Sunday Family Humour 9th April Page 2

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The Western Wall

Thanks to Coach
A journalist heard about a very old Jewish man who had been going to the Western Wall to pray, twice a day, every day, for a long, long time.
 
So she went to check it out. She went to the Western Wall and there he was, walking slowly up to the holy site. She watched him pray and after about 45 minutes, when he turned to leave, using a cane and moving very slowly, she approached him for an interview.
 
"Pardon me, sir, I'm Rebecca Smith from CNN. What's your name?"

"Morris Feinberg," he replied.

"Sir, how long have you been coming to the Western Wall and praying?" 

"For about 60 years."
 
"60 years! That's amazing! What do you pray for?"
 
"I pray for peace between the Christians, Jews, and the Muslims."
"I pray for all the wars and all the hatred to stop."
"I pray for all our children to grow up safely as responsible adults and to love their fellow man."
"I pray that politicians tell us the truth and put the interests of the people ahead of their own interests."
And finally "I pray that everyone will be happy".

"How do you feel after doing this for 60 years?"

"Like I'm talking to a  wall......"

Osprey -- the ultimate fisher

Thanks to Spike

Osprey -- the ultimate fisher


Piano Lessons

Thanks to Tully

At the prodding of my friends I am  writing this story.  My name is Mildred Honor. I am a former  elementary school Music Teacher from Des Moines, Iowa.
 
I have  always supplemented my income by Teaching Piano Lessons...Something  I have done for over 30 years. During those years,    I found that Children have  many levels of musical ability, and even though I have never had the  prodigy, I have taught some very talented students. However, I have  also had my share of what I call 'Musically Challenged  Pupils.
 
One such Pupil being Robby. Robby was 11 years old  when his Mother (a Single Mom) dropped him off for his first Piano  Lesson.
 
I prefer that Students (especially Boys) begin  at  an earlier age, which I explained to Robby.  But  Robby said that it had always been his Mother's Dream to hear him  play the Piano, so I took him as a Student.
 
At the end of  each weekly Lesson he would always say 'My Mom's going to hear me  Play someday.'  But to me, it seemed hopeless, he just did not  have any Inborn Ability.I only knew his Mother from a distance as  she dropped Robby off or waited in her aged Car to pick him  up.  She always waved and smiled, but never dropped  in.
 
Then one day Robby stopped coming for his Lessons.   I thought about calling him, but Assumed that because of his lack of  Ability he had decided to pursue something else. I was also glad  that he had stopped coming. He was a Bad Advertisement for my Teaching!
 
Several Weeks later I mailed a flyer recital to the  Students' homes. To my surprise, Robby (who had received a flyer)  asked if he could be in the Recital. I told him that the Recital  was for current Pupils and that because he had dropped out, he  really did not Qualify.
 
He told me that his Mother had been  Sick and Unable to take him to his piano lessons, but that he had  been practicing.  'Please Miss Honor, I've just got to Play,'  he insisted. I don't know what led me to allow him to play in the  Recital - perhaps it was his insistence or maybe something inside of  me saying that it would be all right.
 
The night of the  Recital came and the high school gymnasium was packed with Parents,  Relatives and Friends. I put Robby last in the Program, just before  I was to come up and thank all the Students and Play a finishing  piece. I thought that any damage he might do would come at the end  of the Program and I could always salvage his poor performance  through my 'Curtain Closer'.
 
Well, the Recital went off  without a Hitch, the Students had been Practicing and it Showed.  Then Robby came up on the stage. His Clothes were Wrinkled and his  Hair looked as though he had run an egg beater through it. 'Why  wasn't he dressed up like the other Students?' I thought. 'Why  didn't his Mother at least make him Comb his Hair for this Special  Night?'
 
Robby pulled out the Piano bench, and I was Surprised  when he announced that he had chosen to play Mozart's Concerto No21  in C Major.  I was not prepared for what I heard next.   His fingers were light on the keys, they even danced nimbly on the  Ivories.  He went from Pianissimo to Fortissimo, from Allegro  to Virtuoso; his Suspended Chords that Mozart demands were  Magnificent!  Never had I heard Mozart played so well by anyone  his age.
 
After six and a half minutes, he ended in a Grand  Crescendo, and everyone was on their feet in Wild Applause!!!  Overcome and in Tears, I ran up on stage and put my arms around  Robby in Joy.
 
'I have never heard you Play like that Robby,  how did you do it?  Through the Microphone Robby explained:  'Well, Miss Honor, Remember I told you that my Mom was sick?   Well, she actually had Cancer and Passed Away this Morning. And  well... she was  Born Deaf, so tonight was the first time she  had ever heard me Play, and I wanted to make it  Special.'
 
There wasn't a Dry Eye in the house that  evening.  As People from Social Services led Robby from the  stage to be placed into Foster Care, I noticed thThat even their Eyes  were red and Puffy.  I thought to myself then how much Richer  my Life had been for taking Robby as my Pupil.
 
No, I have  never had a Prodigy, but that night I became a Prodigy...  of Robby. He was the Teacher and I was the Pupil, for he had  taught me the meaning of Perseverance and Love and Believing in  Yourself, and may be even taking a chance on someone and you didn't  know why.
 
Robby was Killed years later in the Senseless  Bombing of the Alfred P.Murrah Federal Building in Oklahoma City  in April, 1995.

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Stunning Bridges

Thanks to David M.

Stunning Bridges.ppt


Men Will Be Men

Thanks to Spike

YouTube Video


Things You May Not Know

…but then again, maybe you do...
 
1. A strawberry isn’t a berry but a banana is.
2. Avocados and watermelon are berries, too.
3. Cashews grow on trees like this:
not know 1
4. And Brussels sprouts grow in long stalks like this:
Not know 2
5. Chocolate milk was invented in Ireland.
6. Ketchup used to be sold as medicine.
7. Carrots were originally purple.
not know 3
8. McDonald’s sells 75 hamburgers every second of every day.
9. Yams and sweet potatoes are not the same thing.
10. Ripe cranberries will bounce like rubber balls.
11. An average ear of corn has an even number of rows, usually 16.
12. Betty White is actually older than sliced bread.
not know 4
13. Humans share 50% of their DNA with bananas.
14. Honey never spoils. You can eat 32,000-year-old honey.
15. Peanuts are not nuts. They grow in the ground like this, so they are legumes.
not know 5
16. Vending machines are twice as likely to kill you than a shark is.
17. Coconuts kill more people than sharks every year. So do cows.
18. Pound cake got its name from its original recipe, which called
for a pound each of butter, eggs, sugar, and flour.
19. The probability of you drinking a glass of water that contains
a molecule of water that also passed through a dinosaur is almost 100%.
20. Honey is made from nectar and bee vomit.
not know 6
21. Pineapples grow like this:
not know 7
22. Quinoa is the seeds of this plant:
not know 8
23. Kiwis grow on vines:
not know 9
24. Ginger is the root of a plant:
not know 10
25. And cinnamon is just the inner part of this tree:
not know 11
26. And artichokes are flowers that are eaten as buds. This is what they look like when flowered:
not know 11
27. “Spam” is short for spiced ham.
28. Popsicles were invented by an 11-year-old in 1905.
29. Apples, like pears and plums, belong to the rose family.
30. The official state VEGETABLE of Oklahoma is the watermelon.
31. Peas are one the most popular pizza toppings in Brazil:
not know 12
32. There are over 7,500 varieties of apples throughout the world,
and it would take you 20 years to try them all if you had one each day.
33. The twists in pretzels are made to look like arms crossed in prayer.
34. Canola oil was originally called rapeseed oil, but renamed by the
Canadian oil industry in 1978 to avoid negative connotations.
“Canola” is short for “Canadian oil.”
35. And no matter what color Froot Loop you eat, they all taste the same.
not know 13

How Children Perceive Their Grandparents

Thanks to John C
1. I was in the bathroom, putting on my makeup, under the watchful eyes of my young granddaughter, as I'd done many times before. After I applied my lipstick and started to leave, the little one said, "But Grandma, you forgot to kiss the toilet paper good-bye!"
I will probably never put lipstick on again without thinking about kissing the toilet paper good-bye....

2.  My young grandson called the other day to wish me Happy Birthday He asked me how old I was, and I told him, 72.  My grandson was quiet for a moment, and then he asked, "Did you start at 1?"

3. After putting her grandchildren to bed, a grandmother changed into old slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her hair. As she heard the children getting more and more rambunctious, her patience grew thin. Finally, she
threw a towel around her head and stormed into their room, putting them back to bed with stern warnings. As she left the room, she heard the three-year-old say with a trembling voice, "Who was THAT?"

4. A grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what her own childhood was like. "We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode our pony. We picked wild raspberries
in the woods."  The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this all in. At last she said, "I sure wish I'd gotten to know you sooner!"

5. My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, "Grandma, do you know how you and God are alike?" I mentally polished my halo and I said, "No, how are we alike?'' "You're both old," he replied.

6. A little girl was diligently pounding away on her grandfather's word processor. She told him she was writing a story.
"What's it about?" he asked.
"I don't know," she replied. "I can't read."

7. I didn't know if my granddaughter had learned her colors yet, so I decided to test her. I would point out something and ask what color it was. She would tell me and was always correct. It was fun for me, so I continued. At last,
she headed for the door, saying, "Grandma, I really think you should try to figure out some of these colors yourself!"

8. When my grandson Billy and I entered our vacation cabin, we kept the lights off until we were inside to keep from attracting pesky insects. Still, a few fireflies followed us in. Noticing them before I did, Billy whispered, "It's no use Grandpa. Now the mosquitoes are coming after us with flashlights."

9. When my grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly replied, "I'm not sure" "Look in your underwear, Grandpa," he advised "Mine says I'm 4 to 6." (WOW!  I really like this one -- it says I'm only '38'!)

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