Sunday Family Humour 4th June Page 2

Free Entertainment and Family Fun Every Sunday


Ole and the Road Job

Thanks to Joanne J.

A road crew supervisor hired Ole to assist with painting the yellow line down the middle of the Minnesota road.  He was skeptical about hiring him, but he appeared enthusiastic and told him that he really needed the job.  At least his wife Lena told him so.

He explained to Ole that his work day would be to complete 2 miles of line on the road, and he was set up with brushes and paint and got him started.  After the first day, the supervisor was pleased to find that he did an excellent job and was able to paint 4 miles of road in his 8 hour shift.  He told him that he did an excellent job and how pleased he was with his progress.

On the second day, Ole completed painting 2 miles of road. His supervisor was surprised that on the first day, he had completed twice as much work, but did not say anything, as 2 miles of road was the amount that the job required Anyway.  He decided to just accept it, and to look forward to the next day when he was sure that he would pick up his speed again.

On day 3, the supervisor was shocked to learn that in his 8 hour shift, Ole only completed painting 1 mile of road.  He was called the supervisor's office and asked what was the problem ..  "On your first day, you completed 4 miles of road, on your second day, 2 miles of road, and now on day 3, you were only able to complete 1 mile of road.  Can I ask you, what is the problem?"

"Vell," Ole replied, "I’ll tell you vhat, but I tought you vould know.



Every day I vas getting farder and farder avay from da paint can."


Bike Stealing 101

Thanks to Coach

BikeStealing101.mp4



Funnies

Thanks to David M.

 
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Such a Sweet Helper

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dishwash.mpg


Employees

Thanks to Mary B.
These quotes were (allegedly) taken from actual Federal (US) employee performance evaluations…

  • “I would not allow this employee to breed.”
    “The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead.”
    “This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.”
    “This employee should go far, and sooner the better.”
    “A gross ignoramus – 144 time worse than an ordinary ignoramus.”
    “He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room.”
    “This employee is not so much of a has-been, but definitely more of a definite won’t be.”
    “Donated his brain to science before he was done using it.”
    “When his IQ reaches 50, he should sell.”
    “A prime candidate for natural deselection.”
    “Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a      rat in a trap.”
    “If you stand close to him, you can hear the ocean.”
    “If he were any more stupid, he’d have to be watered twice a week.”
    “If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you’d get change.”
    “It’s hard to believe that he beat out the other sperm.”
    “Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.”
    “He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle.”

    Thieves

Thanks to Joanne J

HuffPost - These adorable thieves will rob you blind, b.mp4


Tiger Cubs and Wolf

Thanks to Francois P

Tiger cubs and the wolf.mp4


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