline and chuck it at cars.  We talked him down to a flaming drink.  We at I.G. love limoncello during the summertime.  Fun fact of the day, Danny DeVito sells his own brand of limoncello.  Think about that the next time you watch "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia"




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