Tantric Practices that Produce Intimacy & Connection in Your Relationship. Tantra is the practice of being in a full-relationship with life.
An alive connection with what is. Opening yourself - your senses, your awareness, your feelings - to today moment and experiencing truth from that place of openness.
Tantra drops us deeper into the felt experience who we actually are. It creates an active combining of body and spirit. When we practice tantra, life turns on.
And so do we. Over the passed several months, I've remained in a tantric relationship with a guy who has taught me a lot of techniques to become even more awake and alive in our connection, in every minute. Prior to I go any even more, I'll respond to the concern I know you're wondering: "What exactly is a tantric relationship?"
TO United States, IT'S AN INTIMATE RELATIONSHIP THAT'S GROUNDED-IN AND GUIDED-BY REALITY.
Meaning, it's a collaboration where our purpose (as a couple) is to be as awake as we possibly can be. To be real, to confront our fears, and to grow in Love. And it's this practice of authenticity, reality, dedication and love that's created a deeper connection with a male than I've ever had in my life. Up until now, it's been an astounding trip.
My partner has actually been practicing tantra for over twenty years and because, he's introduced me to lots of techniques that reinforce our connection and deepen our intimacy. He mores than happy I'm going to share some of those practices with you in this article.
Below are four, basic tantric practices that will awaken you to yourself, to your partner, to like, and to the spirit that we all are. Provide of few of these practices a shot in your relationship and see your connection thrive and grow.
MATTERS WE LIKE
When my partner I initially began connecting, he recommended that we try a practice together in the morning, an hour or two prior to we 'd bid farewell. It's a practice of informing each other 5 things we like about the time we have actually invested together. I have to say this method is among the sweetest, most caring, a lot of connecting experiences I have actually ever done with another person. Months later on, we're still practicing it. It never gets old.
The process is simple - it goes like this: While you're laying in bed (or consuming breakfast, or in a chill minute with your partner), in a fully-present way, each of you state 5 things you took pleasure in about the time you simply spent together. You can state anything! It can be ridiculous, sweet, deep, or profound ... and if you do this practice this enough, it'll be all these things and more! When you honor your partner and the time you share together, you produce a spiritual container for your relationship. Doing a practice like this regularly can just deepen your love.
MINUTE CHECK-IN
Around the exact same time that my partner and I do "5 Things We Like," we also do a 5 minute check-in. The function of this check-in is to tune into yourself, see what's essential to you in this minute (about anything in your life), and to share that with your partner. This check-in is not about the relationship always. It has to do with you! It has to do with dropping into who you are in this minute and expressing your reality to your partner. Once again, it's easy but extensive.
Here are some concerns that can assist you in a check-in:
How am I doing in my life?
What is necessary to me in this moment?
What am I dealing with?
What do I wish to create?
What challenges - if any - are standing for me right now?
Who am I today?
By having a little bit of time to tune-into to your own process then share it, you develop a much deeper connection with yourself and an more intimate connection with the person you enjoy.
Shadow Inspect
Ahhh ... the shadow check. Not always simple but certainly an essential strategy for couples to do.
So what is a "shadow check"?
It's a time to come together with your partner and discuss the unpleasant, challenging sensations and experiences that are occurring in the relationship. It's a designated container for you to be real about what you're battling with in yourself and with your partner. While a shadow check is normally uneasy, it can be a lifesaver for a relationship because it produces a safe space to move through challenges.
So how do you do it?
Either on a semi-regular basis or when you feel that something "shadowy" is emerging in your relationship (you're moody, upset, or resentful), you produce a designated time to come together with your partner to discuss it. My partner and I generally do shadow-checks in public places (to keep the level of intensity down) and we try to be respectful of ourselves and each other throughout the process. Here are some ways we do that:
Each individual gets 15 minutes to discuss what's going on, without interruptions (we utilize a timer).
We try to steer-clear of blame.
We try to utilize "I statements" (i.e. "I've been feeling ____ way." "My experience is this ...").
We try not to surpass 1.5 hours for the entire shadow check (to prevent burn-out).
We understand that the point is not to have a program or get something from each other; rather the point is to comprehend ourselves, each other, and reach commonalities again.
What truly assists a shadow check go smoothly is if you're dedicated to being on the exact same team as your partner. Yes, uncomfortable sensations occur in intimate relationships, nevertheless if you understand that love is the structure of your connection, then always make it through the other side.
CONSCIOUS SENSUALITY.
Conscious sensuality is what the majority of people think about when they hear the word "tantra." Without a doubt, it's an incredible part of being in a tantric relationship.
What is mindful sensuality precisely? It's being fully aware in your touch, contact, erotic energy and lovemaking.
As easy as it sounds, a number of us aren't that mindful in our sexual contact, but that's fine due to the fact that it's a practice. Here's a simple method to bring more awareness into your physical intimacy:. Using a timer, do 10 5-minute intervals of getting in touch with your partner, focusing on being fully-present in each workout.
Set the timer for the very first 5 minutes, being in front of your partner and look him or her in the eyes while moving your body somewhat as you breathe. Just concentrate on this one job - eye-gazing and breathing - for the complete 5 minutes. When the timer goes off, acquiesce your partner to acknowledge completion of that session, then move on to the next. In the next 5-minute session, one partner can sensually touch and massage the other's arms, legs, neck and body. The partner who's providing touch can practice being fully-present in that offering; the partner who's getting can practice fully-present in receiving.
In the next 5 minutes, switch functions. In the next 5 minutes, practice kissing with complete awareness for 5 minutes. Simply be in the minute, not needing to do anything else however kiss. See what that resembles ... And keep going from there! Get innovative! As you can think of, there are lots of possibilities.
What's gorgeous about conscious sensuality is that, unlike spontaneous lovemaking, there's a container for the experience so you're less most likely to move forward towards the "next thing." Simply put, you're sticking with one sensual practice for a set quantity of time, which permits you to totally show-up for that experience.
Generally it's meditation and sex combined! And who doesn't like that?! As you can see, all these tantric practices hold a common theme: Bring your awareness into today minute, into your body, into the energy that exists here and now and be with it. That's what tantra is, and that's what an alive relationship is, too. Please leave a remark listed below telling us which tantric practice your going to try with your partner (or share another practice if you have one!).