Bad Movie Titles as a Story:


The following is a list of the wierdest and worst movie titles EVER. I've tried to organize them into a sort of short story, albeit a really clunky one, but hopefully reading them that way makes it more fun for you the reader.  

WARNING: These titles are all uncensored so if you can't handle naughty words or are up past your bedtime, don't read them. Otherwise, hope you have at least one good laugh out of all this.


Wax, or the Discovery of Television Among Bees

Fiberglass Chairs: Something of How They Get the Way They Are

Tigrero: The Film that Was Never Made

Don't Worry, We'll Think of a Title

Return to Departure: The Biography of a Painting or Watching a Pigment Dry and other Realisms

Spider Baby, or The Maddest Story Ever Told

Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders from Mars

From the Mixed Up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler

The Epic Tale of Kalesius and Clotho: A Meditation on the Impossibility of Romantic Love in a Rapidly Expanding Universe


The Boy Who Left Home to Find Out about the Shivers

The Last Mimzy

The Curious Dr. Humpp

In Search of the Wow Wow Wibble Wobble Wazzle Woodle Woo!

The Sins of Harold Diddlebock

Scudda Hoo! Scudda Hey!

Hullabaloo Over George and Bonnie's Pictures

The Perils of Gwendoline in the Land of Yik Yak

Ollie Hopnoodle's Haven of Bliss

In the Land of the Owl Turds

I Dood It

Tales of the Shit Eater: Beginnings

Life is Cheap... but Toilet Paper is Expensive

Sex, Chocolate and Zombie Republicans

Naked Lunch

Lick an Apple Like a Pussy: The Movie Stanislawski Never Made

Eat or be Eaten

You Are What You Eat

I Am the Cheese

A Hero 'Aint Nuthin' but a Sandwich

Gentlemen Don't Eat Poets

The Flower in His Mouth

Please Don't Eat the Daisies

Please Don't Eat the Babies

Please Don't Eat My Mother 

Stop or My Mother Will Shoot

Throw Mamma from the Train

There's a Pervert in Our Pool

There's a Girl in My Soup

Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama

Tenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze

Spanking the Jello

That Nasty Sticky Stuff

Fat Guy Goes Nutzoid

Chubby Goes Down Under and Other Sticky Regions

C.H.U.D. II: Bud the CHUD

The Chumscrubber

Boogerman: A Pick and Flick Adventure

How to Do It and Why; or, Cutey at College

Satan's School for Girls

The School that Ate My Brain

Satan's Cheerleaders

Heller In Pink Tights

Can She Bake a Cherry Pie?

Teenage Catgirls in Heat

How to Stuff a Wild Bikini

The Peanut Butter Solution

Scare Their Pants Off

Let Me Be Your Underwear

Cattle Annie and Little Britches

The Wonderful Ice Cream Suit

Monsters Crash the Pajama Party Spook Show Spectacular


The Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants

Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood

Chu Chu the Philly Flash

Big Boobs Buster

Attack of the Hungry Hungry Nipples

No No Nooky T.V.

Hey! There's Naked Bodies On My TV!

What Do You Say to a Naked Lady?

Everything You Wanted to Know About Sex, but were Afraid to Ask

Can I Do it 'Till I Need Glasses?

Cockeyed Cowboys of Calico County

How Funny Can Sex Be?

Mars Needs Women

Wild Women of Wongo

Love Wanga

Saga of the Viking Women and their Voyage to the Waters of the Great Sea Serpent

Swept Away... By an Unusual Destiny in the Blue Sea of August

The Sea Shall Not Have Them

Star Worms II - Attack of the Pleasure Pods

Steal Big, Steal Small

Never Steal Anything Small

The Terror of Tiny Town

The Goalie's Anxiety at the Penalty Kick

Soggy Penis Syndrome


You've Got to Walk it Like You Talk it or You'll Lose that Beat

I'm Gonna Git You Sucka!

First Turn On

Enormous Changes at the Last Minute

Return of a Man Called Horse

Billy Rose's Jumbo

Been Down so Long it Looks like Up to Me

The Englishman Who Went up a Hill and Came down a Mountain

I'm Gonna Fuck You Back to the Stone Age

Nymphoid Barbarian in Dinosaur Hell

Mr. Winkle Goes to War

Suppose they Gave a War and Nobody Came?

Tojan Women

Killer Condom

Johnny Skidmarks

She's Gotta Have It

How Stella Got Her Groove Back

The Day the Hot Line Got Hot

Summer Night, with Greek Profile, Almond Eyes a Scent of Basil

Dangerous When Wet

Pooty Tang


The Day the Fishes Came Out

The Favor, the Watch, and the Very Big Fish

Smiling Fish and Goat on Fire

Tie Me Up! Tie Me Down!

Take a Hard Ride

Attack of the Giant Horny Gorilla

Jumping the Rope After Bed Time

No More Monkeys Jumpin' on the Bed

Soft Bed... Hard Battles

Bedtime for Bonzo

Spanking the Monkey


A Pain in the A...

Kinky Boots

Bite Me, Darling!

Kitten with a Whip

Slap Her, She's French

Paris Does Strange Things

Blondes Have More Guns

Beach Blanket Bingo

Shakespear In and Out

Pee-Wee's Big Adventure

Lust in the Dust

Sally of the Saw Dust

The First Nudie Musical

Sweet Sweetback's Baadassss Song

One Sings, the Other One Doesn't

Be Quiet and Shut the Fuck Up

Faster Pussycat! Kill! Kill!

Quick Before it Melts

I'm Dancing as Fast as I Can

I Get Dizzy When I Do That Twostep

Jumping at the Boneyard

Chitty Chitty Bang Bang

And Now the Screaming Starts

Shoot Loud, Louder... I Don't Understand

Scream and Scream Again

Scream, Blackula, Scream!

Black Snake Moan

Snakes on a Plane

The Commies are Coming, The Commies are Coming

My Pleasure is My Business


Beware of a Holy Whore

Fertilize the Blaspheming Bombshell

Went to Coney Island on a Mission From God... Be Back by Five

Gone in 60 Seconds

tick... tick... tick...

Wham-Bam-Thank You, Spaceman

Dynamite Chicken

Nice Girls Don't Explode

Miss Firecracker

Dr. Strangelove: Or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb

Nearly a Nasty Accident

That's Adequate!

Let's Do It Again

Ghosts Can't Do It

Death Bed: The Bed That Eats

An UnEarthly Image of the Return of the Revenge of the Seeds of the War Games of Doom

Who Are the Deadbolts and Where Did They Get 19 Kids?

Night of the Day of the Dawn of the Son of the Bride of the Return of the Revenge of the Terror of the Attack of the Evil, Mutant, Alien, Flesh Eating, Hellbound, Zombified Living Dead Part 2: In Shocking 2-D

I Married a Monster from Outer Space

I Was a Mailorder Bride

And You Thought Your Parents Were Wierd!

Return of the Alien's Deadly Spawn


Test Tube Teens from the Year 2000

American Flatulators

Jurassic Fart

Adventures of the Fart Bitches


Slappy and the Stinkers

The Smell That Killed Him

Always Outnumbered, Always Outgunned

Adventures in Babysitting

Rabid Grannies

No Retreat, No Surrender

Romper Stomper

Don't Tell Mom the Babysitter's Dead

Children Shouldn't Play with Dead Things

Take this Job and Shove It

Ooh, You Are Awful

Family Enforcer

When Women Go on the Warpath; or, Why Jonesville Went Dry

Who Is Harry Kellerman and Why Is He Saying Those Terrible Things About Me?

Get Ready to Be Boyzvoiced

The Dangerous Lives of Alter Boys

The Year My Voice Broke

Chopper Chicks in Zombietown

Master of the Flying Guillotine

So I Married an Axe Murderer

Sometimes Santa's Gotta Get Whacked

Duck You Sucker


Unidentified Flying Oddball

Three Into Two Won't Go

They Went That-A-Way and That-A-Way

Vasectomy: A Delicate Matter

A Vagina for Christmas

Blood and Donuts

Eddie, Get the Mop

Tongs: An American Nightmare

Parts: The Clonus Horror

Shriek of the Mutilated

The Boy Who Cried Bitch

Darling, How Could You?

Hey Stop Stabbing Me

Don't Get Gay with Your Manicure!

Gore Whore

The Creature Wasn't Nice

You Are Not the Boss of Me and Look Who Is Fucking Sorry Now

One Foot on a Banana Peel, the Other Foot in the Grave: Secrets from the Dolly Madison Room

Oh Dad, Poor Dad - Momma's Hung You in the Closet and I'm So Sad

Daddy's Dyin'... Who's Got the Will?

There Was a Crooked Man

The Payback Man

I Killed My Lesbian Wife, Hung Her on a Meat Hook, and Now I Have a Three-Picture Deal at Disney

The Sterile Cuckoo

A Day in the Death of Joe Egg

Nick Danger and the Case of the Missing Yolk

Dealing: Or the Berkley-To-Boston Forty-Brick Lost-Bag Blues

It Came from Somewhere Else

Victor, Victoria

Glen or Glenda

Can I Get a Pickle?

Cuicutry Man II: Plughead Rewired

Zapped Again!

Radioactive Crotch Man

The effect of Gamma Rays on Man-In-The-Moon Marigolds

The Man with the Smallest Penis in Existence and the Electron Microscope Technician Who Loved Him

Mister Superinvisible

The Search for One Eyed Jimmy

It's Not the Size that Counts

Doctor, You've Got to be Kidding

Urine: Good Health

Beaver Gets a Boner

Probotector II: Return of the Evil Forces

How a Mosquito Operates

She Was a Hippie Vampire

Don't be a Menace to South Central while Drinking Your Juice in da Hood

The Horny Vampire

Vampire Hookers

Cannibal Hookers

Jesse James Meets Frankenstein's Daughter


They Call Me Macho Woman

The Adventures of Iron Pussy

Three Nuts in Search of a Bolt

Love and the Midnight Auto Supply

So You Want to Get It Wholesale

I Can Get It for You Wholesale

Maniac Nurses Find Ecstasy

How to Get the Man's Foot Outta Your Ass

Lust and Other Canker Sores

The Wednesday Night Save-The-World Society

How to Get Laid at the End of the World

The End of the World in Our Usual Bed in a Night Full of Rain

Everbody Gets it in the End

Vagina Town

The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas

Bad Mama Jama and the Fat Ladies of the Evening

Tits and Asphalt

Blood and Concrete: A Love Story

Brain Smasher... A Love Story