Sunday Family Humour 28th August Page 2

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The Green Thing

Thanks to Kenneth S.

Checking out at the store, the young cashier suggested to the much older lady that she  should bring her own grocery bags, because plastic bags are not good for the  environment.

 
  The woman apologized to the young girl and explained, 
“We didn’t have this ‘green thing’ back in my earlier days.”

The young clerk responded, “That’s our problem today.   Your generation did not care enough to save our environment for future generations.”
 

The older lady said that she was right — our generation didn’t  have the “green thing” in its day. The older lady went on to explain:
 

   Back then, we returned milk bottles, soda bottles and beer bottles to the store. The store sent them back to  the plant to be washed and sterilized and refilled, so It could use the same  bottles over and over. So they really were recycled. But we  didn’t have the  “green thing” back in our day.  Grocery stores bagged our groceries in brown paper bags that we  reused for numerous  things. Most memorable besides household garbage bags was the use of brown paper  bags as book covers for our school books. This was to ensure  that public  property (the books provided for our use by the school) was  not defaced by our  scribblings. Then we were able to personalize our books on  the brown paper bags.  But, too bad we didn’t do the “green thing” back  then.  We walked up stairs because we didn’t have an escalator in every store and  office building. We  walked to the grocery store and didn’t climb into a 300-horsepower machine every  time we had to go two blocks.  But she was right. We didn’t have the “green thing” in our day.
 
   Back then we washed the baby’s diapers because we didn’t have the throw away kind. We dried clothes on a line, not in an energy-gobbling machine burning up 220 volts.  Wind and solar power really did dry our clothes back in our early days. Kids got hand-me-down clothes from their brothers or sisters, not always brand-new clothing.  But that young lady is right; we didn’t have the “green thing” back in our day.
 
   Back then we had one TV, or radio, in the house — not a TV in  every room.  And the TV  had a small screen the size of a handkerchief (remember them?), not a screen the  size of the state of Montana . In the kitchen we blended and stirred  by hand because we didn’t have electric machines to do  everything for us. When  we packaged a fragile item to send in the mail, we used  wadded up old newspapers  to cushion it, not Styrofoam or plastic bubble wrap.
 
   Back then, we didn’t fire  up an engine and burn gasoline just to cut the lawn. We used  a push mower that  ran on human power. We exercised by working so we didn’t need to go to a health club to run on treadmills that operate on electricity.  But she’s right; we didn’t have the “green thing” back then.
 
   We drank from a fountain when we were thirsty instead of using a cup  or a plastic bottle  every time we had a drink of water. We refilled writing pens  with ink instead of  buying a new pen, and we replaced the razor blade in a razor instead of  throwing away the whole razor just because the blade got  dull. But we didn’t have the “green thing” back then.
 
   Back then, people took the streetcar or a bus and kids rode their bikes  to school or walked  instead of turning their moms into a 24-hour taxi service in  the family’s $45,000 SUV or van, which cost what a whole house did before the ”green thing.”
 
   We had one electrical outlet in a room, not an entire bank  of sockets to power a  dozen appliances. And we didn’t need a computerized gadget to receive a signal  beamed from satellites 23,000 miles out in space in order to find the nearest  burger joint.
 
   But isn’t it sad the current generation laments how wasteful we old  folks were just  because we didn’t have the “green thing” back then?
Please forward this on to another selfish old person who needs a lesson in conservation from a smart ass young person.
 

We don’t like being old in the first place, so it doesn’t take much  to piss us off...Especially from a tattooed, multiple pierced smartass who can’t make change without the cash register telling them how much.

WWII in Colour

Thanks to Ray O'.

WWII Photos in Colour



Tiny Miracles

Thanks to Spike

Tiny Miracles



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Dog Tired

Thanks to Tully

Dog Tired



Old Timers

Thanks to Kenneth S.

Two guys grew up together but after college one moved to NY the other to California.
Every ten years they agree to meet in Chicago and play golf.
They finish their round and go to lunch. They are 30 years old. 

“Where you wanna go?” 

“Hooters.”
“Why?”
“Well, you know, they got the broads, 
with the big racks, and the tight shorts. The legs…” “OK.” 

Ten years later at 40 they play
“Where you wanna go?” 
“Hooters.”
“Why?”
 “Well, you know, they got cold beer and the big screen TVs, 
and everybody has a little action on the games.” “OK.”


Ten years later at 50 “Where you wanna go?”
“Hooters.” 
“Why?”
 “The food is good and there is plenty of parking.” ”OK.” 

At 60 “Where you wanna go?”
“Hooters.” 
“Why?”
 
“Wings are half price.” “OK” 

At 70 “Where you wanna go?”
“Hooters.” 
“Why?”
 “They have 6 handicapped spaces right by the door.”“OK.” 

At 80 “Where you wanna go?”
“Hooters.”
 “Why?” 
We’ve never been there before.”


Animal Crossovers

Thanks to Bert

Nature is a wonderful and magical thing that provides us with many stunning sights but sometimes it throws up some weird moments when two animals, not naturally meant to breed, come across one another. Here we look at some real crossovers that actually exist.

1. Grolar Bear

As global warming takes effect, polar bears are migrating further to find food and starting to come across breeding grounds of grizzly bears. The crossovers are called grolar bears and are extremely aggressive.

 

Animal Crossovers 1

Jaglion

When a male jaguar and a female lioness were raised together, they went on to produce two cubs that now live in a Canadian sanctuary and are thought to be the only ones of their kind in the world.

Animal Crossovers 2

Zorse

From a category of hybrids known as 'zebroids', the zorse comes from a male horse and a female zebra.

Animal Crossovers 3

Liger

Like many hybrids, this poor animal often has health issues and a stunted lifespan but a cross between a male lion and female tiger does exist.

   

Animal Crossovers 4

Tigon

Go the other way and cross a male tiger and female lion and you get a tigon.

 

Animal Crossovers 5

Cama

Introduce a  female llama and a male camel and a cama is the result.

Animal Crossovers 7

Zonkey

When a zebra and a donkey mix the zonkey can occur and weirdly enough, has occurred naturally as well as with human introduction.

Animal Crossovers 8

Leopon

Lioness and male leopards create a stunning looking but illness susceptible big cat.

Animal Crossovers 9
 

Geep

Extremely rare and often not surviving beyond birth, the geep occurs when genes from a sheep and coat are mixed.

Animal Crossovers 11
 

Savannah Cat

In 1986, an African Serval cat was crossed with a domestic cat producing the semi-domesticated Savannah cat.

 

Animal Crossovers 15

Wholphin

Not the whale-dolphin mix that many assume it is but rather a bottlenose dolphin and a false killer whale, also a dolphin species. Occurring in the 1980s in captivity, it is believed it has happened in nature as well.

Animal Crossovers 14
  

Beefalo

In an attempt to get a greater beef product at lower cost, American farmers bred the American Bison with a cow.

Animal Crossovers 17
 

Wolf Dog

A cross between the wolf and the domesticated dog, in Europe you can only own a second generation one as they are still considered too wild for domestic petting but evidence suggests they have been around for over 10,000 years.

Animal Crossovers 17
 

Mule

Purposely bred since ancient times, the mule is a cross between donkey and horse and is a hardy animal used to carry heavy weights and more resistant to disease than its descendants.

 

Animal Crossovers 18

Narluga

Like the grolar bear, as climates warm up, Narwhals have started to travel further and come across beluga whales.

Animal Crossovers 19

Funny Smoking Card Player

Thanks to Fritz

Funny Smoking Card Player



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