Check out individual cards by selecting a card group on the left.
Flippy_D's first version of the rules:
Idle thoughts. I had an exam this morning so my brain is still whirring but without any particular target. This makes for very bad news indeed.
(Please note: I have never ever played a TGC)
TF2 the TGC is a Penny Arcade-based game. There are several types of card:
1) The Item Cards
- Full Medkit: Use a full medkit card to heal a card in your hand to full health
- Medkit: Heal 100hp
- Ammo Crate: Do 30 more damage per attack this turn, or 50 for Pyros and Heavies.
- Critical Hit: Roll 1d20. Opponant must score 13 or more to survive. Damage taken decreases by 25 per extra integer, starting at full health damage when rolling 12. So 13 is hp -25, 14 is hp -50, etc.
- Ubercharge: attach 3 ubercharge cards to a character to make them ubered for a turn. See medic details.
- Sentry Gun: Roll 1d20 per offensive card. Score 18 or more to destroy the sentry gun. If the defenders include an engineer, score 30 or more. Special scenario: If your attack force includes a heavy or demoman with 3 ubercharge cards attached, the sentry gun is destroyed. If there is an engineer in the defense, he must roll 16 or higher on a 1d20.
- Dispenser: Heal all active cards 50hp for 3 turns.
- The Intelligence: Gives the possessing team +5 to initiative rolls this turn. One use only, then is returned to the deck.
- CP cards: Use this card for the CP game.
2) Player Cards
- Soldier - OFF/def 
- Scout - OFF 
- Spy - OFF 
- Pyro - OFF 
- Heavy - DEF/off 
- Demoman - DEF 
- Sniper - DEF 
- Engineer - DEF 
- Medic 
Each card has a Penny Arcade player on it!
Because no TGC is complete without shinies. These are players who inspire cursing and fear alike. They have higher than average hp, and also add certain stats depending on what class they play and how they play it. For example:
Heavy - 350hp
"WHERE ARE MY MEDICS?"
Adds 10 to all attack rolls.
Player Determined + 30hp
"Okay, I'm definitely 100% playing spy again."
Adds 2 to your offensive and defensive score.
Soldier - 250hp
Every three turns (x, o, o, x), fires a crit. Double the damage dealt for that attack.
The table is set with four active card spaces for each player, in a diamond pattern. The foremost card gives and receives 30 more damage on any attack. The card nearest to you gives and receives 30 less damage unless it is a Sniper card. The player may play any combination of cards he wishes. DEF cards are worth 3 DEF points, and OFF cards are worth 3 OFF points. Hybrid cards are weighted 2:1 points in favour of the stronger ability. The player with the more OFF points receives +5 to initiative rolls and +20 to all damage inflicted. The player with the more DEF points can instantly replace a defeated card and attack with it. Medics are oddballs.
There are 5 CP cards. The winner of a turn gets a CP card. Each won card gives +2 to initiative rolls. Collect all 5 to win.
The Medic is a pretty crucial card and will normally figure in a given formation, but is not mandatory. When a player draws a medic, he rolls 1d20 to determine which medigun he has. An even number is the Uber, and an odd number is the Kruber. The uber makes a card invincible and heals it to full; the kruber doubles all damage dealt by that card for the turn, but no invincibility. The medic may be placed on any of the four card spaces in the diamond, but only affects the two adjacent cards. This means the card diametrically opposite does not receive the benefit of the medic in any way. Of the two adjacent cards, the medic card can choose to focus on one of them specifically. The usual healing throw is 1d20*10 (times the roll, not 10 seperate rolls). If a target is being focus-healed, then double the roll result. However, halve the roll result for the other adjacent card. For every 100 damage the medic heals, you are granted another uber card.
The Demoman and Soldier inflict splash damage with their default attack. Cards adjacent to the target take quarter of the damage of the target, to the nearest ten.
When Snipers and Spies attack, roll 1d6. If you score a 5 or a 6, deduct 20 from each attack your opponant makes next turn.
Scouts and Engineers roll 1d6 per turn. A 6 means you successfully make a player ragequit. Your opponant must replace a card of your choice with another from his deck.
If a player inflicts more than 350 damage total in a turn, they may then choose either a Pyro or a Heavy to attack again. This takes place before the enemy medic has applied his healing for the turn.
- North has 9 offense points and 0 defense points, with 4 CP cards.
- South has 6 defensive points and 3 offensive points, with 1 CP card. South also has a dispenser card.
- Offense has won initiative and goes first, and will inflict more damage. Defense still has more DEF points though, and will be able to replace fallen cards. We'll assume all cards have full health at the minute, except the pyro. The heavy is a shiny and has 350 health. Damage is reflective of in-game damage.
- Medic has nothing to do this turn.
- Pyro first. Uses his health kit to heal to full and then attacks the heavy.
90 (normal attack) + 30 (front man bonus) + 20 (offense bonus) = 140. Heavy has 210 hp left.
- Scout also attacks heavy.
110 (normal attack) + 20 (offense bonus) = 130. Heavy is left with 80 hp.
Scout rolls 1d6 for 'pissant annoying', scores 4. Nothing happens.
- Spy decides they really want that heavy dead.
120 (normal attack) + 20 (offense bonus) = 140. Heavy falls over and dies.
Spy rolls 1d6 for 'mind games', scores 3. Nothing happens.
- Defense switches heavy for engineer.
Mopping up: the pyro attacks again, inflicting 90+30 on the medic.
- Medic heals himself for (1d20*10)
- Soldier fears for the sniper's life whilst that spy is around.
70 (normal attack) + 30 (front man bonus) = 100. Spy is reduced to 25, the medic takes 20 damage, and the pyro takes 20+30 (left with105 and 125 respectively).
- The Sniper sees an opportunity here. Medic's going down.
120 (normal attack)
Rolls 1d6 for 'mind games', and fails.
- Engineer builds a sentry gun.
- Dispenser heals medic for 50.
I think you could really add some cool things to this too, like class vs. class mechanics (ie: pyro suffers damage reduction vs. other pyro, or bonus against spies), or abilities: the engy already has 'build sentry', so the demo could have 'sticky trap', the spy 'cloak', etc.
Edit: And making defensive and offense points mean more, so like the more defense one has, the less damage they take but the less they inflict...
Well, anyway, this is what happens when my brain is on cruise control with no immediate task at hand.