Sunday Family Humour 30th April Page 2

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Finally a Barbie I Can Relate To

Thanks to Coach

Finally a Barbie I can relate to. At long last, here are some NEW Barbie dolls to coincide with her and OUR aging gracefully. These are a bit more realistic...

1.  Bifocals Barbie. Comes with her own set of blended-lens fashion frames in six wild colors (half-frames too!), neck chain, and large-print editions of Vogue and Martha Stewart Living.

2. Hot Flash Barbie. Press Barbie's bellybutton and watch her face  turn beet red while tiny drops of perspiration appear on her  forehead. Comes with handheld fan and tiny tissues.

3. Facial Hair Barbie. As Barbie's hormone levels shift, see her whiskers grow. available with teensy tweezers and magnifying mirror.

4. Flabby Arms Barbie. Hide Barbie's droopy triceps with these new,  roomier-sleeved gowns. Good news on the tummy front, two-MuMus  with tummy-support panels are included.

5. Bunion Barbie. Years of disco dancing in stiletto heels have definitely taken their toll on Barbie's dainty arched feet. Soothe her sores with the pumice stone and plasters, then slip on soft terry mules.

6. No-More-Wrinkles Barbie. Erase those pesky crow's-feet and lip lines with a tube of Skin Sparkle-Spackle, from Barbie's own line of exclusive age-blasting cosmetics.

7 Soccer Mom Barbie. All that experience as a cheerleader is really paying off as Barbie dusts off her old high school megaphone to root for Babs and Ken, Jr.. Comes with minivan in robin-egg blue or white and cooler filled with doughnut holes and fruit punch.

8. Mid-life Crisis Barbie. It's time to ditch Ken.  Barbie needs a change, and Alonzo (her personal trainer) is just what the doctor ordered, along with Prozac. They're hopping in her new red Miata and heading for the  Napa Valley to open a B&B. Includes a real tape of "Breaking up Is Hard to Do."

9. Divorced Barbie. Sells for$ 199.99. Comes with Ken's house, Ken's car, and Ken's boat.

10. Recovery Barbie. Too many parties have finally caught up with theultimate party girl. Now she does Twelve Steps instead of dance steps. Clean and sober, she's going to meetings religiously.. Comes with a little copy of The Big Book and a six-pack of Diet Coke.

11. Post-Menopausal Barbie. This Barbie wets her pants when she sneezes, forgets where she puts things, and cries a lot. She is sick and tired of Ken sitting on the couch watching the tube, clicking through the channels.  Comes with Depends and Kleenex. As a bonus this year, the book "Getting In Touch with Your Inner Self" is included.

This is Einstein

Thanks to Joanne J.

This is Einstein

America Before Pearl Harbour

Thanks to Ray O'P

America Before Pearl Harbor.ppt

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The Dog Cake

Thanks to Joanne J.

The Dog Cake

Moishe Plotnik's Laundry

Thanks to Spike
(A true story!)
Moishe 1

Walking through San Francisco's Chinatown, a tourist from the Midwest was enjoying the artistry of all the Chinese restaurants, shops, signs and banners, etc.
Moisha 2

Moisha 3

When he turned a corner and saw a building with the sign 'Moishe Plotnik's Laundry.'
 'Moishe Plotnik?' he wondered.
'How does that belong in Chinatown ?'
 He walked into the shop and saw a fairly standard looking dry cleaner, although he could see that the proprietors were clearly aware of the uniqueness of the store name as there were baseball hats, T-shirts and coffee mugs emblazoned with the logo
'Moishe Plotnik's Chinese Laundry.'
The tourist selected a coffee cup as a conversation piece to take back to his office. Behind the counter was a smiling old Chinese gentleman who thanked him for his purchase.
The tourist asked,
'Can you explain how this place got a name like 'Moishe Plotnik's Laundry?''
The old man answered, 'Ah..Evleebody ask me dat.
It name of owner.'
Looking around, the tourist asked,
'Is he here now?'
'It me, Me him!' replied the old man.
Moisha 4
'Really? You're Chinese.
How did you ever get a Jewish name like Moishe Plotnik?'' 
It simple' said the old man.
'Many, many year ago I come to this countly.
I, standing in line at 'Document Center of Immiglation.'
Man in front of me was man from Poland.'
Moishe 55

'Lady at counter look at him and say to him, 'What you name?' 
He (Polish man) say to her, 'Moishe Plotnik.'
Then she look at me and say, 'What your name?'
 I say, 'Sam Ting.'

Dunk Contest in Front of Some NBA Stars

Thanks to David M.

This kid volunteers to participate in a dunk contest in front of some NBA stars.
Even if you've never played basketball, this is IMPRESSIVE.

YouTubeDunk Contest in Front of Some NBA Stars Video


Thanks to Ginny L.

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