Sunday Family Humour 3rd August

Jokes presentations, videos, pictures, cartoons - family humour

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NAILS IN THE FENCE

Thanks to Ray O'.

 
There once was a little boy who had a bad temper.  His Father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he must hammer a nail into the back of the fence..
 
The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence.  Over the nextfew weeks, as he learned to control his anger, the number of nails hammered daily gradually dwindled down.  He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence.  Finally the day came when the boy didn't lose his temper at all.

He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper.

The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone.

The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence.  He said, ' You have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence...  The fence will never be the same.  When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one.  You can put a knife in a man and draw it out.  But it won't matter how many times you say I'm sorry, the wound will still be there.  A verbal wound is as bad as a physical one..

Remember that friends are very rare jewels indeed.
They make you smile and encourage you to succeed; They lend an ear, they share words of praise and they always want to open their hearts to us.

    It's National Friendship Week.  Show your friends how much you care..  Send this to everyone you consider a FRIEND, even if it means sending it back to the person who sent it to you!  If it comes back to you, you will then know you have a circle of
friends.

YOU ARE MY FRIEND AND I AM HONORED!


25 Of The Most Creative Sculptures And Statues

Thanks to Tony H.

25 Creative Sculptures



Merchant Banker (John Cleese)

Thanks to David H.

Python's Merchant Banker



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 Retiree Mental Fitness Evaluation

Thanks to Paul S.
 
This test is to ascertain your mental state now.
 If you get one right you aredoing ok,
if you get none right you better go for counseling.
(I'll meet you there.)
 


There are 4 test questions.  Don’t miss one.
 
 
Giraffe Test
 
1.    How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?
Mental test 1

Stop and think about it and decide on your answer before you scroll down.

 
The correct answer: Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe, and close the door. This question tests whether you tend to do simple things in an overly complicated way.

Elephant Test
 
2.    How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?
 
Mental test 2
 
 
Did you say, Open the refrigerator, put in the elephant, and close the refrigerator?  WrongAnswer.

Correct Answer: Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door.  This tests your ability to think through the repercussions of your previous actions.
 
Lion King Test
 

3.    The Lion King is hosting an Animal Conference.  All the animals attend ... except one. Which animal does not attend?
 
Mental test 3
 
 
 
Correct Answer: The Elephant.  The elephant is in the refrigerator.  You just put him in there.  This tests your memory.


Okay, even if you did not answer the first three questions correctly, you still have one more chance to show your true abilities.
 
Crocodile Test
 
 
4. There is a river you must cross but it is used by crocodiles, and
you do not have a boat. 
Mental test 4

How do you manage it?
 
 
 
Correct Answer: You jump into the river and swim across.  Haven’t you
been lis-ten-ing?  All the crocodiles are attending the Animal Conference.  This tests whether you learn quickly from your mistakes.

According to Anderson Consulting Worldwide
, around 90% of the Retirees they tested got all questions wrong, but many preschoolers got several correct answers.  Anderson Consulting says this conclusively proves the theory that most Retirees do not have the brains of a four-year-old.



Send this out to frustrate all of your smart friends.. 

PS: Just the fact that I sent it to you should make you feel good.


David M's Gallery

Thanks To David M.


David M 1
 
   
David M 2
 
David M 5
 
David M 6
 
 
David M 3
 
David M 64
 
David M 7
 
 
David M 8
 
 
David M 9
 
David M 10
 
 
David M 11
 
David M 12
 
 
David M 13
 
David M 14
 
 
David M 15
 
David M 16
 


Reminders

Thanks to Lee

Reminders




Out Of The Box Ideas

Thanks to David H.,

 
outbox 1
   75 SECONDS IN EVERY MINUTE
outbox 2

 WIPER BLADES
outbox 3

   SAFE SMOKING CAMPAIGN
outbox 4

  AIR CONDITIONING IN HUT
outbox 5

   ADT ALARM SYSTEM
outbox 6

 UNIVERSAL SIDE MIRRORS
outbox 7

   NO SMOKING
outbox 8

 KEEP ENGINE SAFE
outbox 9

   CHEAPEST CAR SECURITY
outbox 10

 LG AIR CONDITIONING 2013
outbox 11

    PLANET FITNESS LATEST EQUIPMENT
outbox 12

 BEST WATER CONNECTION
outbox 13

   RACING SEATS
outbox 14

  INDIA POLICE ANTI-PROTEST MEASURES
outbox 15

   TRACKER KEEPS YOUR CAR SAFE
outbox 16



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