Sunday Family Humour 20th November Page 2

Free Entertainment and Family Fun Every Sunday


Costume Party

Thanks to David M.
A couple was invited to a swanky costume party.  The Mrs. Got a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone.
 
He being a devoted husband protested, but she argued and said she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed and there was no need for his good time being spoiled by not going.
 
So he took his costume and away he went. The wife, after sleeping soundly for about an hour, awakened without pain and, as it was still early, decided to go the party.
Since her husband did not know what her costume was, she thought she would have some fun by watching her husband to see how he acted when she was not with him.
 
She joined the party and soon spotted her husband cavorting around on the dance floor, dancing with every nice woman he could, and copping a little feel here and a little kiss there.
 
His wife sidled up to him and being a rather seductive babe herself, he left his  current partner high and dry and devoted his time to the new babe that had just arrived. She let him go as far as he wished, naturally, since he was her husband.
        
Finally, he whispered a little proposition in her ear and she agreed. 
So off they went to one of the cars and had a quickie.
 
Just before unmasking at midnight, she  slipped away, went home, put the costume away and got into bed, wondering what kind of explanation he would make for his behavior .
        
She was sitting up reading when he came in, and she asked what kind of a time he had.  He said: "Oh, the same old thing. You know I never have a good time when you're not there."
 
"Did you dance much ?"
 
"I'll tell you, I never even danced one dance. When I got there, I met Pete, Bill Brown and some other guys, so we went into the den and played poker all evening. But you're not going to believe what happened to the guy I loaned my costume to.

John Lewis Christmas Advert 2016 - Buster The Boxer

Thanks to Francois P.

John Lewis Christmas Advert 2016 - BusterTheBoxer


Give a Redneck Some Tools 3

Thanks to Tully

Give a Redneck Some Tools 3.ppt


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Canadian Rockies

Thanks to Paul S.

What a trip it would be to travel by car through the Rockies,  
If you’re not pulling over for elk, bear and mountain sheep, then you’re pulling over for scenes like this.
Rockies 1
 
Seeing the scale of the area by air is an added bonus
Rockies 2
 
Even the greyest of mornings can yield the biggest surprises
 
Rockies 3
Sunset at Castle Mountain in Banff. Don’t be afraid to get your feet wet.
Rockies 4
 
This place can make you feel so small and insignificant
Rockies 5
 
Athabasca Falls in Jasper Nati onal Park
Rockies 6
 
Assiniboine Provincial Park is only accessible by helicopter or a six hour hike
 
Rockies 7
I’ve never seen perfect reflections as those at Moraine Lake
Rockies 8
 
It’s easy to get lost in time while admiring the view
 
Rockies 9
The Icefield Parkway is one of the most scenic stretches of road that been on
 
Rockies 10
Even when it’s gloomy, this place is still stunning
Rockies 11
 

A lot of the photography here, I call carpark shooting. It’s not too far from the car to scenes like this.
Rockies 12

The fall is the best time to experience the changing colours in the foliage
 
Rockies 13
Where there are glaciers, there are waterfalls
 
Rockies 14
I just sat in the one spot at Bow Lake and watched the low cloud dance across the mountains
Rockies 15

With a sky like this, you won’t want to go home
Rockies 16

The Greatest Gift

Thanks to Joanne J.

The Greatest Gift


Super Happy Photos

Thanks to Joanne J.

Super Happy Photos.ppt


Noah's Problems

Thanks to Joanne J

file:///data/data/com.lge.email/data/Messaging/Data/Email/753705667/
In the year 2016, the Lord came unto Noah,
Who was now living in America and said:
"Once again, the earth has become wicked and over
-populated, and I see the end of all flesh before me."
"Build another ark and save 2 of every living thing
Along with a few good humans."
He gave Noah the blueprints, saying:
"You have 6 months to build the ark before I will

 

 

Start the unending rain for 40 days and 40 nights."file:///data/data/com.lge.email/data/Messaging/Data/Email/753705667/Smiling                                                           face with                                                           SunglassesSmiling                                                           face with                                                           Sunglasses
Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah
Weeping in his yard - but no ark.
"Noah!," He roared, "I'm about to start the rain!
Where is the ark?"
                

 "Forgive me, Lord," begged Noah, "but things have changed."file:///data/data/com.lge.email/data/Messaging/Data/Email/753705667/
"I needed a building permit."

 

 

file:///data/data/com.lge.email/data/Messaging/Data/Email/753705667/
"I've been arguing with the boat inspector
about the need for a sprinkler system."

 file:///data/data/com.lge.email/data/Messaging/Data/Email/753705667/
"My neighbors claim that I've violated the
Neighborhood by-laws by building the ark in my
Back yard and exceeding the height limitations. We had to
Go to the local Planning Committee for a decision."


file:///data/data/com.lge.email/data/Messaging/Data/Email/753705667/
"Then the local Council and the electric company demanded

A shed load of money for the future costs of moving power
Lines and other overhead obstructions, to clear the
Passage for the ark's move to the sea. I told them
That the sea would be coming to us, but they would
Hear none of it."


file:///data/data/com.lge.email/data/Messaging/Data/Email/753705667/
"Getting the wood was another problem. There's a ban
On cutting local trees in order to save the Greater Spotted Barn Owl."
"I tried to convince the environmentalists that I
Needed the wood to save the owls - but no go!"

 file:///data/data/com.lge.email/data/Messaging/Data/Email/753705667/
"When I started gathering the animals the ASPCA took me to court.

They insisted that I was
Confining wild animals against their will. They
Argued the accommodations were too restrictive and
It was cruel and inhumane to put so many animals in
A confined space."

file:///data/data/com.lge.email/data/Messaging/Data/Email/753705667/
"Then the Environmental Protection Agency

Ruled that I couldn't build the ark

until they'd conducted an environmental impact study
On your proposed flood."


file:///data/data/com.lge.email/data/Messaging/Data/Email/753705667/
"I'm still trying to resolve a complaint with the
Human Rights Commission on how many minorities I'm
Supposed to hire for my building crew."

file:///data/data/com.lge.email/data/Messaging/Data/Email/753705667/
"The Immigration Dept. Is checking the
Visa status of most of the people who want to work."

 file:///data/data/com.lge.email/data/Messaging/Data/Email/753705667/
"The trade unions say I can't use my sons. They
Insist I have to hire only Union workers with
Ark-building experience."

 file:///data/data/com.lge.email/data/Messaging/Data/Email/753705667/
"To make matters worse, the IRS seized all my assets,

claiming I'm trying to leave the country illegally with endangered species."

file:///data/data/com.lge.email/data/Messaging/Data/Email/753705667/
"So, forgive me, Lord, but it would take at least 10
Years for me to finish this ark."

file:///data/data/com.lge.email/data/Messaging/Data/Email/753705667/

"Suddenly the skies cleared, the sun began to shine,
And a rainbow stretched across the sky."

file:///data/data/com.lge.email/data/Messaging/Data/Email/753705667/

Noah looked up in wonder and asked,
"You mean you're not going to destroy the world?"file:///data/data/com.lge.email/data/Messaging/Data/Email/753705667/
"No," said the Lord.
"The Government beat me to it."


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